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INFO: So, you are BF/GF already? Do you want him to propose? I'm not clear on what you want. And did he come from a broken or dysfunctional family? These sorts of issues usually go way back.
For example, in my family, the word “love” was a 4-letter word. Nobody ever said it and I still have trouble saying it today.
Either way, if the fear of commitment really does run that deep, couples therapy is going to be your only hope. Neither Reddit nor a self-help book is going to cut through that thicket of deep issues. He might need individual therapy too.