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He found out because she told him of her own volition lol. Why would she do that if she was trying to be sneaky?
All I'm saying is a general comment that it's good to talk to people Before we make major decisions
That's not Normal. I would be careful with her
Because he didn't tell me til after I saw the messages when he left his fb logged in on my laptop
“…multiple partners and their friends” ??? How many times could this have possibly happened to you?
Gas lighting is when you INTENTIONALLY lie about something that happened in order to make your partner doubt their sanity or their ability to remember properly.
What you did was different .
I was recently in a similar situation, but I wasn't as hesitant as you. We saw eachother in secret several times over the course of 3 months. She was telling me she was in love with me. The whole 9 yards. Then she all of a sudden one day said she needs to stick it out with her husband but we should stay friends. Now I just feel like a piece of shit for getting involved with her in the first place. I would never entertain the thought of starting something with a married woman again. Let her go, and if she comes back single then think about it.
This is exactly why my wife and I don’t buy each other gifts. We just exchange cards.
Are you okay????
Literally take your phone, go outside and call the police.
Tell them what happened and tell them you need them to take him in or at least let you gather your things safely.
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Bitch boy
Wait, maybe this is a match.
If I could upvote this more. Alas I don't have any awards to gift either.
Should have broken up with her in front of all your friends.
He's not the one. Your instincts are right and it is a big deal that he didn't drive you to the hospital or come to visit you. You are in a complicated situation with you being dependent on him for logement. I would start making plans to either go back home or find your own place to on-line. Don't inform him of your plans, make sure you have everything figured out before you make a move. He showed you his true color, the rest isn't important, don't fall for the lovebombing. You aren't in love with him because he hasn't showed his true self until now.
If you're not bi, you're not bi. It's one thing to experiment with something you don't really care for to please your partner, but it wouldn't be fair to the other woman if you're not into her. If you feel like things are unequal you can offer to explore a different fantasy of his but if he was into the MMFs too he may not feel the same imbalance.
So what do you think? Should I keep chasing after her and try to make it work? Or move on completely
If it’s inappropriate with a straight man, then it’s inappropriate with a gay man.
The point isn’t “well he’s not going to fuck her, so it’s fine”, it’s “he kissed her and posted a picture of it, and that’s crossing the line in and of itself”. And she let it happen.
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about this, if you feel that you can't trust her and that she's violating boundaries then break up. IMO, she lied by omission and didn't tell you because she doesn't care, and you are the one overreacting. I personally would have a problem with it but I'm married and my husband wouldn't disrespect me like that, and he also wouldn't change in front of other women.
I think you need to tell your GF that your friend will have a bandage in place out there by the surgeon and it cannot be easily removed for her to show you her new boobs. Perhaps that’s why she’s so weirded out by this.
I think regardless, you need to help your friend. Or worst case, ask one of your friends to help her. Introduce them before hand so she’s comfortable. Or introduce her to your GF beforehand and ask your GF to either come with you or pick her up on her own.
Why do you keep saying “because of snapchat”?
She moved your underwear out of the drawer? That is such weird behaviour. What did your partner say about that?! There is no reasonable explanation for that… he needs to ask her about that and set boundaries.
I don’t have any worthwhile advice. I just want to say a slowed down relationship with someone who genuinely seems kind and into you seems great for you. Good luck.
Well, not knowing either of you or seeing any of your fights firsthand, that may or may not be true. A part of being in a relationship is hearing out what the other person has to say and considering their words thoughtfully. Ask her if she could give you some examples of those things that you've done so you can learn from it. Look into gaslighting on your own and be honest with yourself when evaluating whether you may be acting that way unintentionally.
Remember, gaslighting isnt simply disagreeing with someone. If you really think about it with an open mind and truly dont believe that you're being that way, you should end it bc one of two things is true: either you are manipulative and you need to take some time to work on yourself OR your gf is the manipulative one spitting out popular buzzwords to make you doubt yourself.
You don't need to make it right. You did nothing wrong. Best of luck to you.
Dang, already deleted. The hallmark of the OP who just wanted selfish validation, not reality.
I think he is exhausted. I don't know how long ago the suicide attempt happened but I also assume he was working and taking care of a kid while you were recovering and taking some care of you. He probably feels he can't complain to you cause you had it worse. Especially as the pressure is on men to be good husbands and fathers in the last few years. There are a lot of posts saying you shouldn't give positive feedback when the husband does laundry for example cause it is a thing everyone should do already.
I went through a similar thing when my sister was going theough chemo. Ask him if maybe now he needs some help or rest.
End the relationship. Now. This boy is a failure of a partner.
Sounds like she has a sex addiction or something. Sex twice a day and still needing more? She's going to have to work through her issues but you probably should not stay around unless you feel like you can forgive this immense breach of trust.
Look, if you have 3 kids, there’s a very high chance she’s touched out. She’s physically and mentally exhausted. When was the last time you guys took time away as a couple to reconnect? What’s going on at home with chores, cooking, caring for the kids? All of this adds up and if she’s not being stimulated mentally and emotionally, the physical aint gonna happen.
