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Yes
She don't give a fuck about you, why are you giving a fuck about her. Tell her you know about her cheating and then ghost the fuck out of the bitch. She belongs to the streets
Just ignore her silent treatment. Pretend like you didn't notice her ignoring you. Finally start saving for your own place.
He sounds like a hypocritical nut. Leave him before you waste more time on him
No, you are right. Consent is important. The worst case scenario – and I'm saying she will, but she could – she says it wasn't consensual. You're in jail
If you are not with him then there is nothing to walk away from. Also you don’t know what is good enough for someone. You don’t calibrate that. You also don’t know what someone else wants unless they explicitly tell you something like… I only date people with yachts.. and if having a yacht isn’t in your future then…sure… you might not be what that person wants…a person with a yacht. You can tell someone you’re into them and see what they say. If they say they don’t feel the same…you move on.
She is single too – as far as I know. Earlier, Divorce had been much harder for her than it was for me. Over the last year, she has got over it, changed her lifestyle choices, got over her depression. While I got sucked into missing the family life.
Think with your brain not with your dick
He was having sex with a teenager? How long have y’all had this relationship?
Not fair. He can’t expect you to be telling him everything g you’re doing if he’s not doing the same. If your relationship includes you both having freedom to look at other people on the internet, that’s fine as long as both people are following the same expectations as far as communication and activities allowed go.
I too suffer with anxiety. If your boyfriend knows how anxious you are (in general) you should ask him to just text you and let you know he is safe/home/ok. Completely normal. To then go out with his friends to a club after speaks volumes. You should be the priority.
Ok 1: that's all they said and its anonymous? If someone messaged him you were cheating would you want him to take that as seriously as you're taking this? That's a breech of trust. 2: You are literally asking if it's possible… like… if you haven't seen it it's not happening; are you really able to be led down a road so easily? 3: I'm bummed out, but not surprised there are posts on here saying he is: that's ridiculous and heads up there can be a shocking amount of spite on r/relationship_advice. You should confront the account to tell them who they are. And unless they have clear evidence: you should forget about it completely.
Isn't that what you'd want him to do if someone messaged him lies about you?
I mean he’s a single guy. What do you expect?
Um her boyfriend asked if he could sleep with other people she said she was okay. Even if she wasn’t she should’ve speak up. No wonder you had multiple that didn’t work relationships because no sex is actually important. As a raped victim myself. I knew I wasn’t able to get into a relationship including sexual activity for a while. So I waited till I was emotionally okay to be in physical relationship. She should’ve never gotten into a relationship If she can’t have any physical contact with him. It’s still kind of her fault for staying in a shitty relationship that her boyfriend makes raped jokes. She’s better being single of while till she actually heals from her trauma.
We pee where we want. Sincerely – men.
Gotta go walk my dog.
He’s probably cheating with her. Do not trust him. He’s clearly able and happy to lie to you
As someone who is pansexual, this situation would be a nightmare. Sooo I can't hang out with anyone alone then???
This topic is more about boundaries than anything. Does your girlfriend avoid conflict a lot? Does she speak up when something is going wrong? Has there been cheating in her family before?
This is certainly an extreme view point. Very primal urges-y. But as another commenter has mentioned, you're both kind of right.
I think you can do both things here. Be understanding and frustrated. If she's telling you this is a hard boundary for her, aka she doesn't want you hanging around ANY woman alone, no exceptions.. you need to take a long pause to think if this is what you want the rest of your life to look like. You're young and this is something she may never change her mind on. And she's well within her right to uphold it.
My partner and I operate person by person. I'm an extrovert, he isn't, so I tend to interact with many more people than he does. I tell him about all my interactions with people (because I love telling him about my day) and he lets me know if he gets a bad vibe from someone based on my recount. If he does, we talk it out and I establish a boundary with that person if needed, or cut them out completely. I'm fairly good at sussing out the bad eggs who don't respect my relationship but that takes time. He also trusts me to put someone in their place and remove myself from the situation.
Regardless, you two need to talk about this further. Maybe even under the guidance of a third party, like a therapist. They would be able to help you both articulate your feelings and guide solutions if you're both willing.
