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Normally, I would say your husband needs to handle his family of origin (MIL). But if you have a serious conversation with him about your concerns for your children’s safety, and he won’t do anything? I wouldn’t blame you at all for taking things into your own hands and sending her packing. The kids don’t deserve to be terrified in their own home and MIL needs therapy for the hoarding behaviors mentioned in an OP response
I hurt for you. It sounds like you’ve been generous with your trust. With that being said, those do seem like red flags, especially with the dating apps. It seems like you might need to have a come to Jesus talk with her. I wish you all the best.
I usually jump on the popular bandwagon here, but in this case I want to say that I think you should take any reddit advice with alot of salt. This happened for a really long time. 6 years. He told you. You are both really young. I think you need to talk to a therapist, and maybe a confidant, to get some ideas, because you both have so much history. But you are young, and you deserve to be with someone you can trust.