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I can understand why you are upset. If I was doing it over some people I knew my Mrs would be livid. And likewise, if she was doing it I would be pissed wondering if she actually wanted to have sex with them or does she think about them when we have sex etc.
Thing is, it might take a while for him stop doing it. Feels like it's a bit of a habit and habits are naked to break. How long will you trust him for I wonder?
don't feel stupid (i know it is naked not to blame yourself for missing signs and whatnot) so many of us ride the high of an abusers positive behavior before realizing that what is happening is in fact abuse. first step, file a police report. make sure the incident is documented. take fotos of your injuries and give those to the officer who takes the report. make sure you have a safe place to stay away from him.
he will apologize and try and maintain a positive facade for now, but if he gets you alone again when he is angry, this will happen again. do not allow yourself to be alone with him. violent men kill their partners and this is absolutely a precursor to that kind of behavior. he is manipulative and has been playing a sort of long con on you so that you will focus on the good positive times you had together, you must remind yourself that those times were a part of the pattern of abuse. you wouldn't have married this man and sustained the relationship to this point if the abuse started from the jump. the fact that he used his infidelity as the trigger for a violent beating is indicative that nothing is his fault and he sees you as the one responsible for the cheating. he will continue this behavior.
sending you my love.
Defo. And if he makes excuses why you can’t then there’s more to this “friendship” than he’s letting on.
Your brother is disgusting for two reasons. 1. He sent porn to a child. That is beyond inappropriate and could be considered grooming. 2. He's sharing revenge porn. This Hunter Biden personal attack is so nasty and there was a reason it was taken down, because it's illegal.
I'd never let that creep anywhere near your son again. He could be using politics as a smoke screen for sending the video but my gut says he's lying. Your brother sounds unhinged and is probably a Qnut, is that who you want around your impressionable child?
The culture you're afraid of specifically exists because men (and women) are perfectly comfortable making these types of moves on drunk coworkers. So its incredibly absurd to suggest that because you're (rightfully) concerned about consent means that other people would also be and this situation wouldn't occur the way she suggested.
Coworkers hook up consensually all the time. Entirely possible dude followed her up to try his luck, took advantage to make out a little and cop a feel, and then went “ah this aint worth it” and bounced.
No. It's not normal and being emotionally abusive to a pregnant woman can put the baby at risk, believe it or not.
I’ll give you an example- suicide is considered a crime. You’d think that was stupid right? You’re penalizing someone for mental health issues?
It’s actually a “crime” so that the police are authorized to break down your door because of probable cause if they can’t get to you and they get a warning call from you or someone you called. It’s also so that they can get a judge to sign off on involuntary admission to a psychiatric ward. The person doesn’t usually actually get charged (unless it’s very specific circumstances of other crimes also being committed)
Similarly, CP laws are written in a way to be preventive in case it gets out to others. The minor in question usually won’t get charged, unless there are a lot of other factors (like they are distributing it themselves) etc
This makes no sense. Trans women are not women just because they “identify” as a woman. When I was a child I watched a lot of national geographic and thought I was a lioness for a while. Doesn’t make me a lion.
Have you folks ever stopped to think that maybe just maybe she gets wasted gets screwed with consent from her and then pulls the rape card after she's sober? I understand there's lots of nasty people out there but this may be an excuse. Personally i think he should bail if she won't stop getting into those situations then it's her problem
I think maybe sit and have a conversation about how it makes you feel upset, and explain that had it been the other way around he would likely be upset. Surely he will be understanding, no?
I enjoy practicing!
So very sorry this happened to you and understand why you didn’t say anything then (many can’t) and haven’t said anything to anyone since.
Know you want to support B and his wedding. Just think with this situation with K will overshadow any enjoyment you might have. Find a reasonable excuse for not attending (destination costs, illness, work).
Do think you should have a conversation with B at some point about what happened because you value him in your life. Just don’t think this is the right time, as I’m sure you don’t want to this to be what B is thinking about at his wedding.
She was probably taken to one of those “Lingerie & Sex Toy” parties and got swept up in the excitement of it all.
If I found condoms in my husband’s drawers, then that would be behavior in his current relationship and therefore, would be my business. I’d ask the question but I wouldn’t fly off the handle.
OP’s husband flew off the handle and it wasn’t based on her current behavior. It was based on gossip he got from his sister. He’s called her names and thrown her (exaggerated) sexual history in her face. Yes, communication is key. Demands and abuse aren’t exactly healthy forms of communication.
Well seems there’s emotional support/in jokes etc that he gets from her and not you. My guess is he may find u bossy/demanding at times and she isnt
I was 13 then, he was 21 and he liked me from the start
You have been groomed by a pedo.
