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That's really off the wall. But if you try to intrude in her relationships you are going to be winding yourself up and either end up in a fight or with charges against you. Walk away from the idea that you can control that and you will be in a better place.
Course, that doesn't mean you don't do everything in your power to get your kids. Including getting full custody if you think there is a danger to your kids.
Congratulations on the update! The world is yours. Go for it (responsibly).
They might online in a very permissive state like VT or CA (?) but yeah that’s not how the US looks right now.
He can change how he treats you, but you can't change your past
It sounds like she cheated, op needs to move on
I will take back the statement on the teenager part I was reading through a lot of the comments and realized that was when you first started dating. Still yikes! And still immature.
He prefers screen sex. He will likely grow out of it but if you don't want to wait, you don't need permission to go.
Don’t. She knows.
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I'm so sorry you went through that. Two horrible events happening all in one night is a lot to deal with. My advice is to not act impulsively. Get counseling for yourself and her. You probably need some individual counseling as well to address the assault. She probably needs individual for her drinking problem and her grief over the baby. You need marriage counseling to discuss what happened and if you can rebuild your marriage.
After some time has passed and you have time to think through the implications of divorcing her or staying, you will be able to make a better choice.
Trust has certainly been lost, but it doesn't mean you can't work through it. People have done it. You also have the freedom to walk away since she very clearly cheated on you. But it's YOUR decision. Don't let others influence you either way.
I'm so sorry you went through that. Two horrible events happening all in one night is a lot to deal with. My advice is to not act impulsively. Get counseling for yourself and her. You probably need some individual counseling as well to address the assault. She probably needs individual for her drinking problem and her grief over the baby. You need marriage counseling to discuss what happened and if you can rebuild your marriage.
After some time has passed and you have time to think through the implications of divorcing her or staying, you will be able to make a better choice.
Trust has certainly been lost, but it doesn't mean you can't work through it. People have done it. You also have the freedom to walk away since she very clearly cheated on you. But it's YOUR decision. Don't let others influence you either way.
I'm so sorry you went through that. Two horrible events happening all in one night is a lot to deal with. My advice is to not act impulsively. Get counseling for yourself and her. You probably need some individual counseling as well to address the assault. She probably needs individual for her drinking problem and her grief over the baby. You need marriage counseling to discuss what happened and if you can rebuild your marriage.
After some time has passed and you have time to think through the implications of divorcing her or staying, you will be able to make a better choice.
Trust has certainly been lost, but it doesn't mean you can't work through it. People have done it. You also have the freedom to walk away since she very clearly cheated on you. But it's YOUR decision. Don't let others influence you either way.
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My son is two months while my daughter is six she lives with me full time
It’s not necessarily life long sweetie; that’s what divorce is for. Good luck
Wait. You’re still dating even though you’re married?
Cute and precious will only hold your interest for so long. You’re already concerned and you’re just dating. Imagine living together with nothing to talk about. Also would she start eventually not wanting you to “waste time” on these things? You say she never would but you really have no idea honestly
I appreciate your perspective and comment. I think having a very open and honest conversation is obviously the next step, all detail included. I feel like it would be disrespectful to her to not have the whole picture laid out. I do appreciate trying to have the conversation in a gentle nature and yes, I don’t really know what I want. Thank you for your comment
You definitely should have planned this for a day off. Taking her out of work when she is having issues probably made it really very hot for her to relax.
You two need couple’s therapy.
I hope you don’t feel like everyone’s just piling on. It seems you’ve come here to genuinely learn and be better. I think just start at apologizing and let the chips fall where they may. We all make mistakes
Choices and rights stop when it runs over somebody else’s bodily autonomy.
Whoever is carrying the pregnancy chooses to terminate or not. There’s a lot of complications, but at it’s core there’s a simple core right that nobody has control over another’s body and medical decisions.
Had something like this happen with my friend, he left the condom behind and that was a big mistake. It happens and I don’t blame him for wanting nothing to do with the baby. When it comes to advice, get a lawyer and find out if the kid is actually his. Once that’s done you can take the next steps
I read that as acceptance that he can only accomplish anything against her when she is playing under extremely unfavorable conditions, and hes saying that was the strongest game he ever played in his life, while she was extremely sick, and he only managed a draw. Lmao how did you read it as bragging? Also I dont think the falling asleep was an actual game, hes just saying that would be the only way for him to get a technical win, her running out of time from falling asleep.
