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You are doing it out of pity. You want to rub his face into it every time you wear it. He knows you don’t like it don’t make it worse.
False equivocation. Her gathering information about a return would help inform her decision about how to move forward (whether the return was worth pursuing, whether it was even an option, whether she should just keep it, etc). Him finding out about it through getting her a phone she didn't expect is just bad luck, not a miscalculation.
Outright discussing a return with him before even choosing that option doesn't make much sense. This is precisely why couples choose their wedding rings together. Money wasted doesn't offset the desire to “surprise” someone with an expensive gift.
It sounds like he is processing and disappointed, you seem to be taking this very personally lol
men are equally victims of women as women are to men.
Then he goes back into time out. If he has to stay there all day and night, so be it. He will learn. Right now you have conditioned him that screaming and tantruming works eventually, which means he will go until it works. That means that you have to wait it out even longer. If it means taking a full day, then it means taking a full day. Right now he needs a tech detox – take away the iPad for a few days and deal with the tantrum. If you don’t get this right asap, it’s going to get worse until you have no chance at combating it.
You’re young! You’ll have time to fall in love again! In the mean time just focus on your well being & mental health!! the relationship was done & he’s made his choice he’d rather be with her. Block him & ignore him if he reaches out.
I tell my husband to ‘suck my dick’ in silly arguments. I’m a woman.
It’s what banter you find acceptable. If you don’t like it, it’s okay to say so.
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She called a bunch of places pretending to be OP to get financial information. Intentions aside, I would be pissed off beyond belief if someone pretended to be me, for any reason at all.
true. i stopped all contact and he would come over to my desk and say hello or text me he saw my car (lol) and shit like that. he wished me a merry christmas lol.
we started school together and first day he wanted to see me and he just kept interacting with me it was awful. but again i asked to talk and hes like woman i have a lot to do.
i stoped and he continued.
idk if its just me but in december i had to help him with some things and he said his mom asks about me and all this stuff. i asked if he wanted to go for coffee and again he said he would let me know
he wished me a merry christmas and i havent heard from him since lol
Honestly questioning if his SO even has depression, I think she’s just taking him for a ride
This is the truth. Simply being “nice” on a shallow level does not make someone a good person. You have to be good on other levels too. She is AWFUL to OP on many levels.
A relationship is a partnership, you are building a life together. She is not contributing to that partnership. She’s simply taking your work and building her own easy life.
Outwardly she seems nice, but in the end she’s a cruel and selfish person.
That’s the first thing I thought of. It’s winter – my legs are only shaved when necessary.
wyze cam is like $30 , super easy to set up, you can plug it into a usb power bank and hide that just about anywhere.
No, this isn’t a fairytale you don’t know when it’s right and there’s no “meant to be” imo. There’s no magical feeling where one knows. You work for it to be right. I think doubt is normal, but when you feel that you have to decide for yourself if this is the relationship you want and if you want to work for it. It’s rather normal to question your future you should be. Is this what I want in life? What do I see my future looking like etc. those are normal questions to ask yourself so you need to answer those for yourself.
Agreed. I need to talk to her ASAP. And yeah she is a bit shitty because she doesn't cheat but talks about the guys who still have feelings for her. And some of those guys also have girlfriends so it's fucked up. And no, they barely see each other. He travels a lot and wasn't in the city for over a year.
I will talk to him as well. I agree with the bro/girl code and I feel bad but it's something the three of us should discuss.
Was I supposed to tell her when we started texting or when he asked me out?
Agreed
That last edit is heart breaking. If people are telling you you have to be okay with their lifestyle, fuck them. There's a difference between an open relationship and how they treated you. Any parent that ignores their kid's panic attack deserves to never be contacted again, frankly. And it's not like this distance happened overnight, it sounds like they just NEVER tried to bridge this gap with you again. Because of they wanted to bridge the gap they would put a pause on things and care for you.
Your problem isn't that they have an open relationship, your problem is that they repeatedly prioritized their sex life over you. Your entire childhood.