He’s cheating on you my friend
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I get that completely about being able to have co workers without cheating. Millions of us do it every day. However, not everyone may think like you, and maybe partner is feeling a little bit wary of your friendship, and I’m in no way saying that it’s right, but that’s maybe the way he feels about it. We all have our insecurities.
I think you may have misread the post. I wanted her to be there, and we left because of outside reasons than what I posted about
This is the best advice here in my opinion, OP
Came here to say this! My fiancé admitted to me he cheated by drunkenly kissing a girl when was 16 who wasn’t his girlfriend, he immediately ended his relationship which he said was only 2/3 weeks in anyway and has never cheated since, he told me on the first date and let me make my own decision, considering it was 15 years ago and it was a one off and he is still friends with the girl he cheated on who also said he was very remorseful and she wasn’t even that bothered
But the fact he still admits to it almost 2 decades later shows he wanted to change
This women does not
This sounds like the missing reasons situation.
He kisses me every time I ask him to? I guess you didn’t see the other comments.
Yes it would be best to break up with a disrespectful partner.
I agree. It’s weird to take a made up story to reddit but that story is weird af hahaa
To acknowledge that she was going through a rough patch at work and STILL speak to her manager to pull her out of work seems so incredibly selfish. Of course she was anxious
I appreciate your kindness! I feel like I’ve exhausted every compromise. Our lease ends in December, and it’s my name primarily. Additionally I think it would be naked to get approved for at least 6mo because I’ve been out of work. We have bought completely separate things but he thought labels would be passive aggressive, so even though we store them in a different drawer they end up getting used. I have tried to champion for myself, organizing roommate meeting with prepared notes that I give to him to proofread so I don’t come off too strong but then the roommates didn’t wanna come out of their room. I’m really at my wits end and I don’t want this to be the end of our relationship. I think we work well together and enjoy each other’s company. but me acting out so horribly has me really doubtful if things could be repaired. I like to think we’re both reasonable people but no matter how many times or how differently I changed my approach of “I can’t keep living like this we need a solution” the magnitude is just not taken seriously
You married a man that faked being a “nice guy” and has taken his mask down once he thought you were trapped. He’s not even trying to hide it anymore.
He’s deliberately letting you hear and see him watch these videos to teach you. A 25 year old doesn’t suddenly switch in a few weeks after listening to these types of videos.
You are there just to be his free slave and servant while he acts like a bachelor.
I’m sorry he betrayed you and tricked you into marrying him. Head straight to divorce.
yes
Oh yeah absolutely, I have a 6yr old as well. I got back with her dad and got pregnant with our 2nd baby I’ve never brought my kids into any relationship I’ve had aside from their dad. My kids is one thing I do not play around with!
If the father doesn’t want the money going to the brother because the brother has been LC/NC for the past how many years then they should act on that now otherwise when the father passes the brother will inherit anyway
A woman that doesn't have sex with the man she is with it is lack of respect for the man. It means that she doesn't respect him and that she doesn't consider him alpha male.
Well, now you know you can’t trust her. With anything. Make your moves based on that particular fact.
You used him for free stuff though. Generally not a good look to keep accepting stuff from someone you've turned romantically.
haha of course, it is apart of the human body 🙂
You put them in this situation by trying to get closer to her bff. You’re so manipulative. It’s honestly unreal. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT CREATED THIS SITUATION. YOU. Your gf didn’t put you in this situation by having a best friend around. She shouldn’t have to end her friendship bc you decided not to have boundaries. This behavior screams narcissist. Create a problem, blame everyone else, sit back and watch the drama unfold, and feed off of all the attention.
I don’t know, I feel like it can be really frustrating to operate assuming everything is fine and be blind sided that your partner has been stewing on frustration for days. Most people wear that emotion to some degree outwardly as well, especially if you’re detached from your emotions and might not realize you’re openly expressing those feelings in an unfair way.
It can also make you begin to question your trust in the state of your relationship and your partners happiness overtime and cause a lot of unnecessary anxiety and turmoil.
In the whole post OP describes why he didn’t bring it up sooner, has he discussed that with his partner (about taking time to come to that realization due to possible detachment?)
Thank you so much for adding stigma to the hellish disorder I deal with everyday. People like you make it so much easier to disclose that I have BPD. I love hearing immediately after “oh isn’t that what serial killers have?” You’re such a smart trained psychiatrist.
Stop learning disorders from TikTok and Reddit and deciding everyone you don’t like has them. I hope you never have to deal with the stigma people with personality disorders do. Literally nothing in this posts reads BPD coming from a person who actually fucking lives it.