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Good! And thank goodness you don't have kids. Just go through your lawyer to get divorced, keep that protective order, and go no contact with him.
Most of the problem for me is that fact shes doesn’t want to distance herself from the guy after she said she will, when me and her talk about it I always say she deserves to have fun just to deal with it accordingly
No reason to try to be understanding. I have sympathy for people who have a fear of the dentist due to childhood issues/trauma, but this is basic hygiene, and a very important part of it. Bad oral care can potentially lead to a while lot of of health issues, plus is just plain gross. That's a vile and stupid thing he does, and there is no valid excuse for it. It'd be one thing if he had no access to what's needed for it, or no education, but as an adult, with the financial means, he knows, and does what he does anyway.
I don't know how you have put up with this, because that is a complete deal breaker. I would have dumped him long ago. Ultimatum time.
You’re in an abusive relationship, love. Find family and friends to stay with and pack and leave when he isnt at home. Stay safe, dont confront in person
not suggesting you should end the relationship, but generally when respect is gone the relationship is over.
Sadly everything you said is 100% true.
People want respect and kindness but barely give it.
We don't see people live! as actual people in reality
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If he truly is a narcissist then what he's telling you, if true, is proof he may be trying to do something about it. Of course he could be lying too.
Find out first if what he's saying is true. Next attend therapy with him and see how he acts. A lot of narcissists will try to paint themselves in a great light and deflect the heat to those around them (more so than anyone else).
Also, set hard boundaries with him telling him he HAS to get help (and why as you have presented it to us) and tell him if he doesn't then that's where you leave.
Maybe give him some time. This didn't happen, nor will it resolve, overnight.
Because he’s just using you sex and doesn’t care about anything else from you
You been reading incest porn again?
Why have you included both ages and sex?
Oh, I haven’t found that answer! Thanks.
That being said, yes, they were using some kind of “protection” (not sure if that’s the word in english, prevention, maybe?) and the guy didn’t have any reason to doubt she wouldn’t go through in case it failed since she said she didn’t want kids.
OP is free to change her mind and want to keep the baby, but I feel that in this situation, there isn’t much we can blame the guy for (and the reason why I say “guy” and not “partner” is because to me, it sounds obvious that he doesn’t want this relationship and just haven’t asked OP to move out because she doesn’t have where to go).
“He proceeded to give me his phone number so I could text him in case it ever happened again.” I read far enough, this dude is a weirdo
You know you have insecurities and jealousy issues, don’t date people who are into solo travel. Or ballroom dancing. Or other hobbies that might might trigger those thoughts. Don’t set yourself and your partner up for failure from the beginning.
Now you’re making up scenarios in your head and stewing on them. Talk to someone, work through these feelings before she gets back, and be honest with yourself about whether you’re in a mental space to continue this relationship.
just the company, but not like anyone in the area or region he’s in
for a week? :’)
You know if you feel like you have been made fool of then should she refuse or effectively refuse, you can do what she was afraid of.
You know, if she refuses that means she really was stringing you along to make you not contact the other guy. When you will feel emotional pain you should know it was deliberate
Naturally whatever you decide to do say not a word of that to your gf. She needs to make her decision in neutral environment.
Yes. Or leave him and try find someone else to have a baby with. Or get a sperm donation. You OBVIOUSLY can't force someone to have a child they aren't ready for. Are you serious??? What would you say to your female friend if she came to you and said her partner was threatening her into have unprotected sex. What you're suggesting is reproductive coercion. It's disgusting and abusive.
It’s pretty typical for a partner to become resentful where children are concerned. Kids are extraordinarily draining. You get the “privilege” of working non-stop to provide for the family. And nothing you do will ever be enough. She doesn’t understand or appreciate or have the capability to put herself in your shoes. Quit being a doormat.
I’m sorry but he doesn’t seem to like you all that much. The honeymoon phase has clearly ended.
Also the suggestion of taking you to get a Brazilian is lowkey offensive even to me. If he’s got such an issue with you having pubes then he should be man enough to actually say it.
I get Brazilian waxes and they are somewhat painful. I only get them done because I can’t shave and I couldn’t go with laser.
But then she said it would be better if you move on because she didn't know how long it'll take her to get out of the maze.
Move on bro.
When dealing with people i trust actions far more than words. If she was “in love with you” she wouldnt tell you to move on. In my early 20's this happened so many times to guys i knew where they'd wait for the girl they liked just to see her with another guy 2 months later.
I'd hate for you to get burned too, i seen this too many times
make sure if you audio record that it is legal to do so in your area. In the US, it goes state by state.
