With all due respect, the obvious question now is why didn't you just log into that account and repost it to other subs? Instead you made a new one and copied the post word for word. That looks hella sus….. I along with the rest of the reddit community have NO WAY of verifying if what you say is true. Thus, this looks like you are just stealing someone's post and manipulating karma.
He hasn't actually taken them right? This is a hypothetical situation that may or may not happen in the future, and I think you may need to reign in your anxiety over this.
If he takes steroids, then OK, you have a decision to make. But as it stands he's not taken anything, and breaking up with someone you love because of something they've not actually done feels a bit… extreme.
Yeah, you have every right to meet her before deciding anything. Look at her social media of she has those. Ask about her work, her home life, what she’s been doing the last six years. Ask if this would be a one time thing.
If you’re comfortable with it at some point and she agrees, maybe you introduce them and simply say she’s an old friend who happens to be in town or a distant cousin. She may just need to see that your daughter is happy and loved, and that will be enough for her. Or maybe she becomes the distant cousin who visits every couple of years and sends birthday and Christmas presents.
Assuming bio mom is in a good place in her life, it seems to me that at some age, once your daughter is old enough to really understand adoption, it would be reassuring to her to know that her bio mom cared enough to check up on her and make sure that the daughter was ok, and that you’re ok with your daughter having some kind of relationship with her
The act of cuddling alone-not necessarily cheating, it could be seen as a friend comforting another friend. Once you make it a secret-then it becomes something taboo-which can cross boundaries into shady behaviour- which can be seen as cheating. Tell your wife especially if it’s nothing untoward
Your husband and your friend are together. They've obv tried to make you look like the bad one and end the marriage and since that didn't work your husband is ending your marriage whilst using your being tainted in his eyes as an excuse and it's a very lame one.
Gather proof seek legal advice get all your ducks in a row and ensure you walk away from your cheating lying disgusting ex with everything you deserve.
He had to throw everything away (furniture included) and basically start over. Had to even bring in a guy to strip the paint off the walls, deep clean them and repaint
I’d say that if he’s sending mixed signals constantly like this and causing romantic feelings that he’s not reciprocating, you need to start putting distance between you and him. He is a flaky person who’s too cowardly to ever make a solid commitment to a relationship. If you wait on him you’ll be waiting forever.
Ok so I can relate to this post quite a bit, but I did leave and go on to have a family with someone else.
Before I get absolutely flamed, my ex-husband had a fatigue condition and severe depression and changed his mind about having kids after he became unwell (which is fair enough). After much soul searching and a long course of therapy I decided to leave as I was absolutely desperate to fulfil my dream of having kids and I knew I couldn’t be happy and continue supporting him if I missed out on my dream. I knew it would lead to resentment and the relationship would fail anyway. Also his depression caused a major personality change in him and I found him increasingly unpleasant, sometimes to the point of cruelty.
I met someone else and now have my beautiful little family and my ex moved on too with someone else and I think we are both in a better place. I felt horrendous guilt at the time, but I will never regret my decision to pursue my own well-being and happiness.
my feelings would also be hurt if my partner didn’t trust me enough to share this info sooner but it sounds like she didn’t want you to look at her differently before getting to know her
Most people have friends like this, especially when they're contacts from way earlier in life and we've kind of gone our separate ways (not seeing each other at school every day). You can always decide to no longer consider this person a friend. Or you can get busy with other friends, perhaps people you know from more recent periods in your life.
Lol nah stuff like this just stresses me out , I’m literally a one conversation person and if I behavior doesn’t change I’m out , when it comes to this kinda stuff.
Thanks. It’s my business in as far as I’d think she’d mention she looking around for other guys since we’ve been spending so much time together. Sorry not to clarify that. The reason we’re not ‘officially’ together is because it actually it broke quite badly before and both of us have agreed to keep it like this. Maybe that’s naive but I was thinking of trying again to ask her out but now my trust is shot
It also makes me feel like he is disregarding my feelings and trauma
That’s because he is. It shouldn’t take 5 years worth of telling someone over and over again that they are making you uncomfortable, especially if they care so much about you and respect you so much. Then when you protest, he pushes back and tells you it’s not a big deal and that basically finds what makes you uncomfortable to be “hot”.
If he hasn’t listened in the past 5 years, and even diminishes your feelings about it by calling it “no big deal” that should speak volumes to you about him.
If he can support strangers, he can support you doing the same thing too.
It's something she'll never know.
yeah but at some point ur ready to get piped down by another man
Honestly, you sound like a raging alcoholic, abusive bitch that can’t take responsibility for her own actions.
Homeboy should file a restraining order and GTFO.
He ain’t lying….. the looks lore you in and the personality/character seal the deal!
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This is the most on point description of an open relationship.
well i agreed with it at first but now i think we should put him in daycare and she works but she doesn’t trust strangers with our son
With all due respect, the obvious question now is why didn't you just log into that account and repost it to other subs? Instead you made a new one and copied the post word for word. That looks hella sus….. I along with the rest of the reddit community have NO WAY of verifying if what you say is true. Thus, this looks like you are just stealing someone's post and manipulating karma.
Thank you. I crossed a line that never should have been crossed in the first place.
Dump him. No one should waste any time with a misogynist.