I hope you two find some middle ground soon and a solution moving forward. Good luck, OP!
If you look at the age gap, I can see why he’s insecure lol
Hahahaha. This is gold. You're having casual sex and now you're pissed at your best mate for having a one night stand with your fwb. That's the issue with no strings attached sex.
He is being mentally abusive to you. This is horrific behavior, and that someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
And here I am paying for infertility treatment… yet people this blind are repopulating. The world is a cruel cruel place.
Your mom is correct. You need to get snipped and take your head out of your rear (or a multitude of vaginas I guess, more literally). There is NO way you’re in every life of every child you donated sperm to. Throwing money at children while their moms raise them day to day is unfair. Having children when you know you’re sick is unfair. This is all fuelled by ego and narcissism. The therapy comment is proof.
You’re the smartest man in the world, spreading his seed so how could anyone else know better than you. /s
And here I am paying for infertility treatment… yet people this blind are repopulating. The world is a cruel cruel place.
Your mom is correct. You need to get snipped and take your head out of your rear (or a multitude of vaginas I guess, more literally). There is NO way you’re in every life of every child you donated sperm to. Throwing money at children while their moms raise them day to day is unfair. Having children when you know you’re sick is unfair. This is all fuelled by ego and narcissism. The therapy comment is proof.
You’re the smartest man in the world, spreading his seed so how could anyone else know better than you. /s
This is not going to work. This is more a parent child relationship. Creepy
Updateme!
Pushing your head towards his crotch?
That makes my blood BOIL for you. The reasonable response to that is to get up, give him a very stern look, tell him that was not ok, and then LEAVE.
And don’t bother trying to talk this one through. He’s old enough to know how disgusting that was. He did it anyhow. When you decided to continue ANY further communication with him, you are telling him he can thoroughly disrespect you and you’ll still come around for another round.
Have enough self respect to realize he’s not worth your time.
Let????? Oh hell no. Obviously the wife is in the wrong here but nobody needs to give anybody permission to have friends of the opposite sex
Thanks for the advice ?
Im really trying my best to get over him asap, just the few hours in the day where my heart just missed him so much that is killing me. My head knows that he’s not worth it, im just trying to learn how to control my heart and move on from this monkey.
Hope you found your keeper by now or maybe in the very soon future ❤️
It seems like you are trying really hard to justify your actions. People DO have different definitions of marriage. As I said you may be in an open relationship but unless you are 110% sure her relationship is open, this would be really selfish of you to prioritize your WANTS over another couples NEEDS. If you decide to do this, this is purely because you are selfish.
sex is not my love language. i like physical contact, but it doesn't have to be sex. while we were together we did some foreplay and i did physically enjoy it but it's just not the same thing. doing stuff like sexting and foreplay feels like “just” sex, doing the real thing makes me feel good in my heart too
Tag him in the photos ? maybe he’s just private person
Ok I agree that having time part is healthy
Not Assuming autocorrect fucked this up. lol
You're not crazy, and she is not in denial. She's just a garden variety cheating asshole.
But they got engaged in NYC and it was magical! Isn’t that enough?!
/s
She feels like a victim, acknowledge that. She can't make you feel like an asshole if you are not the one!
“Knowing my wife, I gave her an hour or so, to cool down, expecting her to come back out for dinner, but she never did.” – do you really know her? You thought that she'll not be angry at you in front of the friends and that she'll come and pretend that everything's fine? Why didn't you deal with the problem?
“The increase in the frequency of her talking about a future without me” – what kind of the person would do that? Would you talk about the future without her? How would you feel if you did that to her?
She's making you miserable, you are making her miserable. What do you do to make her feel loved? When talking with her often use “I feel..”
“I talk her down, we ignore each other until we’ve cooled off” – so you don't acknowledge you did anything wrong, she doesn't acknowledge she did anything wrong and you two just ignore the problem, nothing gets resolved.
Stop blaming hormones, stop defending yourself, don't be scared of breaking up.
