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Give him some space. You are doing right calling him by his gender and name. I imagine that was a ver very hot thing to do. Don’t repeat to him what the grandparents or others say. Just love your kid the way he is.
You don’t have to explain either side to the other. It is not helpful to be a go-between especially if no one has asked you to do it (I am extrapolating from something that happened in my family, so if I am off base, I apologize).
If your child wants to go no contact with others in the family, that may be the healthiest choice he can make. It’s OK. Make sure he knows you love him, and respect any Boundaries he may need to set. Respecting boundaries is the best way to communicate love when we need to rebuild connection or trust.