I think your disgust for them is in how they treated you, and people telling you that you need to be okay with polyamory are just not seeing that. They hurt you deeply, and as an adult now I bet your couldn't give a flying fuck what their bedroom life is like, but while you were struggling as a kid right after thinking your mother was cheating in public (do neighbours know? Are you your father's kid? Do people catch them and then not tell you? This changes things when you appear to cheat so PUBLICLY your child sees) they didn't help you and wouldn't put their dating and fucking on the backburner to reorient their family with you.
Don't let them at your wedding. What the hell did they contribute to your relationship? A coffee or lunch is the most I would see them for just to say, I'm getting married. Oh and therapy.
Hon I cannot stress to you how much of a non issue this is.
He wrote a cute little love letter that had a bit of cheek in it- it was cute. It wasn't your last letter before heading off to war- the stakes are not that high.
If this was enough to make you stumble onto this current track of thought I think you need some time to be single.
Why do you care so much about what he did before you?
Has she told you she has an eating disorder or are you piecing this together?
She told me “i have problems eating sometime” and not “i have an eating disorder”. As well as the stories about her ex (Like him making her feel bad in front of friends because she was suggesting snacks for a friends evening and worse stuff which i wont mention).
I would keep any eating disorder-related conversations far away from weight and body shape.
Makes sense. Your advice is really appreciated, thanks
Sounds like you’re happy so I wouldn’t worry about it much…
At the end of the day, this is a real exercise in trust. You certainly have a right to feel some sort of way about it, but it also sounds he’s being very up front with you about the situation and their history, so that should give you some level of re-assurance.
It also sounds like he has acknowledged your feelings that you’ve communicated with him, and is trying to be sensitive about it. You’re in a new three month relationship, and at this juncture I think it’s unfair to be asking someone to cut off a long-term friendship with someone based solely on their history.
Take some time to hang with them both and see the nature of their relationship in-person, and go from there. You may find that despite their history, it’s clearly a platonic relationship with no romantic or sexual chemistry. Alternatively, you may find that it’s weird and uncomfortable and validates your concerns. But you won’t know until you see it firsthand.
Bottom line: this is a new relationship and a point where you can really learn an important part of your boyfriend and it can go in either direction. But don’t predicate it on “what ifs” and observe it firsthand then decide.
Yeah that's what is getting me. This isn't a good thing to be so naked and cold.
This is like the last guy I went out with who told me he was falling for me 4 days in, I backed out real fucking quick. I know how that shit ends (stalking).
Wow I think this is the other side of a post the guy did here. If so, lots of new info
Well are you ok with marrying him, if so are you willing to wait for the wedding for sex?
IVF is very expensive – around $13-$15 thousand per cycle.
And not just in the USA – Ontario, Canada only covers one cycle per woman per lifetime.
And 2/3rds of the time, it takes more than once cycle (this depends on age).
You want to skip ahead and show up for all the feel good daddy daughter wedding stuff like everything’s fine. It’s not. You’re a selfish person. She had a very normal reaction to you dating a minor. Might as well wish all of us hadn’t been born, because skimming through the comments I haven’t seen one person feel bad for you yet. She’s better off without you. I’d say leave her alone, but you’ll do whatever the hell you want. Big surprise there.
My (24M) gf (22F) doesn’t feel “motivated” to do more around the apartment because I don’t “contribute enough” financially.
Don't undersell yourself – you also don't contribute enough in the way of housework or being a decent partner.
That’s true and I recognize that. I just can’t help but feel bad about it.
I'd say it's not unreasonable to ask, it's unreasonable to push if the answer is no. He didn't push, he broke up with her because this isn't something he's willing to compromise on, which is fair enough imo because its more of a compatability issue.
Yours is a typical case and why porn sites are filled with amateurs video of couples (former) having sex. With high likelihood, your video n nudes will be leaked out to internet permanently especially after a nasty breakup. If you are okay with that, then its okay. If you arent ok with that, you are in serious trouble with this dude. You have been warned.
Yea, that’s where my thoughts go too…
OP,
My first thought is that somehow he doesn't want anything posted about you and him on any social media sites is because he is in a relationship with someone else at the same time as you. If you posted a picture of the both of you and his other GF finds it she will dump him.
Move on, block him and don't look back.
Based on comments, I’m surprised his girlfriend didn’t leave earlier. Insufferable.