Put yourself in her shoes to try to understand why you make her feel like that. What she doesn't like, where the anger is coming from…
he said sorry and that it wasnt the first time he’d been told that, and that he’d try to control himself more around me. He said he’s just too excited.
That's not how concent works. He can figure it out, quick, or he can be gone. Don't put up with people who stomp on your boundaries. Especially people who don't take accountability.
That’s the thing. The amount of times I have actually addressed this issue and fought with him. I feel so bad right now.
I hate to be going through this. ?
Her reaction would make me uncomfortable to ever be affectionate again. I get why you would dip out of the relationship.
It sounds like your relationship effectively ended four years ago.
Are you both willing to try couples counseling?
He cannot be a dom. A masculine Dominant will be extremely interested in the Sub to supply what they want and need to be fulfilled. They would never tell them to be quiet or say their opinions aren't submissive unless the sub has a humiliation kink or something. Or if they asked to learn to use less words and think more before speaking or something? I sometimes work on brevity and concise communication. But to just tell OP to shut it because speaking isnt feminine? That's weak communication. We all have yin and yang qualities and a balance is important. It just sounds like he is insecure about how much smarter OP is.
?
In my experience, men no longer care if a woman has a bf or husband.
One example of many; before the pandemic, I was getting in my car after leaving the gym, when this guy comes running at me. I quickly got into my car, locked the door, and when he tapped on my window, I rolled it down a little only bc I saw he was an employee.
He wanted my number. I thanked him for the compliment, since he was probably 35 years younger than me, and told him not only that but that I’m married.
He said my husband didn’t need to know.
I had a similar experience in a grocery store parking lot.
Wedding rings no longer work, nor does being with my hubby as I’ve had men hit on me when I’m with him (for instance, otw to the restroom).
This is a very common experience for women, so we have to look for alternatives.
Seek therapy
Just tell her that any time she wants to film another guy eating her pussy and have him post it on the internet, it's A-OK and not cheating at all.
Fuck, man. I didn’t expect to unlock trauma triggers tonight ?
I understand he lost his daughter, grief is messed up. But his behaviour is disrespectful. His daughters death shouldn’t excuse his bad behaviour. And at his age, he should know better. And at your age, you know how you should be treated. My deepest sympathies to him, but maybe it’s best you go your separate ways.
She doesn't a “normal 9 to 5 job” cause she doesn't want to have one cause of her experience working at McDonald's she only sells stuff online
Yeah, seems pretty over.
You don't need to leave fast. Make some plans, and make sure your daughter is okay.
Two hour commute each way to school? No, stay put
Stop fucking a married man, he’s 43 and can figure out his own life
That’s really good insight. Hard to have an identity when the things one defines oneself with are more or less out of the picture and you are already 60+.
Also think very hard if you really want to provide oral sex to someone who's just going to turn it around and complain about your performance.
Thought someone might say that, but I just enjoyed her friendship and work. Not romantically interested.
The friend zone is quicksand.
Um, you should be far more concerned about the fact that this lady started calling you names, “blaming” you for your inexperience, and then having mutual friends try to get you back together… maybe SHE should be reminded what “casual dating” means.
data point? overlap? this is a relationship, not a statistical model ?
Leave him not worth it
Thanks for the advice, at the end of our date I did just insist on no and he stopped pushing. That being said I guess I just didnt want to hurt him by saying I didnt want to remain friends. Im usually on the receiving end of these conversations so I dont know how to say it to someone else really well.
As for the truth? How should I tell someone that? It just feels to harsh to say atleast coming from me.
Sigh… opens the comments
OP is looking for confirmation that “oh but if the roles were reversed nobody would say anything!!”
I'm worried that she might have groomed him
She's known him since he was 14 and now they're in a physical relationship. Isn't this the definition of grooming?
Why are you married to such a terrible person.
It makes it less special to share that with someone. It doesn’t make them bad people it just makes it hollow.
You summarised it best.
True, people have the choice to have sex with as many people. The flipside is also that people have a choice to accept the high number of past sex partners.
This is a great comment.
It's a tale as old as time. I understand you think it'll be the exception but you'd be wrong.
Well you should have asked for opinions before ending it.
