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Dereck and Steban Couple, 21 y.o.
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Look at your question – 'how can I get her?'
While you indicate she'll suddenly 'be distant'… I have to wonder if you're coming on strong, or at least subtle but constant. I've seen it before.
Understand that she needs to need you, for this to work. How you ask your intial question, portray the change 'I realized I want only her [instense emotion],' & describe her current reactions (she's distancing & tou wish she wouldn't)… all of it's about you.
I read your post only, but there's no mention of why SHE felt it best to break off. What she was saying, feeling, experiencing.
Comments may have more info, but that info is – in a diagnostic sense – muddling the point I have.
Your entire opening salvo gives little information of her inner workings, or even her interactions with you. There's nothing about what she did during her alone-time, nor what led to her discussing a 2nd chance.
My suggestion is to do your shadow work – that is, the stuff you do alone, inside… the things only you can know, see & analyze. If this comment makes sense, then perhaps it can help.
Intensity & clarity of emotion, and/or strength of dedication – all good. But she has to want it, & not because she was enticed ('how do I get the girl') or manipulated. She has to insist her own emotions are real; you can't make that. And she dhouldn't 'make' that, either.
The love you wish she felt, has to be fueled by her own existence – not your input or needs.
Best to you.
Eeeewww why are you interested in someone like this? My birthday is very important to me but he is being a total ass about it. He seems like a bitter person that wants you to “ruin” his bday so he can shame you and make you feel bad.