Especially since OP's husband is doing exactly that. He's being selfish and changed the plan that was agreed upon because that's what he thinks will make him the happiest.
So, I would be doing the same at this point. And ask him if his job makes him happier with or without you there? If your presence is required for this to be his dream. If he says no, then the answer is very clear, he doesn't care. If the answer is yes, then it's a conversation that needs to be clearly addressed. And then you need to figure out if his presence is required for your happiness to be complete, or can you be happy without him.
I am not sure he understands the severity of his unilateral decision to change plans, either that, or he's decided he's happy with or without you.
You’re being played
Especially since OP's husband is doing exactly that. He's being selfish and changed the plan that was agreed upon because that's what he thinks will make him the happiest.
So, I would be doing the same at this point. And ask him if his job makes him happier with or without you there? If your presence is required for this to be his dream. If he says no, then the answer is very clear, he doesn't care. If the answer is yes, then it's a conversation that needs to be clearly addressed. And then you need to figure out if his presence is required for your happiness to be complete, or can you be happy without him.
I am not sure he understands the severity of his unilateral decision to change plans, either that, or he's decided he's happy with or without you.