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he definitely sounds like a chaser. those digs at you “sounding” transgender and other things during sex are really not okay
its great youre sexually open, but not at the cost of this guy treating real marginalized and vulnerable people as his personal sex fantasies. id really consider having a serious talk with him about this
Taking the hit? Is he giving your money back? If he is then you might have a chance. That's up to you. Guy didn't just come to this conclusion. You don't just wake up and say nope not gonna do that. He's known this for a while. He knew he wasn't ready and made an excuse.
Since we are cherry picking I think SHE sounds like an exhausting and demanding partner. You are just going to ignore that she calls him a poor, neglectful man-child because he don’t “take care of the house like a real husband would”, yet he provides income and a roof over her head. She is mean, unemployed and a spoiled brat
First of all, not everything is gaslighting, contrary to Reddits belief. Being like that during fights can be just defensive. Otherwise, what you are doing would be called gaslighting by accusing him. If this is everyday, all day behaviour, maybe you have a case. Regardless, here's a quote for you; “Never, in the history of calming down, has anyone calmed down by being told to calm down”. A better approach would have been, “I read this interesting article”. Give him the gist and say that sometimes you feel like maybe he does this. Don't accuse. If you want to effectively communicate, you have to step back from emotional reactions, be reasoned. If he always reacts with passion, don't engage. Tell him his emotions don't match the issue and you'll give him space until you're both in a place where you both can be reasonable. Let him know you love him and it's something you want to talk about later. No blame.
How so? I clearly state that it is considered child porn. There are laws that address this directly in a number of states, but it is best to not have it period to be safe. Do you disagree with that?
Yeah.. that’s why if you want to know what they meant, you have to ask but it will probably just hurt you more.
So my advice will be don’t.
Why would you want to stay in a relationship with someone that you admit you don't find attractive, so much so that you're uninterested in being physically intimate?
It is completely selfish to stay in the relationship only because you view him as being safe and are afraid you won't find anyone better. How is that fair to him? What do you actually like about him besides the fact that he provides a sense of familiarity? Have you even considered his feelings at all?
Someone got convinced by someone else
Thank you so much I really appreciate it!
Why any woman who can give birth would choose to live! in Texas is beyond me
Doing it her whole life? IIRC that sounds like a self soothing mechanism for kids who have gone through some kind of trauma.
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You’ve got 2 options, so here’s what I think you can do:
Option 1: Ride it out and have a good time while it lasts. You obviously feel there no hope for this relationship to last. You said yourself you usually cut and run. This time don’t. Stay with your gf and see where it goes. She sounds a little like a manic depressive girl I knew. We never dated, but she dated a lot. So go where this takes you and maybe you’ll grow a bit as a human after being hurt, we all know it’s going to happen, unfortunately. But take the experience as you love her, and Ben if she doesn’t love you the same way.
Option 2: Cit and run. You break up with her. She might try and get back with you, but you can’t. She won’t commit long term. Take the L and move in with your life. Your friendship will definitely be over as someone, the way you described her, cannot be friends with an ex who dumped them. You find someone better suited for you. And so does she (or she doesn’t) and move on with your life.
Which option is better, that’s up to you.
For me it wouldn’t be my trust in my fiancé, I wouldn’t trust a guy I didn’t know I’m the house with my fiancé. Just because she isn’t interested doesn’t mean the kid would try anything.
Some people like to have the proof I guess
One month really isn't a lot of time. Being sure that you love someone a month in I would consider “quick”.
It is of course possible that something is wrong, but I doubt it is with you! You might be subconsciously missing something, or maybe you feel like you don't have the same relationship progression that friends of yours have and you're comparing (very natural thing to do, comparison, but it's rarely helpful!).
Now for me, if I was in that situation, I'd want to be honest to my partner. And I'd want to talk this through, the sooner the better. But that's definitely not the tactic for everyone, haha.
So my general advice would be, give yourself a little more time to breathe. Do you have a way to get in touch with your feelings, or express them? To me, journaling does the trick. But any kind of art works. You can also try writing him a letter that you do NOT intend to send. Good luck figuring things out!
Parties don’t have to mean cheating, sexual assault, or whatever else negative on your mind. It’s also possible to simply have fun, leave, and go home without incident.
I don’t want to sit here and say you’re “wrong” for feeling this way. You feel how you feel. It’s not exactly a crazy or uncommon insecurity, but at the end of the day, that’s what it is; an insecurity.
Relationships come down to trust. If you can’t trust your partner then what are you even doing? From there comes the lie most people tell themselves; “I trust my partner, I just don’t trust [other people].” You need to understand that your partner has the agency to say no if someone were to make a move. Unless we’re talking about the extreme scenario, which could certainly happen, but you can’t have a mindset where that’s something that’s a guarantee to happen. It isn’t.
