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I believe that right now it sounds like the healthiest decision you can make is truly going to affect each of you in different ways. Questions like these are normal in these circumstances, because a relationship with this progression is very “forever” in a way since there is an engagement in the possible mix which leads to marriage which ideally is something you want to stick with for the rest of your life. So, that is a huge commitment.
It sounds like you two have had a pretty strong relationship from the brief description we have since you mention you have communicated to a degree the emotions your feeling. While not explicitly which at this time I would say is a smart decision. One thing I will say and this is something you should definitely keep in mind is do not make any rash or impulsive decisions and do not discuss this with her until you have gone through it thoroughly and have determined at least some course of action or have firmed up your intentions. Mentioning this at an early or developmental stage opens her mind to the insecurity of your relationship and the possibility of it ending. Creating unnecessary doubt or worry because of a way you are feeling now but may not in the future is not something you want to put on someone because truly there are some battles that do not need to be externally expressed to your partner at certain stages.
There is a lot of details I feel that are lacking for me to really give advice on what you should do, which also tells me that these thoughts and feelings while valid are at an early developmental phase. They are not necessarily something that would be relationship breaking because frankly a lot of what you mentioned is part of the long term relationship struggles that you overcome. Not in a way that you overlook it, rather, you reason with it and understand it.
I would say maybe the relationship needs challenged, not in a negative way but maybe you need to have a conversation with her and just talk about what you want and what you are looking for and ask her the same. From there, try to give that and see how it goes and then if you are still feeling the same or if she is not receptive then it could be time to get a third party involved.
I had so many texts, missed calls and VMs from BF. They ranged from apologetic to angry to
Even now, I was upset enough to leave and his texts that I did read are not supportive. No apology.
Can you elaborate on this?