He hasn't actually taken them right? This is a hypothetical situation that may or may not happen in the future, and I think you may need to reign in your anxiety over this.
If he takes steroids, then OK, you have a decision to make. But as it stands he's not taken anything, and breaking up with someone you love because of something they've not actually done feels a bit… extreme.
Im confused. What made you stick around for this long already?
Yeah, you have every right to meet her before deciding anything. Look at her social media of she has those. Ask about her work, her home life, what she’s been doing the last six years. Ask if this would be a one time thing.
If you’re comfortable with it at some point and she agrees, maybe you introduce them and simply say she’s an old friend who happens to be in town or a distant cousin. She may just need to see that your daughter is happy and loved, and that will be enough for her. Or maybe she becomes the distant cousin who visits every couple of years and sends birthday and Christmas presents.
Assuming bio mom is in a good place in her life, it seems to me that at some age, once your daughter is old enough to really understand adoption, it would be reassuring to her to know that her bio mom cared enough to check up on her and make sure that the daughter was ok, and that you’re ok with your daughter having some kind of relationship with her
YTA
Wait wrong sub
The act of cuddling alone-not necessarily cheating, it could be seen as a friend comforting another friend. Once you make it a secret-then it becomes something taboo-which can cross boundaries into shady behaviour- which can be seen as cheating. Tell your wife especially if it’s nothing untoward
So why do you keep going on about it? Why not just stay quiet and let your son win a game? What is your aim here? Your tactic is stupid.
What a poor excuse of a dad!!
Your husband and your friend are together. They've obv tried to make you look like the bad one and end the marriage and since that didn't work your husband is ending your marriage whilst using your being tainted in his eyes as an excuse and it's a very lame one.
Gather proof seek legal advice get all your ducks in a row and ensure you walk away from your cheating lying disgusting ex with everything you deserve.
My friend finally quit a few years back
He had to throw everything away (furniture included) and basically start over. Had to even bring in a guy to strip the paint off the walls, deep clean them and repaint
Yes it’s actually that bad
I’d say that if he’s sending mixed signals constantly like this and causing romantic feelings that he’s not reciprocating, you need to start putting distance between you and him. He is a flaky person who’s too cowardly to ever make a solid commitment to a relationship. If you wait on him you’ll be waiting forever.
Ok so I can relate to this post quite a bit, but I did leave and go on to have a family with someone else.
Before I get absolutely flamed, my ex-husband had a fatigue condition and severe depression and changed his mind about having kids after he became unwell (which is fair enough). After much soul searching and a long course of therapy I decided to leave as I was absolutely desperate to fulfil my dream of having kids and I knew I couldn’t be happy and continue supporting him if I missed out on my dream. I knew it would lead to resentment and the relationship would fail anyway. Also his depression caused a major personality change in him and I found him increasingly unpleasant, sometimes to the point of cruelty.
I met someone else and now have my beautiful little family and my ex moved on too with someone else and I think we are both in a better place. I felt horrendous guilt at the time, but I will never regret my decision to pursue my own well-being and happiness.
You simply say I’m inviting you NOT whomever. I can’t foot the bill for anyone else! Bam! Problem solved!
my feelings would also be hurt if my partner didn’t trust me enough to share this info sooner but it sounds like she didn’t want you to look at her differently before getting to know her
I'm still laughing at the idiot….lmaooo
Does your culture include cheating?
Most people have friends like this, especially when they're contacts from way earlier in life and we've kind of gone our separate ways (not seeing each other at school every day). You can always decide to no longer consider this person a friend. Or you can get busy with other friends, perhaps people you know from more recent periods in your life.
Is this the same guy you had a crush on 10 months ago when you were 17?
Lawyer up, now, immediately. Do what the lawyer tells you. Good luck, especially to the child, this might get rough.
Wow what a dog.
Lol nah stuff like this just stresses me out , I’m literally a one conversation person and if I behavior doesn’t change I’m out , when it comes to this kinda stuff.
thank you!!
This sounds like a cult. Yes you should exit the marriage + and also whatever this religion is.
Thanks. It’s my business in as far as I’d think she’d mention she looking around for other guys since we’ve been spending so much time together. Sorry not to clarify that. The reason we’re not ‘officially’ together is because it actually it broke quite badly before and both of us have agreed to keep it like this. Maybe that’s naive but I was thinking of trying again to ask her out but now my trust is shot
JFC.
Yes, it is incredibly fucked up. Would you control someone’s attire and how they look? No? Okay. Then why are you letting someone else do it to you?
Tell him to eat shit.
oh! here's the problem. your partner is INCREDIBLY FUCKING SELFISH.
Because its her private medical information.
?
There is no remorse, there is no acknowledgement or ownership of the pain, trauma, and betrayal she inflicted on her STBXBF
There is just a continued attempt to minimize his lived experience and sympathy for his abuser.
It also makes me feel like he is disregarding my feelings and trauma
That’s because he is. It shouldn’t take 5 years worth of telling someone over and over again that they are making you uncomfortable, especially if they care so much about you and respect you so much. Then when you protest, he pushes back and tells you it’s not a big deal and that basically finds what makes you uncomfortable to be “hot”.
If he hasn’t listened in the past 5 years, and even diminishes your feelings about it by calling it “no big deal” that should speak volumes to you about him.