If b is mature enough to give you a hall pass on the vacation and you gave her one for the time you were away, and do something special with her before and after you get back, maybe it could have worked.
What does A think?
The risk is higher, but still not high, it's not like a switch flicks overnight at 35. Anyway, none of this was really my point. Part of the reason women hold on with unsuitable men is precisely because they're told being married and having children should be their priority and they won't find anyone else.
Congratulations. Y'all are acting fairly mature about it for your ages. That said…
Giving time and space to be alone should accomplish just that. You both should take some time to focus on yourselves….alone. You're not going to accomplish that when trying to be friends. Your description of how you want it sounds like what a healthy relationship should be. How can you be there for each other if you need to work on yourselves? Get yourself straightened out and let her do the same. If you both are able to pick things up in the future, then great. But do you want a forced friendship if it means she can't work on herself?
Both of you take the space you need. If your love was as real as you think it was, it should be no problem picking things back up later. Your relationship or friendship won't work if one or both of you have unresolved issues.
This is twisted. He has raped your sister! You've already said she has a problem with alcohol so she likely doesn't remember (although she seriously needs to work on cutting back as it is clearly ruining her life and others). Your husband is revolting and fully understands what he has done.
SERIOUSLY there is no going back! Your husband is a disgusting excuse for a human who thinks its ok to use a completely inebriated woman!
It’s difficult when loved ones have parents who are sick. On the one hand, it’s totally understandable that they would want to spend time with them. On the other (and especially in a situation where the two of you don’t online together), it’s hurtful when they choose to spend time with their parents over you. I would let him know it hurt you when he said his mother ultimately comes first and confirm that he really means that. If he does, and I know this isn’t the answer you want to hear, but you may want to rethink your relationship-especially before the two of you end up moving in together or getting married. Best to get these feelings out in the open now when they can be dealt with with limited consequences.
Uhm, I don’t got advice, I only got a hug.
He probably has another girl and doesn't want her to see your posts. This isn't normal behavior.
Yeah… it’s a NOPE for me… she’s crying crocodile tears because she got caught
is he aware that his phone has features like silent mode and do not disturb?
you’re dating a total mama’s boy. this would be a dealbreaker for me.
Thank you.
I used to do this to my partner until he pointed it out and then I was embarrassed and stopped
his balls belong in his sack, not your purse.
That cracked me up, I had never heard that before but it is so apt.
Sis, you're absolutely insane to think you are somehow in the right. I'd be so embarrassed by my parents behavior and livid they would dare to disrespect the person I love simply bc of a difference in culture. Absolutely insane. I'd have cut them off. The effort should be coming from your parents, NOT your boyfriend.
Wait until you’re dating at least a year.
Your friend is right. Full stop.
Oh honey. YOU. WERE. RAPED. You need to report him, press charges, leave him and never look back. He raped you. He is a rapist.
This is absolutely heartbreaking. You don’t forgive him at all because this man RAPED you. He violated your trust, ignored consent and showed he doesn’t give a shit about anything but his own selfish wants, at the cost of your emotional and physical well-being. He makes me sick to my stomach and, like everyone else commenting here, so, so angry.
You were raped by someone you thought loves you and that’s a lot to process. Please, please reach out to a trusted adult in your life as you will need help dealing with this. You may not feel traumatized now, but when the shock wears off it will come.
Fuck this guy!! I’m so livid on your behalf and am sending a giant internet hug.
I hate when the ick crawls up my spine. The fact she's not feeling it and trying to normalise dating someone so much younger… Worrying behaviour? I do not think you want to be in any way tangled up in this kind of scenario OP. Take care of yourself, walk away.
She’s will cheat on you will him
Is there any advice besides “break up”? Is there a way I can figure out the sincerity of his other views?
OP, you obviously don't want advice. You keep fighting against everyone on this comment thread. So stay with this dude. You'll watch him become more and more conservative. He might even keep up the facade of “being a feminist” or “I have gay friends” for a while. So, you know, good luck with all that.
If the sex is bad, leave. If his social media habits are bad, leave. Life is too short and there are plenty of other men in the world.