You’re trying to make magic happen so kudos for trying but without knowing what she’s thinking, you’re never gonna overcome this. Get some therapy and see if you can get to the bottom of it.
I very much doubt you’re an 8. He was being complimentary.
There has got to be a place in between letting yourself get beaten up and blacking while beating the shit out of someone. I can’t blame the gf for being scared of him.
As someone who has trauma from violent family members, I can understand how she feels unsafe after seeing you like that.
This is a trauma response and I am sure she is struggling. Maybe you can suggest some therapy together, to worj through this?
He watched you get fucked by 4 different guys, he may have said it was ok to do but that was probably to make you happy. Maybe it wasn’t exactly what he wanted and or when it started and he saw what he saw it disturbed him so when he sees u he thinks of that moment.
Gonna be honest- if she doesn't see a problem then she will 100% do it to you. Even if she wanted to be different for you specifically, she'd be, you know, different.
Often times women are told by their partner that they don’t want to get married and then they break up and the partner gets married. It’s quite possible it has more to do with her fighting emotions that she’s not good enough as opposed to crying over the ex.
Then talk to her!?!?!? Why are you incapable of taking advice? Lmao just break up with her if you can’t get over it. Don’t waste both of your times lol. If you’re hellbent on assuming the worse, then just do it.
You make a very valid point I have been dismissing and didn’t realise: my emotions aren’t being addressed. I’ve been so focused on his side that I’ve started ti neglect mine.
I am not too anxious about it, frankly. I don’t claim to have a too deep of a connection to him, after all it’s been 3 weeks.
However, I do also have tendencies to suffer from mono phobia (fear of being alone) and this has in the past contributed to my making of poor decisions regarding relationships.
This is how I feel currently. I’m anxious, not about him having feeling for his ex – this is understandable given the circumstances – but I’m rather anxious at the thought of loosing the connection/companionship that’s keeping my insecurities at bay ?
I’ve just realised this is also not the greatest reason to be in a relationship with someone but I have addressed my phobia and I in fact do on-line on my own and try to be mindful of this when making important decisions.
I’m going to meet them both of course. I’m evaluate the situation and pay close attention to my feelings as much as theirs.
🙂
Update
I think you take your own advice. Defo need to learn how to get a better reading comprehension, because there is no shape of form any indication of me blaming her for getting raped. I will not apologise for something I haven't done. With my line “you both suck”, I am not basically blaming her, that's something you made up in your mind nor did I ever compare. I treat the 2 things as 2 separate things, you're shitty for cheating and you're even shittier for being rapist hence why they both suck, of course one person sucks more as I pointed out.
That doesn’t matter. Some people just get a thrill from doing it at all. Watch the show on MTV. What you’re describing is classic catfishing.
I guess you missed the part where he rifled through her things and STOLE them. She could actually call the cops on him if she wanted to. He can buy his own damn women’s clothes to do god-knows-what with, but he chose not to do that.
Dude…
Judging by the comments, OP will forever be thinking that anything Mike says or does will be about or for her. She's delusional and believes that a crush and love is the same thing. Mike and Mariah could be married with kids and OP will still believe herself to be “the one that got away”.
I love this answer. A lot of us can agree that OP has a reasonable expectation, but some people will never see or understand that POV no matter how well you explain it to them. All you can do is walk away and accept that you didn’t mean as much to your partner as you thought you did. Him changing the goalpost and disrespecting the terms of your relationship proves that.
He needs a doll. Or he needs to go to beauty school. Hi molding is cringeworthy.
Because she’s 40.
Get a divorce.
Doesn’t sound like this is the relationship for you. It isn’t ick, it’s incompatibility. ?
OP, you are not obligated to sacrifice your own authentic life and future happiness to ensure that your BF can stay happy. You won't ruin his life by telling him you're ready to end it, in fact just the opposite is likely to happen: he'll finally learn that in fact, life goes on after a breakup, and you weren't The One after all. You will be setting him free to start over in his new community, and find someone to date there instead of pining away for his long-distance lost love. Of course it would be unfair to him to stay with him when you consider it settling – and, of course, it would be terribly unfair to you as well. You matter in this equation, too.
Love alone is not enough to sustain a healthy relationship. You are still very young, but you've already grasped that he is not what you are looking for in a long-term partner. The kindest thing you can do for him now is to tell him that, and then break off contact so he can't sweet-talk you into changing your mind again. Stay strong, OP, and do the right thing for yourself AND for your soon-to-be ex!
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So my fwb and I hooked up and we had a very intimate session. We basically made love. We also said I love you to each other for the first time. We both said we wanted to date each other and he even asked me when I was free so we could meet again. But he blocked me right after on everything. I am so confused.
Do it about half an hour before the race. Too close to start and she probably will ignore most messages in order to get ready for the run. Give her just enough time to process there’s something wrong but not enough to read through all the “evidence” when she’s supposed to be getting “in the zone.” Half an hour before race they’re getting in line and trying to do all the last minute stuff before start but she can still read messages. Turn your phone off because she'll be trying to call you (probably in a panic). Just make sure you’re out of the house before she gets back.
You do have a point…..?