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I was in a similiar situation where I lived with a woman who was severely emotionally and verbally abusive. I'd try to break up with her but by the end of it I'd end up saying I love you I'm sorry just because I'd want the guilt and abuse to stop. Or I'd break up and leave but eventually have to come back home bc she had 30 days and she'd start in with the abuse and I'd cave.
My solution, and I'm not really proud of it, was to give her money (she didn't work, lived off my paychecks) to go visit her friend 2 hours away for the weekend. While she was visiting him I moved to a new apartment and told no one that she had access to where it was. I left her a note explaining that the bills and rent were paid until the end of the month but this was good bye.
Looking back I'm glad i had that relationship early on because it taught me to spot the red flags of an abuser really early. I've since never been in a relationship like that.
good luck I know how hard it is.
Yes it may be weird but like all of these problems the best solution is to just talk about it calmly and explain the missed signals
When my boyfriend and I got together, we both the knew that we didn't want children. About 5 years into the relationship the conversation about “getting snipped” came up. I had been having issues with both control at the time and he wasn't keen on the idea of a vasectomy so, I stepped up and got a tubal ligation. I didn't have any complications with it at all. It's his choice if he doesn't want to do that to his body.
So have a constantly pissed wife or divorce her? That's my option. Wonderful.
You won’t be able to move past it, and why try
It’s over
No. They don't. Not in highschool. And as adults women care about stability and reliability, not necessarily money. You can have the former without tons of money.
No prob man ?
He needed serious help on short notice that you couldn't or wouldn't provide. Once you said no, you gave up the right to have opinions about who does have time to help him with an emergency. (If you had such strong opinions about who shows up for him, why didn't you help him find someone?)
If you, his actual girlfriend, said no to supporting him then you have to assume that other friends he asked could have said no too. Most people don't have unlimited social resources, so if he reached the end of his list it makes total sense that he'd call an ex, someone he at least knows and trusts to show up even if he doesn't have great associations with her. For urgent medical needs, you take whatever support you can get to make sure the procedure gets done.
Your only job now is to apologize for not being able to be there for him in any useful capacity and to help him feel better during recovery. He's not the one who let someone down here and he doesn't need your paranoia on top of medical pain and drugs.
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OP: “Ooh, this girl is super sexual. I like this a lot.”
OP gets in a relationship.
OP: “Wait? She's still super sexual? But she's my girlfriend now – she should behave herself and be a good little girl! I don't understand, internet??”
OP acting ridiculous.
Don’t accept misery as a base state of being. If you want something and he’s not giving it to you, find someone who will. You are young, you don’t have any liabilities or responsibilities keeping you together, and why not be happy while you have the chance to be happy.
This isn’t just other people, this is her partner, whom he’s brought home food before and usually shares with. Still, that behavior is crazy over the top even if this was annoying.
If it was me, I would tell him he is free to let all those in the “queue” to “enjoy his dick” and end the relationship. Have some self respect. 28 is still very young.
Ya she be cheating
Any reason she can’t get a job and support herself and her child? Or at least contribute?
Sounds like she’s got herself a sugar daddy
Any reason she can’t get a job and support herself and her child? Or at least contribute?
Sounds like she’s got herself a sugar daddy
Any reason she can’t get a job and support herself and her child? Or at least contribute?
Sounds like she’s got herself a sugar daddy
This shit show is very easy to advise you on.
Stop fucking the dad Apologize like hell to your “friend” (it won't work, but still).
Repeat as necessary.
You can't continue sleeping with the dad and hoping your friend all of a sudden becomes cool with it.
I feel like shit for staying this long. It feels like I can't end it now.
Better to end it now than to be stuck for 6 years!
I’m hoping you can work it out because at 19 with 4 kids, no single guy your age is going to want to date you, no offense.
Oh boy! I was a teen parent too. Pregnant at 17 had him at 18. I waited until I was 25 to have another and couldn't imagine having had more before I finished college.
4 under 3 is difficult for anyone let alone being underage in poverty with a cheating spouse.
I would ask for proof that he is cheating and confront him anyways with or without. If he isn't cheating he shouldn't be upset. I would also choose your words wisely if the person who is dramatic doesn't have proof. Just show your partner the message and ask what they think.
Because I want to push back to se wheat commenter’s opinion I can’t trust and which are jsut feminist opinions that are one sided.
Ironically enough, had strap ons not been mentioned already, I was going to. I'm just glad someone brought it up.
I do that too. I just delete them after or ignore them. Sadly, it’s sometimes safer to just go with the flow and be nice at the time.
No- that guy probably invaded her space and bothered her. She didn’t wanna be bothered to have a convo about her status. She wanted him to fuck off. Don’t be so insecure- is there something else?
The post has been up for 3 hours and you’re clearly not reaching these hoards of people you’re targeting.
4 bloody months. I on-line in London, it’s be been wet and cold since September. We get sun for about 3 weeks during what is apparently Summer. We are currently going through a massive cost of living crisis where everything is absurdly expensive that even those on a good income are struggling to get by in the most expensive city in the UK. Our government is a shit show.
You’ve known this dude for 4 months. You probably barely know him, you’ll most likely regret it. But it’s your life. Do whatever you want.
I am exhausted on your behalf. Good luck.
Cheating isn't just sex or physical. He is intentionally keeping things from you, I think it's just the thrill for him.
Oh I'd confront him. I'd want to watch him break the way he's been breaking me when I tell him I'm done. That I have given him chance after chance and he's done is gaslit me.
And i had mentioned getting a fleshlight before but she said that and porn are close to cheating because it isnt her. But i cant even get to her so idk she really wants me to stare at a blank wall at night when im horny and that kinda hits the pride a bit ya know
I just saw she said she also has 150k (funny it's always the same number though) for a down payment.
So what's the issue here? Lol
I definitely hate the fact that this makes a lot of sense. Again I love her to death and I really hope that’s not the case because just because I view sex in a different way doesn’t mean I don’t love or want her.
I want her to feel respected and wanted because that’s the truth but there are something’s that are desired.
Agreed, I have ADHD and spent two hours manic cleaning my house yesterday.
That he knew that person that night was not the real Daisy and that’s why he can be protective of her when she drinks.
Daisy needs to stop drinking if she gets like this.
Honestly, given how bad of a judge of character she is, she is lucky nothing worse happened. The guy was clearly OK with hitting on a woman in a relationship, so he obviously was a scumbag. All it took was for him to be a little bit more of a scumbag and this uncomfortable encounter could have turned into a rape
Overall I agree with you and I don't want to be too nitpicky, but I really have to take issue with this specfic part.
Hitting on somebody in a relationship is nowhere near on the same level as rape. I personally don't think it's wrong at all to hook up with somebody in a relationship. It's the personal in the relationship who's responsibility it is to stay faithful. It's not on other people to make sure they aren't tempted.
The gap between being down to hook up with somebody in a relationship and being down to rape somebody is so much bigger than the gap between being down to hook up with somebody in a relationship and not.
Everything about this post is selfish. Convincing you to leave this relationship isn't going to work unless you suddenly decide it's what you want, and in the meantime you are going to hurt this guy you claim to like.
Unfortunately many disgusting group chats for that exact purpose have been uncovered, but I think in this scenario OP's boyfriend is just trying to get nudes for himself and hoping OP will believe his mental gymnastics and lies about it being “for the boys”.