Move on. You're wasting a lot of time spinning yarn about your ex.
Again, move on.
How have you let this go on this long?
I don’t think either one of them are trying to steamroll their views I think she just said “I’m not taking your last name for xyz reasons” and he agreed but they didn’t have any further conversations about children and their names
What is narcissism for 1000$, Alec
It would be a stupid idea to risk your relationship with your family and friends for someone that has/had a drinking problem where their behaviour was extremely toxic. Especially since he has been sober for less than 2 months. You never know, he could only be doing it to give you a false sense of security, then once you're comfortable he starts drinking again. Happens a lot more than you think.
I think testing a partner is a deal breaker. I would never do that to my girlfriend and she'd never do it to me
You handled it absolutely perfect ? and you deserve better
More then likely you op will never read this. If you do I hope you understand.
Many females are taught to smile, you can call it poker face up. We are taught to be civil servants to be fake.
We open up to the ones we trust,
So it’s a habit he’s probably had for many, many years. A habit that helps his hands feel better. I also crack my knuckles and I physically can’t go without it otherwise my hands start to ache to a point I can’t think of anything else. This isn’t just a “he won’t stop for me” thing. This is a you all of the sudden getting annoyed by something he’s done for a long time.
Well then, do what mommy says.
Maybe he's a serial killer. Or maybe he's just suffering from some delayed teenage angst phase where he needs to make himself sound more dangerously important than he is. But when someone has a secret life, real or imagined, they're just not a good bet to invest any emotion into. You've probably dodged a bullet here.
Reread your post but change the title to (43M).
So take her last name if everyone having the same last name is important.
If you don't want to be with her you don't need a silly sticking point. Not only do you not have to all have the same last name, you don't have to marry her.
Thanks for your input. My SO would not have wanted to go as evidenced by his opinions about how unsafe Mexico is. My friends invited us to Mexico City and he said no. I figured I’d just go and tell him about it which I did. I hear you and good point though about 1 days vs 3.5 years. I guess for me it’s more the fact that if he is doing this for this thing what else in future ? Is this a trait I missed ?
Because he's cheating on you dear ?
NTA. GF has become a fake friend. Your role as the whipping girl has to end. How you do it is your decision, but IMO it's best if you just avoid her. No need to have it out with her. That's your decision, though. Last but not least, when you are out drinking with her and she becomes dependent, you become responsible for her safety. Legal issues can be attached if the meeting results in harm to her. Your happiness is what you should be concentrating on because it's what you deserve. Best wishes.
Thank you for your thoughts! No the grad school thing did not come up again
Then yeah you can make it work, if he didn't have many sexual partners I doubt he's a “one way only” for sex, I mean like this is the only way he likes it, more like the only way he knows it. He can rediscover other ways that also gives and brings pleasure. Pretty sure if you stand your ground without judging you guys will converge to something nice over time.
Then yeah you can make it work, if he didn't have many sexual partners I doubt he's a “one way only” for sex, I mean like this is the only way he likes it, more like the only way he knows it. He can rediscover other ways that also gives and brings pleasure. Pretty sure if you stand your ground without judging you guys will converge to something nice over time.
Focus on your school. Decide what to do with him after you complete your school work. That HAS to come first.
So you're telling me that this man has had the same phone for 8+ years?
This is a glimpse into your future with this guy, is this what you want in a relationship?
He will always do this. Accept sexual acts and then blame you for “sins”. And he won't reciprocate anything for you.
He will be a selfish partner that uses his religion against you. It's what he just did and what he'll always do.
Unfortunately you are one of the cases where religious views really are incompatible.
I would end the relationship and move in. He has issues with his religion that he needs to sort out of his own, not with a partner.
Whatever either of them want, the fact is that they know absolutely nothing about whatever children they may bring into this world.
May I ask where you and your bf are from? It sounds pretty typical of a culture that I experienced for a few years and I'm very curious if that's the case.
He's obviously such an asshole and very immature. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. A virtual hug.
Don’t consider… do
Some women do actually enjoy penetration, and you're also allowed to have a preference when it comes to someone's gender and sex. And frankly what OP's bf did is frankly pretty messed up.
