Wow… that edit. Buddy, you’re a douche bag narcissist. I’m willing to bet that you’ve never been responsible for anything in your life. Every bad thing that happens is someone else’s fault. You will be a terrible parent and I think your son would be better off with your ex.
The restaurant life ain't for everybody. It can be hell on earth and as a general manager you both have to accept that her life is the restaurant. That's just how it works. potential 12+ hour days in a hot kitchen and having to micro manage employees who might or might not show up for a dinner rush, will make anyone unhappy.
There's nothing romantic about the restaurant life. It's grind, grind, grind.
But why? Is it a bunch of guys that he wants you to stop hanging out with? What is the dynamic that is causing the insecurities? Have you slept with any of them in the past?
You should of helped him but you need to not feel broken brigde the grap. You just come out an say what you seen, he was embarrassed so talkto him. Communication is the key
You should of helped him but you need to not feel broken brigde the grap. You just come out an say what you seen, he was embarrassed so talkto him. Communication is the key
Yeah, it is his room and no, he didn’t expect her to walk past hot but after the first time, he should have walked away. Yes, he was trying to relax but leaving signals that he wasn’t at all interested. Fair enough, leaving it to his gf to handle may be the better thing to do but he definitely should have removed himself from the vicinity.
I’m not sure how long they’ve been together but OP did say she visited bf parents house every weekend, meaning that even if it was for 1 year, they still built a decent relationship. If she had seen them once or twice, then yes it would be inappropriate. Even so, the OP was put in a no win situation. Its considered rude in many cultures to refuse a gift.
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Brain surgery is the last option only used on very heavy cases.
Normal treatment is confrontation therapy and SSRi.
That said, the hospital I go to also tried to get me into something called “EKT” here, which stands for something which roughly translates to “electro-cramp-therapy” and is basically electroshocks. I've seen some people try it for depression and they were… not well afterwards (couldn't remember their names or where they were, basically like zombies). So I'm not disagreeing with Germany being really backwards in places.
That said, I just googled “brain surgery OCD” and brain surgery for OCD is also a thing in America – in fact, the results for English are even worse, as they still list treatments that aren't happening in Germany anymore (treatments burning areas of the brain – what we do here is some stuff where you get electrodes giving off electric impulses into the brain).
You need to find out how to divorce this crazy girl. Banning you and grand child a relationship with your mother is crazy. Your wife is insane and you need to leave before she makes further threats down the road to you and the baby
Thank you for your help regardless – it's a tough situation honestly. I've stuck with him so far hoping it'll get better but it's just getting worse over time – and I fear if I leave him, I will only make HIS mental health worse. I'll just give it time and hope for the best now. Thank you.
I was not controlling the amount she drank. She had drank way over her limit and she still had half of another bottle, i did not control anything, i told her to take it easy. SHE BLACKED OUT THE NIGHT BEFORE.
OP your boyfriend doesn't want to marry you. He just looked you enough to not want to hurt you, be and if comfortable enough to stay in your purgatory.
What he's said has made you anxious and desperate to change yourself to get him to marry you. NO!
I was you. I spent five years with a man that wasn't sure about me. We should have broken up three years prior. We just liked each other enough to stay together. We did love but it wasn't marriage material.
Don't waste your time. Don't be me. It's really set me back.
Tell him you've decided you aren't going to waste a year. Tell him you're breaking up now. You love him but you've got to do what's best for you.
This will be very hot my darling. But you need to start making decisions based on what's best for you. And stop making decisions based on fear.
I'm sorry, maybe I missed it, but I've read the post twice and I don't see what your objection to this woman is? Is she married? Is she somebody that you knew previously who was terrible to you? What's the deal?
Honestly she's very immature and absolutely a nightmare to be with, but I will say even I know not to come home without food for her even if she says she'll burn our house down if I do.
A lot of women are programmed to not be a bother/nuisance or to take up space. That results in them denying themselves something they really want and relaying on their partner being “sweet” and bringing them something back anyways. Its insidious because they're taught that from birth.
It’s tough to voice your disappointment. You don’t know if you’re in the right, and you don’t want to mess things up, and you don’t know how to say it right, and a dozen other things. Communication is complicated.
That said, people grow resentful when they don’t voice their dislikes. He needs to know you want something more, and hopefully he takes this opportunity to make it up to you. Good luck! 🙂
You’re not going to change someone. He told you he’s not good at it, so you need to decide if you can live in this relationship as is, or if it’s going to make you recent him more with each passing year.
If this friend is a mutual friend, it's not a great idea to confide in them. First, they will be torn in two directions by loyalty to you both. Second, you shouldn't assume they will keep your confidences and not share information with your ex.
Besides, why would you go to a friend, when you have Reddit for advice? /s
You have handled this well! There is a very good chance Amy will not remember what she has said and will be completely mortified when she realises. If she is a good friend, there is every chance she will be remorseful and embarrassed and will try to apologise to you both. It will be up to Julia if she wants to continue the friendship.