Internet mom here. The only thing worse than throwing away 3 years is adding another day to this relationship. Getting married is not going to fix this. It will probably get worse. Touch matters. A lot. Is this really what you want for the rest of your life? You can’t go into a marriage with the expectation that he will change. Either accept him exactly as he is or move on.
It’s click bait. It’s absolutely clickbait. And you know it’s click bait when the top comment says “get a divorce” and OP responds “I guess that’s the option that makes most sense”.
Stop feeding the trolls
Oh yeah, I can see what a great catch he is! Guess you’re stuck since he’s not changing. Give it a few more years and all that “love” will be gone, gone, gone. Because you don’t love him, you love the man you thought he was in the beginning, but that man was a fake. He is who he is now. But I do wish you well, I’m sorry he’s turned out to be so awful.
It sounds like she changed when your son was born? Is it possible she had PPD?
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds awful.
But I can’t help thinking that this is such a recent change. Something happened to make her so angry. And it’s not just you – her family is noticing it too.
Whatever's going on with her, she needs therapy. Especially if you don’t trust your son with her. I hope she’s willing to get help for all of your sakes.
“ Not interested “ She may ask you to elaborate… Your response : “ no thanks “ And also… being set up is uncomfortable for me. No thank you, please. Thanks, bye.
It hurts now but it’s better to find out before kids are involved. I’ve never once regretted leaving my cheating ex. He reached out to me three years later and nothing felt better than hitting that block button, leaving him on read. You’ll make it. Betrayal feels like being gutted. Just get in therapy for the trust issues you’ll have and take some time to heal. You won’t regret leaving the cheater after some space from the situation. She chose to ruin the marriage.
I needed that thing to be deleted, she just changed her bio last night on that account. Maybe she hasn’t moved on fully from me.
I am so sorry you are going through this,there is absolutely no excuse for cheating. It sounds like you have checked out of this relationship. Before you found out was he a constant disappointment, not reliable, not grateful and taking you for granted? Were tou expecting it, did he exhibit any suspicious behaviour,has he done it before? I am sorry for all the questions, I am just trying to brain storm with you maybe you could find your answer in one of those questions. I qm also thinking that maybe because you have been his rock for a very long time you endured alot so it toughened you up. again I am so sorry, you deserve love, and loyalty, my heart goes out to you, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you pull through, you are very strong and brave.
Ohh he pulling that card, my ex wife isolated me so I can talk to her if I want.
He making a fool out of you, and if they ain't already meeting to fuck they are on there way there.
Sit him down and lay all the cards on the table and stick to it say.
I'm very uncomfortable with you talking to a women you use to be intimate with, I've also seen that messages have been deleted as I looked before you offered so I know that your talking about sometimes you don't want me to see,
I don't care if you don't like me looking through your phone, I wouldn't have too if you was trust worthy.
I'm giving you two choices, stop all communication with her block and delete her number, or I will block and delete you..
If he still refuses says he can have friends yada yada he not doing anything wrong,
Then end it.
Become there having an affair… and on there way if they haven't already to having a physical one.
So tell him that and if he don't you need to walk away because that means your relationship isn't as impossible as this old married women
Stealthing behavior for sure!
Should I tell him I read it? Or should I just end things
Thank you for your reply 🙂 I will support him no matter what
This ain't build a *****, you don't get to pick and choose.
You really need to look inward to find out why it bothers you as much as it does. You also might want to look in there to understand why you'd blow up a marriage over it.
Did you expect that when you got married you could change the aspects of him you didn't like? .
I always thought it was unwise to have a joint account before marriage, because your protections legally against the other person draining it and leaving you with nothing are almost non-existent. If you divorce, and someone has done that, the judge will order them to return a portion of the money to you. If you're not, unless there is some kind of written contract (or verbal if you can get a recording or messages proving it) you can get the courts to enforce, you're screwed.
That’s one hell of a weather report
I would have a truthful conversation with him. In that conversation you’ll need to be willing and emotionally able to break up things with him. Tell him how much you love him, how much you think he’s being abused and how you’re getting the short end of the stick by just being the complement he needs. That you’d be willing to have a monogamous relationship with him but if he’s not willing or ready, then that’s goodbye and you wish him well in his move. Then go full NC.
19 is a grown up physically. You need to find one mentally too.
You’ve been on one date.
You won’t have another if you start policing her wardrobe.
Don’t worry about what she wears or who sees it, just be happy to be the one she takes it off for.
Yep time to break up