What is he selling?
Weed? Whatever. No big deal, depending on where you online.
Pills? Very hot drugs? Yeah, no. Break up with him.
You’re kind of a horrible person but I don’t understand what you’re asking here. Seems like you’re just advertising what a jerk you are.
Break up with her and try (try) not to be cruel when you do.
My dude,
Strangers on the internet can’t answer this for you. If you think this girl is “the one” then take the necessary steps to move close to her and to date and discover more about each other.
You’re an idiot.
I don’t have a better way to put it. Late at night, after taking public transportation and walking home, you pinned your girlfriend to the ground for several minutes while she cried and begged you to stop to prove to her how easy it would be for her to be raped.
Good job in proving to your girlfriend that you can rape her anytime you want.
Pay for a couple counseling sessions for her to get a handle on this trauma.
Get some counseling for yourself to figure out why you want to prove you can rape your girlfriend.
Wow. Yeah he is yuck. This won't end well. I would not tell his wife since nothing has happened yet and you were a little implicit – but I would scare the shit out of him to stop him from trying again with any other girl.
He probably feels like he’s being left behind with all the changes You are probably not the same person he married
He probably needs his own awakening ???
Why bother? Might as well take your time enjoying the day lmao.
Thank you
Helped!
Thank you
Helped!
It sounds like you have already expressed your concerns to your girlfriend about the way she interacts with other men and how it makes you feel disrespected. However, she seems to have a different understanding of what constitutes cheating, and she is not willing to change her behavior.
It is important to remember that everyone has their own boundaries and expectations in a relationship, and what may be acceptable to one person may not be acceptable to another. However, it is also important to communicate openly and honestly about these boundaries and expectations to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
You could try having a more in-depth conversation with your girlfriend about what constitutes cheating to you, and why her behavior makes you feel uncomfortable and disrespected. It may be helpful to provide specific examples of the incidents that have caused conflict in the past.
It is also important to listen to her perspective and try to understand where she is coming from. Perhaps she does not see her behavior as a problem because it does not involve sexual intimacy, but she may not realize the impact it has on you and your relationship.
Ultimately, if your girlfriend is not willing to respect your boundaries and make changes to her behavior, you may need to reassess whether this relationship is right for you. A healthy relationship requires mutual respect, trust, and a willingness to compromise and make adjustments for each other's happiness.
This has been posted before, just slightly changed
Out of curiosity, if it turned out that they were having an affair, would you still be worrying about wether or not you were “allowed” to clearly communicating to him that you dont want him to see her anymore?
They were sleeping together. She, who isnt an actual therapist with the power to do so, diagnosed him with something that makes you feel like you cant have any boundaries because it will trigger him, they used/use psycadelics, massages and touch together in their sessions, she is pushing you both towards being poly.
Are you partially avoiding putting up boundaries because you suspect/fear he wont respect them, and by extention choosing her over you and the babies, and as long as you dont ask you wont have it confirmed and can pretend that its fine?
you making excuses for her, like bro, she cheated because she wanted to and she told you because maybe she felt bad about it, but what does it change? nothing! in the moment she decided to fuck another person and that's what matters. sounds like you just don't want to accept the truth, that's just sad…
I got the appointment set up because it has to be done at 10 weeks. I'll know 3 weeks from today. It was her ex
This isn’t even remotely normal
In 20 years you will be changing his diapers and driving him to chemo visits. You’ll easily be a widow in your 40s or 50s.
For some relationships that’s worth it, because there’s real love. But I don’t see love here, not from his side at least.
He can walk with supportive boot. He fucked up his feet by playing basketball barefoot on the street (like 2 weeks ago), on top of barefoot running, and indoor climbing.
That's probably why his country won't do the surgery, because it's not medically necessary. The way he worded this post makes it sound like he depends on a wheelchair and needs a caretaker. He doesn't.
We’re also only hearing OP’s side so we don’t know anything about the sister and that she’s the sole problem. OP cutting off her sister and not wanting to be involved in anything the sister is apart of, like family holidays and events, puts the parents in a tough spot and it makes them feel like they have to choose. So they are opting to choose neither. Actions have consequences and this is the consequence of OP’s actions.