Maybe I misread the comment but guess what! The difference the three literally doesn't matter at all in this case! There was no need to bring them up at all! Therefore the other user was being a fucken weirdo mentioning it! That's all I have to say to you abt that
Can I ask what your lawyer said how specifically it’s “better” if you accept his deal? How would rejecting it and telling everyone about his affair affect the divorce proceedings?
Binge drinking is still addiction. He is addicted to binging alcohol. That makes him an alcoholic. Even in remission an alcoholic is still an addict, the disease stays.
I offered to wear an eyepatch and she wouldn't go for it. I even offered to buy a new pair of sunglasses to wear in public and at dinner and she rejected the idea.
They really need to get on the same page with this. Maybe she won't be able to stand up to her mother – okay, but she needs to be okay if OP stands his ground and not get upset if her mother gets angry at him and yells at her for it.
This is really the wife's issue…but when it comes to people who have very controlling parents, it can be a very tough thing to take them on, especially when they are with you in the same house. :/
Haha my bf and I have this problem. I have Raynauds on my hands and feet so there’s definitely a medical reasoning behind it for me. And especially when I haven’t eaten well that day (calorie deficit).
What we do is, after lovemaking etc, afterwards I give him five or ten minutes and then I put one leg against him until he says he’s ready for a hug. Then one of us gets too warm and we let each other go until he whines for me to be the big spoon at around 2 or 3 in the morning.
We open and close our balcony window so we don’t have to use a fan (I hate those. I’m European – just give me natural air through an open window).
So this works for us. We have a timeframe of a certain amount of minutes and then we can touch each other.
This works better in the winter than it does in the summer. In the summer we are hot all the time and even I don’t want to be touched haha
She needs to be in therapy. Perhaps you can do couples counseling as well to tell her and show that you are supporting her and want the best for her.
no idea to be honest, thank you
He knows about them all except for the one thing I found last night.
My advice would be pay attention to what gets a positive response and what gets brushed off. You can then make refinements from there.
Wow… that edit. Buddy, you’re a douche bag narcissist. I’m willing to bet that you’ve never been responsible for anything in your life. Every bad thing that happens is someone else’s fault. You will be a terrible parent and I think your son would be better off with your ex.
The restaurant life ain't for everybody. It can be hell on earth and as a general manager you both have to accept that her life is the restaurant. That's just how it works. potential 12+ hour days in a hot kitchen and having to micro manage employees who might or might not show up for a dinner rush, will make anyone unhappy.
There's nothing romantic about the restaurant life. It's grind, grind, grind.
But why? Is it a bunch of guys that he wants you to stop hanging out with? What is the dynamic that is causing the insecurities? Have you slept with any of them in the past?
Thank you for your feedback
There is a deeper issue than just this one time man tantrum. Does he snap like this at home?
So it wasn't unsolicited… he asked how it went. She showed him how it went.
You wanna place all the burden on the other party without putting your man under it too.
He also talked to her at the party. He could have shifted his body to include you and changed the language of the conversation for you. But he didn't.
He wants to have her around and he wants to talk to her regardless of how it impacts you
Uh what your “ best friend” did is a crime
You should of helped him but you need to not feel broken brigde the grap. You just come out an say what you seen, he was embarrassed so talkto him. Communication is the key
You should of helped him but you need to not feel broken brigde the grap. You just come out an say what you seen, he was embarrassed so talkto him. Communication is the key
This is so so so much grosser.
Yeah, it is his room and no, he didn’t expect her to walk past hot but after the first time, he should have walked away. Yes, he was trying to relax but leaving signals that he wasn’t at all interested. Fair enough, leaving it to his gf to handle may be the better thing to do but he definitely should have removed himself from the vicinity.
I’m not sure how long they’ve been together but OP did say she visited bf parents house every weekend, meaning that even if it was for 1 year, they still built a decent relationship. If she had seen them once or twice, then yes it would be inappropriate. Even so, the OP was put in a no win situation. Its considered rude in many cultures to refuse a gift.
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You’re a legal adult. It’s kidnapping if she physically blocks you from leaving. Just go. And they don’t need constant updates, you’re not a child
Brain surgery is the last option only used on very heavy cases.
Normal treatment is confrontation therapy and SSRi.
That said, the hospital I go to also tried to get me into something called “EKT” here, which stands for something which roughly translates to “electro-cramp-therapy” and is basically electroshocks. I've seen some people try it for depression and they were… not well afterwards (couldn't remember their names or where they were, basically like zombies). So I'm not disagreeing with Germany being really backwards in places.
That said, I just googled “brain surgery OCD” and brain surgery for OCD is also a thing in America – in fact, the results for English are even worse, as they still list treatments that aren't happening in Germany anymore (treatments burning areas of the brain – what we do here is some stuff where you get electrodes giving off electric impulses into the brain).