Honestly, I know a lot of people think this is fine or think people that aren't okay with it are jealous but I have been the girl who didn't think anything of it until I met a man who said to me about how disrespectful it is and once he said that I haven't been able to not think that whenever I start speaking to a guy who does follow those types of accounts.
I don't care is someone watches porn, but when you are in a relationship with someone I do think it is disrespectful to essentially tell other people you are attracted to them by following and liking those types of posts because I personally see liking those types of posts as reaching out or sending a sign of interest.
Of course, everyone finds other people attractive whether single or in a relationship, but it is whether they act on it or flirts with the other people that makes the difference.
I also did have a more risky photos at one point and I actually deleted them after people I knew who had girlfriends began liking them. I found it creepy and gross that they would do that, and disrespectful to their girlfriends.
I think him liking and following these pages is not a reflection of you or how you look. I think it's a reflection of disrespect on his part that he couldn't even stop doing that when he became committed to someone – as though it is an addiction or something. It is an easy fix and he can look at as much porn as he wants but why would he want other people knowing who he fancies when he is meant to in a committed relationship :/
Yeah, because begging me for a date every time you see me isn’t a crush. He said he just wanted one date so he can show a different side of himself and get to know me but he definitely have a crush on me , nope
You completely neglected to think about how she broke a boundry. Instead you decided to shame and dunk on him, and invalidate his feelings.
I appreciate you input. Did you read n7? She enjoys the idea of making him jealous. I don’t know why she feels like this. It really bothers me because it makes me feel like she’s not over him.
First, you haven't cheated
Second, just tell your gf exactly what happened and hope for the best
OMG. Look at you. So cool. So clever. So relaxed. Tell us your secret, how do we get to be as amazing and inspiring as you?
He has trauma from being blocked from girls/me in the past.
It may not seem like it, and maybe he’s doing it subconsciously, but this is a manipulation tactic.
When you block somebody, it’s because they’re doing too much and won’t leave you alone. They’re not respecting your boundary, so you block to protect your boundaries. Him saying he has trauma from it is playing the victim card big time — he’s making people that block him seem like the villain when he’s clearly not respecting them.
You’re not a bad person if you block him. You’ve made it clear that you don’t want to talk, and he won’t respect that. He still keeps talking about dreams of getting married and all that. Tell him one final time. Tell him that the relationships over, and you need to cut contact. If he doesn’t leave you alone, you won’t hesitate to block him if he doesn’t stop texting you.
How does this not scream troll to you?
No, neither of you are in the wrong here.
Yes. You should get your sleep.
And yes, it's a shit feeling to know that your partner doesn't want to share a bed with you.
Have you tried to go to bed earlier? If you know you need 8 hours of sleep. And you are being woken up at 6am. Can't you get to bed by 10pm or earlier?
Now you're just making shit up.
He's not that into you. He's still fooling around and checking out his options. Why is he with you? You're his back up option.
You need to learn how to respect yourself. When a partner behaves like trash, learn to walk away. Don't let him have the benefits of the gf AND fool around. He can go back to his single life and have fun on his own.
I advise you block, delete and move on. Raise your dating bar by not entertaining garbage men too long. Don't let him get in your head. Stand your ground and leave. You got this ?
is this “wife” in the room with us right now randomwhitedude37? lmfao
Men think they're golden when they're in the 40s and 50s, totally disregarding their balding heads and beer guts. Y'all are not George Clooney, I promise you.
Anyone who uses terms like “sexual market value” is advertising the fact that he's been duped by that weird internet cabal of idiot teenaged misogynists.
I’m relieved it would have “changed things anyways”. That said, your choice of language continues to downplay how truly appalling her attitude is.
I think she reacted the way she did because she’s one of those people who only have empathy for people they can directly relate to. Once you made it relate to her directly, she was finally as horrified as the rest of us are. But instead of directing her ire at the abusers, she aimed it at you for making her see that someday, she could go from apologist to victim.
But frankly—I don’t give a shit. She’s cool with dudes sexually abusing children and then sharing video for others to get off to. I hope she spends every minute of the rest of her life in terror for her child. Because if others think it’s no big deal the way she does, her kid is their target. And she still doesn’t actually get it.
Yeah the other videos were things like weird scenes from regular movies so nothing illegal but that can look bad out of context. I am not friends with Y and I don't think X is now either.