Thanks for the response, the fact that he lives multiple states away and they never see each other has me playing the situation differently than if he lived nearby. Me and her have an amazing relationship outside of this issue, so it’s not quite a dealbreaker for me at this point. But her reaction when I bring it up, has the possibility to change that too I suppose.
Housemates not roommates. We all have separate rooms and the walls are thick enough. Not the issue
Dude you’re an emotional kidnapper
Look, no matter how open and sexual a couple are, at the end of the day, a man has no problem fucking multiple women at once but will have every problem with his wife being fucked by multiple men. His ego is crushed because he's a little boy who couldn't handle what he had served. I said what I said.
Unfollow out of respect for your partner, trying to keep yourself tied to him on social media for no reason at all currently wont do anything but fuel future drama
Was she mad at you for other reasons? Sounds very passive aggressive
You already know the answer here.
Can you imagine how funny it would be if you changed your entire life for a pregnancy that never existed in the first place? It’s actually not funny, but it almost sounds like what happened..
Break up with her
Tell your ex/don’t tell your ex, either way leave her alone after
Please get tested. I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now, but STI’s can go unnoticed for YEARS with no symptoms. You don’t want to end up giving a future partner cervical cancer and your (and their) life changing overnight.
She’s not your friend. Cut her out of your life and take time to grieve the loss of your friendship.
I’m very sad and bummed out and embarrassed.
You should be. Not because of dating a nice and kind man you like and are attracted to, but because you're 41 years old letting your 'friend' mean-girl you out of having a decent man. WTF!
I teach teenagers, mostly seniors, and they'll clown each other for trying to do this, they'll tell the mean girl to quit talking about guys like she's a freshman. If girls not even out of high school yet know better, why don't you???
Your friend is jealous. JEALOUS. And her daughter is a mean-girl brat too. Tell her to STFU and if you decide to keep her as a 'friend' watch your back, because I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to make a move on him.
Before you do so, you should also take inventory of all the smaller items around your house that she knows you love/have worked hard on. Put them somewhere safe.
I REALLY don’t think you would be dumb enough to allow her to access to weapons but if she does, those definitely need to go away too. I would even go as far as temporarily relocating your kitchen knives. People that behave like this become extra extra violent when you try to leave.
It’s absolutely valid that you’re feeling the way you are, but honestly it just sounds like these feelings are shockingly delayed. You should’ve seen all of these red flags and recognized he is a player. If you want to take a step back and end it, do it, but recognize you’re complicit in deceiving yourself.
This is the most likely answer
Honey what will you do when you have the baby and he is upset the child has your attention.
You do know a baby is a 24/7 360 days a year..teething colic diapers bottles food crawling walking screaming. Walking talking wanting to play kindergarten school sports the list goes on…..
And you can not just let the child fend for itself.
Or lock it in a closet.
Social pathics do not like children or noise or anything that upsets them.
A sociopath and new born.
Listen to your mom.
What Is a Sociopath? A sociopath is someone who is diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Sociopaths can appear to be charming at first, but this never lasts. They exhibit antisocial behavior, which makes them want to break all the rules and exhibit a disregard for authority, act aggressively, lack feelings of guilt, and enjoy manipulating and controlling others.
Sociopath parent ….can cause great harm to children. Both emotionally and physically…..abuse..
They cate only about themselves. No you can not fix them..
Dump him and block him while you can
There's no reason a married man should be exchanging numbers with a woman.
Are adults incapable of being friends or…?
Confront her
Set boundaries if that doesn’t work
Break up
They have an open book policy when it comes to phones
Losing a deposit is cheaper than losing everything in a divorce!!
Move on. Anyone worth keeping would have given you the job ultimatum before sleeping around.
you didn't get an answer. . . awkward. I thinkthat means no.
Hard in a vastly rural area, but I'll probably be better off single then mentally torn apart daily
Tell her that it hurt your feelings. Don't worry about looking “insecure,” that's childish. Communicate how you feel.
If you want to stay together, discuss what would help things in the bedroom. Using a vibrator on her would likely have the same effect as the sleeve. She might also need more foreplay, sexual attention, etc. For most women, that's a far bigger part of an orgasm than size.
You should do the same, but forever
Iago moment
This is so unethical. I work with agencies and wouldn't screw them over like that. I mean, the agencies need to do things like advertise, build relationships, etc. After they've done all of that work and we're kind enough to employ me, I'm going to screw them over by stealing their clients? Think about it. Do better.