You need to find out how to divorce this crazy girl. Banning you and grand child a relationship with your mother is crazy. Your wife is insane and you need to leave before she makes further threats down the road to you and the baby
Sounds like it’s time to learn the difference between a relationship and codependency.
Thank you for your help regardless – it's a tough situation honestly. I've stuck with him so far hoping it'll get better but it's just getting worse over time – and I fear if I leave him, I will only make HIS mental health worse. I'll just give it time and hope for the best now. Thank you.
Lol ?
I was not controlling the amount she drank. She had drank way over her limit and she still had half of another bottle, i did not control anything, i told her to take it easy. SHE BLACKED OUT THE NIGHT BEFORE.
This is correct.
OP your boyfriend doesn't want to marry you. He just looked you enough to not want to hurt you, be and if comfortable enough to stay in your purgatory.
What he's said has made you anxious and desperate to change yourself to get him to marry you. NO!
I was you. I spent five years with a man that wasn't sure about me. We should have broken up three years prior. We just liked each other enough to stay together. We did love but it wasn't marriage material.
Don't waste your time. Don't be me. It's really set me back.
Tell him you've decided you aren't going to waste a year. Tell him you're breaking up now. You love him but you've got to do what's best for you.
This will be very hot my darling. But you need to start making decisions based on what's best for you. And stop making decisions based on fear.
It's currently between 8pm and 11pm here in Oz (depending on which time zone).
I'm sorry, maybe I missed it, but I've read the post twice and I don't see what your objection to this woman is? Is she married? Is she somebody that you knew previously who was terrible to you? What's the deal?
Honestly she's very immature and absolutely a nightmare to be with, but I will say even I know not to come home without food for her even if she says she'll burn our house down if I do.
A lot of women are programmed to not be a bother/nuisance or to take up space. That results in them denying themselves something they really want and relaying on their partner being “sweet” and bringing them something back anyways. Its insidious because they're taught that from birth.
Redditors can be real assholes.
It’s tough to voice your disappointment. You don’t know if you’re in the right, and you don’t want to mess things up, and you don’t know how to say it right, and a dozen other things. Communication is complicated.
That said, people grow resentful when they don’t voice their dislikes. He needs to know you want something more, and hopefully he takes this opportunity to make it up to you. Good luck! 🙂
You’re not going to change someone. He told you he’s not good at it, so you need to decide if you can live in this relationship as is, or if it’s going to make you recent him more with each passing year.
If this friend is a mutual friend, it's not a great idea to confide in them. First, they will be torn in two directions by loyalty to you both. Second, you shouldn't assume they will keep your confidences and not share information with your ex.
Besides, why would you go to a friend, when you have Reddit for advice? /s
You have handled this well! There is a very good chance Amy will not remember what she has said and will be completely mortified when she realises. If she is a good friend, there is every chance she will be remorseful and embarrassed and will try to apologise to you both. It will be up to Julia if she wants to continue the friendship.
Maybe I misread the comment but guess what! The difference the three literally doesn't matter at all in this case! There was no need to bring them up at all! Therefore the other user was being a fucken weirdo mentioning it! That's all I have to say to you abt that
Can I ask what your lawyer said how specifically it’s “better” if you accept his deal? How would rejecting it and telling everyone about his affair affect the divorce proceedings?
Very much agree with you. I really don't believe in telling people what they can or can't do. Thanks for your insight!
Binge drinking is still addiction. He is addicted to binging alcohol. That makes him an alcoholic. Even in remission an alcoholic is still an addict, the disease stays.
I offered to wear an eyepatch and she wouldn't go for it. I even offered to buy a new pair of sunglasses to wear in public and at dinner and she rejected the idea.
Call the cops. He’s a sex offender
He just called me and started messaging me alil bit. Gonna take more than that, this time.
They really need to get on the same page with this. Maybe she won't be able to stand up to her mother – okay, but she needs to be okay if OP stands his ground and not get upset if her mother gets angry at him and yells at her for it.
This is really the wife's issue…but when it comes to people who have very controlling parents, it can be a very tough thing to take them on, especially when they are with you in the same house. :/
Haha my bf and I have this problem. I have Raynauds on my hands and feet so there’s definitely a medical reasoning behind it for me. And especially when I haven’t eaten well that day (calorie deficit).
What we do is, after lovemaking etc, afterwards I give him five or ten minutes and then I put one leg against him until he says he’s ready for a hug. Then one of us gets too warm and we let each other go until he whines for me to be the big spoon at around 2 or 3 in the morning.
We open and close our balcony window so we don’t have to use a fan (I hate those. I’m European – just give me natural air through an open window).
So this works for us. We have a timeframe of a certain amount of minutes and then we can touch each other.
This works better in the winter than it does in the summer. In the summer we are hot all the time and even I don’t want to be touched haha