He clearly made an obvious pass at her. She’s loathe to tell you because she doesn’t really know you, and doesn’t know what he would do possibly to her or you if she told you. She’s probably thinking to herself well I shut that shit down so there’s really nothing to tell her and these people just need to leave me alone and go away. She would have remembered whatever precipitated that series of texts without a doubt. That she used the words ‘she has nothing more to say than what those texts said’ is pretty cagey and telling.
All that unsent business is also very telling. And his story behind it is ridiculous.
if the messages aren’t saying delivered then she’s blocked on the other woman’s end. even if you block someone you can still text them. it only doesn’t deliver if she blocks you
Lol, there's definitely more to this story that you're not sharing.
So I'm gonna say yes, there's something wrong with your behaviour.
Very interesting! I definitely was given zero warnings about it. I know it knocks a lot of people out but sadly doesn’t have that effect on me. It’s prescribed “as needed” & I have about a years supply so I rarely take it, just stupidly refill it every month lol
I think this sort of thing has to do with chemistry. The same person can be very fun when paired with others and be very bored when with others. Then there exists types of people who bring the fun everywhere or suck the joy out of everything.
This shouldn’t have made me burst out laughing but it did. The way I heard it in my brain
My wife and have the largest income disparity that’s possible (she doesn’t work, I do) and we still have individual accounts. Our accounts receive a small, equal portion of my paycheck every week. The rest goes into joint accounts designated for specific purposes.
Just say “I’m no longer interested”
It is concerning to me that the thought of you being a working mom vexes him so. I don’t think any woman should ever give up their career and depend fully on a man. I am not saying he would get abusive, but there are so many women out there right now feeling trapped with someone they want to as they are no longer happy, or abuse started and escalated the more they depended on a man. Just always have a way out. This is something I would NOT compromise on. I would tell him “The man I fell in love with was my biggest supporter and advocate who was always there with me to celebrate my success. Now my future plan is to be BOTH a successful career woman AND wonderful mom and I would appreciate the man I love coming back and being my biggest supporter and advocate once again because I will not settle for a life of anything less.”
If he continues to be mad let him. He will either get over it, or he won’t and you will reach a critical point in your relationship. This is also something you two could take to a couples counselor. He may have some fears or concerns (whatever they may be), or he’s starting to get lured in by watching misogynistic documentaries. Either way you want to deal with it now.
No. Especially at 2:30 in the morning.
Also don't answer the door at 2:30 in the morning.
The thing that comes to mind is it might help to imagine what it must have been like to be raised by her. She had to have done a crazy number on him, so his perception of normal interactions when it comes to her are horribly skewed.
See, here is where I would draw a boundary pretty clearly-no, I am not going to have anal sex with you, I am uncomfortable with it, and I don’t want to be repeatedly pestered into doing something I find painful and even scary. Then, when he inevitably brings it up during foreplay or sex or whatever, full stop of whatever you’re doing, clothes back on, and tell him he killed the mood with bringing up something you find painful.
You could also bring up your punching him in the balls as hard as you can fetish and that wow this sex would be so much better if I could hit your balls super very hot repeatedly and see how receptive he is to that.
Idk and I don't think I ever will just try to keep moving forward.
You only know because you caught him out. He lied to you, he’s cheated on you, and he interacted with her afterwards.
He has no respect for you.
There’s definitely better for you out there. This relationship has run its course, and it sounds like it probably could’ve ended a long time ago. You should be so excited to marry your partner, and you’re not. The why isn’t really important.
Don’t marry someone you’re not thrilled to marry.
Don't send him the link gurl! It ain't gonna change th e fact that he gaslight you, insulted you and lied at you in your own house and home!!!
If she comes crawling back to you because the other guy just pumped and dumped, does that somehow make you think you “won?”
Have some self respect.
I've considered it yes. But if I file for bankruptcy, I'm certain he'll kick me out. I'll be homeless for the time being.
OP have you been to his place during your relationship?