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Look. A normal man who sees that his clumsiness made a bruise on his wife won't try to apologize and act cute, he'll spend at least a week touching you only very gently, double-checking where you are when he gets near, etc. If a normal man sat down and sprained his wife's ankle, I doubt he'd ever sit down on the couch without triple checking that your feet aren't there for the rest of his life.
You need to address the pattern instead of addressing each instance: “you have injured me so many times that my body is nervous to be around you for fear that you will injure me again. You have said in the past that you'll be more careful, but those have been empty promises. What are you going to do about this?” See what he says. Honestly, if it's not a satisfactory response or what he says is fine but he follows it up with 0 changes, I think you should leave him over this. Intent only goes so far. What happens if he injures you permanently one of these days? Is acting cute going to make up for it? If he doesn't even get it together after you address the pattern, he doesn't actually care whether you're injured or not, which is super fucked up. Even a rambunctious dog will learn to be careful if they realize they've caused pain.
Shes after the green card. She learned from her sister’s experience. Proceed with caution.
Its 8pm here
He’s married, end things with him. Simple.
I'm the same way. It's difficult to deal with when you just want to get to the bottom of it, but that's not ideal when people are just giving off vibes of wanting space.
? No way this is real. If it is, I don't blame your mum for saying something. 11 children is irresponsible if it's from different women. There's no way you're going to he able to spend the appropriate amount of time with them for them not to have father figure issues. It's selfish to keep having children.
I 100% agree this is emotional/financial abuse kinda sounds like mail order bride stuff. The only thing that makes me question the reality of this post is no kids. She does EVERYTHING and has no access to credit or debit cards. How does grocery shopping get done (yes I know it's possible to shop live and have it delivered), but if she's taking his shoes off he isn't ordering her grocery list.
Why can't she date someone her own age?
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To be fair, he’s been trying really naked to make it happen since we first started having sex. And maybe ‘inconsolable’ isn’t the right word. He isn’t throwing a tantrum or anything, it just seems to be something that he keeps thinking about and is actively trying to work through but doesn’t know how, since he doesn’t know why he feels this way. On one hand, I want to try to help him get over it but on the other, I’m offended that he feels ‘hurt’ about it to begin with.
You made a mistake telling him how wronged and disrespected he made you feel – BY TEXT. Those kinds of things need to be dicussed face to face, or if that's not possible, by phone.
I don't know what to do next, you seem ambivalent yourself.
Not that I'm aware of, no.
Honestly, it sounds like he might be ace or on the asexuality spectrum and is making it about you rather than about himself. It can be a naked thing to confront, but he needs to deal with his feelings himself rather than lash out at you for shallow reasons.
If you think she cheated, then you will never truly trust her. Your son is happy when you are together but it's only once every two week. Your son will eventually pick up on it.
The options aren't as great as you'd think. But I'll look into it more for sure.
When I had an IUD I was like this but it also made me a mood swing psycho lunatic. I got rid of the IUD and am on the pill now and now it’s opposite. Rare libido.
She is very conscious with every penny. I remember when I worked part time in HS, she would give me 20 min speeches evey week when she sees me spending money for Starbucks or going out with my friends. She wants me to save the money so we can pool it together and buy a house. She doesn't want people looking down at her for being poor.
honestly i’ll admit i’m not 100% sure if she is into me but she has shown a few signs here & there that have me questioning it. for example each time we’ve interacted she has smiled more often with me or whenever either of us leaves, whenever she tells me bye she’ll be like “byeee”. 1 more thing off my head is i work with flowers & this one time not too long ago i was picking bad flowers. she comes up to me & we have a small talk & i joke around. she takes a flower & rips it off & tells me here’s my valentine’s day gift & we laugh & smile. I do it back w a whole bunch as a joke & she made a comment but i couldn’t here her
that being said i totally could see how some girls would be like this cuz they’re just friendly, so this may be her expressing her friendlyness. but i’m just saying how these off the top of my head could at least make me think she may be somewhat into me
I wish when I was younger I had known the power of, “I don't know, should we find out?” When asked if I liked something sexual. I'd have had a lot more fun…
You get to find this all out for yourself, and because you're more mature than most fumbling teenagers- you can lean into the adventure of experimenting with a partner to find out what you do and don't like.
I wish you all joy in those endeavors.
Leave asap
She sounds toxic af
Just edit in your phone and add paragraph breaks. And a tldr. You'll get more input.
she asks after the breakup ? some balls on this bitch.
Dude, quit being a doormat and have some self respect. This is a terrible idea, your wife has no respect for you and is very selfish.
Go talk to a lawyer and get a divorce.
Not telling someone you did public-facing sex work is not “every part of your past”, it's a very relevant and likely to come up again part of your past.
I mean, this feels a bit all over the place. Simply, if you buy the house, you own it, if you split up, he leaves.
In relation to your family and your attitude, this is all questionable. The main thing you want him to buy for the engagement party is expensive jewellery? That’s incredibly materialistic. Your reasoning is because of what your family will think if you don’t? I’m sorry but both you and your family seriously need to re-assess your values in life if you think this is anywhere near the most important thing about an engagement party.
On the other side, I find it questionable that he owns two houses but rents both. Sounds like you need to have a good conversation with him about your life goals and if they actually align. Also, you asked him to buy “something” with you for a much higher value than £900k? You’ve only known each other two years. Even If I were that rich I’d never consider doing that with someone I’ve only known two years.
Dafuq… what?
says hes already slept with her ,and if they both really did sleep together he wouldn't tell me and neither would her.
Crazy batshit. LEAVE, OP!
If it is super important, she will ring you back, or email or text. Don’t ring back and stir up that mud again, you will get depressed and feel like crap after.
Let him learn from his mistakes. Guide him. If he doesn't listen, it's ok. It'll just be another 'told you so' moment.
Yup
There's a big difference between protecting yourself and doing “intensive research” on any guy you meet on Tinder. These men have a right to privacy and you're violating that right without informing them.
First of all, you need to stop thinking “Everything in the relationship is perfect but”.
Everything is far from perfect. This situation is 100% not normal.
You guys need to talk about it. If he's on the defensive and he does not want to improve, it's a HUGE red flag.
Yup, asking was one thing (still not a good idea but whatever) but then not taking no for an answer is a whole other level of wrong.
If this post is real…?????????
If his foster sister is a minor, report that shit.
Dump his ass. I usually don’t see things as black and white, but this is a circumstance where I don’t think there’s much nuance. This is just awful and there’s no arguing that.
Run as far away as humanly fucking possible from this man and don’t look back.
Her understanding the situation is not the problem here, she understand perfectly.
She is tempted
Tell both of your families that if she not choosing you why should you choose her .
There's very high probability that ABSOLUTELY nothing happened on that work trip , since there was a gap of quality communication due to time zone gap she may had some time to be honest with herself that she does not wanted to get married to this early since you are together since 21 and now that everything is great she wants to explore more.
Yes it's very shitty of her to keep you in dark and give you cold shoulder now .You need to start with this during counselling that she needs to own that . Never accept at anytime in this process that you need to ignore your feelings and prioritise her , they are as valid her feelings.
Do not hide from either of family that she wants out and get the marriage annulled as soon as possible.