But you can’t tell her not to go. That would absolutely be controlling. You can certainly tell her how you feel, but you can’t except constant reassurance either. As for long distance, you two need to figure out how to make it work together and set expectations. Good luck.
nah that seems like enough time. it’s his problem so let him come to you, you’ve tried enough. maybe you can recruit your friend to help find out some information but you can’t help repair something you don’t know about! unfortunately you might have to wait this out
He isn't doing anything wrong. It sounds as if he is following a judge's order. He has told his attorney that he finds this objectionable and hopefully it will be brought up to the judge. Until then he has to comply. If he were to refuse, it could affect the custody arrangement in place. He really can't risk it.
If you find this too much to deal with then break up. No one can make that determination for you.
I’m with you. My first comment would be “you realise I’m going to discuss this time off with employee directly”
Unless it is unexpected sick leave (think laryngitis or hospitalisation) or family emergency, I would not be talking to the non-staff member about leave. And in those cases I would probably follow up with an email, sms, note in HR system (which notifies employee) about what was agreed.
PS – for 2 hours I would still send the employee a message
are these ppl she knows irl or are these dudes she just likes to get attention from?
Then put an end to it and look for someone else.
But if you throw marriage out of the window, is he suddenly at ease and all is good with him?
2 months before our wedding he has a mental breakdown over some unrelated stuff and calls it off.
To me it's almost clear that your guy is stressed because of the wedding. Might want to look for someone else.
Do act like a fish. He will notice the difference.
Or surrogacy even. There are a lot of options these days. But he’ll be doing her a favor for sure.
Right. Imagine sex not being a big deal for someone. Perhaps it doesn’t reflect a person’s innate value…
Hire a cleaner. He has PTSD, but you have mental health needs too. He treats you the way he is allowed to treat you – you need to set some boundaries.
My fiancée would fart and burp in front of me constantly, so much so it would get a little much. Sadly she died 5 months ago and I would give anything to have her next to me farting and burping again.
I said it was gradual it would start out with us not having sex for days then weeks to months. I got pregnant when we we was having sex every other day instead of everyday.
What did she get or do for you for Valentine's Day?
Does she have a boyfriend?
It’s manipulative, it’s about asserting control, it’s abuse. It’s low key abuse meant to make OP question her sanity, but it’s still abuse, and it’s working. I hope she leaves him.
ohhh i can't wait to see what things she says about you over this. ohhow a pretty ugly picture she is going to paint of you.
she lied to you for years over something very serious. that's nutty
Because it's her own brother and she would rather have him there being a clown than not at all?
Hm someone else told me he was testing me.
Bro this is a roller coaster. Insulting someone for not being jealous and trusting her? Red flags. Calling you a pervert with no basis? Red flags. Super duper manipulative and toxic
You're being a lot more forgiving than I would be. Psychotic behaviour like this is crossing the line and I'd never talk to T again.
I think its appropriate to have a conversation with him. Just make sure you don't act like he is doping anything wrong. HE needs to set a boundary and decode what that boundary is. If you are not happy with it you got to end it.
I am sure he is just as uncomfortable just talk to him about it.
I would assume she still has her ovaries.
Op definitely tried telling him he was going to be a dad. It’s his fault he failed to keep up with it. He did t want anything to do with her. Because he thought she cheated. Op I would definitely send a message letting his mom know what actually went down. But I would also have sit down with your husband and kids and talk about the truth. It’s only fair and right. It’s so gut wrenching to find out that life isn’t true at all and your parents aren’t your parents,but are your parents. Be the better person. It’s also important for health reasons just in case they need some type of major surgery.
“The game's more fun when there's a goalie in the net”
So cringe.
Go to your financial aid office and ask about a grant or scholarship.
Do you like her more than you like yourself?
That’s interesting. I think I want biological but if he never changes his mind I could concider talking to him about it
It is called an ultimatum for a reason. You have to choose at this point.
How long have you been together with your fiance? Did you have him around 5 years ago?
Being so emotionally attached to an ex is difficult to manage while in a new relationship.
I would have been a bit more on your current partner side if not for this:
He doesn't want any other men around me
This is concerning and controlling. So you can't have male friends?
You need to draw some lines with your ex if you want to be serious with another relationship, but, at the same time, your current fiance doesn't look like a good choice either.
I almost read it as “I will pick up YOUR tickets later so me and my pal can go on that exact trip and you won’t “
I would say no, he gave you feedback and that is that he felt friendly vibes rather than romantic and that's perfectly ok. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you, your just not his person in that way.
The reason I am against it is, if you get feedback from people then you will think you have to change certain aspects of yourself. And changing yourself for others is isn't necessary. And if you change things based on one person's opinion doesn't necessarily mean the next will like that… if that makes sense.
Find someone who loves you for you x
I think it is obv the latter here. I would've def put some shady ass comment in the group chat.
Can I just say as well. I expressed before we booked this holiday that the heat was going to be too much for me and he expressly said that we weren't going to be doing anything just relaxing and then he wanted to do the opposite and got mad at me for wanting to do what we planned? If he had of said we'd be doing a lot of activities, I would have booked it for a cooler time of year