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Why don't you just ask her. You're an adult. Use your words.
“Why would you ask me that?”
Or you can continue to act like nothing happened.
Or, third option, ask her how she feels and whether she wants to take it a step further.
Maybe she just wants your attention. Maybe she only sees you as a friend. Maybe she's toying with you.
You won't know unless you ask her.
if 99% of time it's women who want manicures, should they ask guys to pay for it sometimes for it to be “fair”.
No, because guys don't care about your nails.
Sometimes they are just bracing for impact. Maybe there needs to be more foreplay.
Just because they’re not saying anything sexual doesn’t mean it’s not an affair. Im really not a fan of ‘sexy talk’ over text message and have never done much of it even when me and my partner were first dating.
If you’re telling the truth, and there is no female anywhere around this, I think it’s reasonable. Three days is not very long and it will give you some time to relax. Let her do the same thing.
This is not ok. This sounds like an emotional affair. You need to tell him this. Friends do not talk to friends that way.
You have every right to tell him that his friendship with this woman makes you uncomfortable. You have every right to ask him to limit his interactions with her to work only, during work hours.
If he can’t do this, then that is a huge indicator that his relationship with her means more to him then his relationship with you and your family. That he would be willing to risk it all just to keep her in his life.
If the roles were reversed, I bet he would not be very agreeable to this type of “friendship” between you and a coworker.
Yeah I’ve tried, she’s not really having it. Gave her soma specifics as well
Seems like she just wants to have the ability to play the field and then come back to you (Mr. Faithful/Reliable) when she's done. You don't deserve that, no one does.
She should get an abortion and you should never talk to her again.
You know a fwb is not forever, it will end in one way or another.
The sex will end sure, but I'm still friends with a couple of my FWBs.
Stop letting this live rent-free in your head.
They just want to make him squirm. It's not about you. It's about them.
Everyone assumes you are having sex if you are dating in your 20s.
If not for this, they would he perfect in your eyes. Nobody is perfect.
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So you both wear jeans and a top but somehow that's him dressed up?
Then good friends would tell her directly why she couldn’t have been invited… they didn’t have the decency to even tell her but yet automatically expect an invite to op event in HER HOME. Nope op has the right to not invite them because clearly they don’t care about op but only care about her good parties. Please they are full of it.
Dude, are you really this dense? You try to sound so smart in all of your replies, and yet you ignore culturally relevant information to form your incorrect conclusions or attribute it to something else entirely. Even in America, women used to not be able to leave marriages very easily. Women were specifically discluded and discouraged from joining the workforce. They had no financial means to leave, and even if they did leave, they had very few options when it came to employment. Because men held most if not all of the positions of power at the time, most women could only hope for menial jobs at best. They were also not allowed the same educational opportunities as men. Going to college used to just be for men. Women either weren't allowed or were treated terribly if they did. Again, further limiting their job prospects. They were expected to be at home and nothing else, this wasn'teven 100 yeara ago. Then there's the general stigma of divorce. Back then, it was seen as a failure, especially on the woman. It was naked for women to go out in the world as a divorcee, and to many men, this lowered their “value.” There was also the religious aspect. Many American women belonged to Christian churches where divorce was not only frowned upon but could get you kicked out of that church, limiting their support system and making them feel they had to stay. So before touting your opinions (very poorly informed ones at that) as “facts,” you may want to actually educate yourself. Otherwise, you join conversations and show just how little you actually know or understand. There's nothing wrong with admitting you may not know something and need to look into it further. Maybe people aren't jumping on you because you're some harbinger of difficult truths, but because you took the wrong information and twisted it to try and make it true.
You know you’re probably right, I’ve had some bad times in the past and I was sexually groomed a couple of times as a like young teen- do you think that is sort of impacting being vulnerable in that situation?
Gifts are called gifts for a reason. You don’t expect anything in return when you give them. You know she has financial difficulties at this moment and to some people handmade gifts don’t have the same value as more materialistic things.
Yep she's an absolute nut.
My thoughts are that he is mooching off of a single mother with her own children to feed. My thoughts are that there are no free rides in this life and I don’t care how many kids he’s supporting. My thoughts are he needs to pay for his food, shelter and utilities like the rest of the planet. My thoughts are, SHAME ON HIM! Yuck!
I'm going to be blunt. I would do the exact thing as her if my spouse allowed his family to act in that manner at celebrations organized for your wedding.
Asking for no contact is the least she could have demanded. I get that you think that shouldn't apply to other family members who you are cool with, but none of them stopped your mother from destroying these events. Sure they may have called her out on it, but none of them walked her out and forced her to leave. YOU allowed your family to permanently defile some of the most important moments in her life
I fear that the time has passed for you to suddenly wake up, realize how badly YOU failed your wife and save the relationship.
Stop framing this scenario as her being greedy and only caring about the house. She realizes the magnitude of a mistake she made marrying you and is trying to limit her financial loss.
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Why stress just break up
You need to have a conversation about how you are not pressuring her to be sexual with you, but you have sexual desires and you are going to masterbate, that is not cheating because it is you exploring your sexual pleasure alone. If she can't stand the thought of you being sexual at all even alone, then that's a problem because that's her trying to control you.
Spend more time with foreplay, this a strange convo for her to put off for 4 years. Also if she won't tell you what she likes then it is just as much her fault. Women can be a bit more particular while men are easy.
now imagine that, you're walking on eggshells now because you couldn't be an adult and ignore feelings for your co worker
Greetings from Germany. Buy a family car, not a race car.
You are not overreacting. He is doing this on purpose.
I think you need to read something about how poor quality sperm is after 40 and how high miscarriage rates are – even when the woman is in their early 20s.
Do not engage with Infamous Vagina Spammer
Have you ever come across an age gap relationship where one partner was literally double the other’s age, but the relationship turned out healthy? Because I haven’t.
Theres no way he didnt realize he was pulling out chunks of hair and if you ripped so bad that you needed stitches, I'd imagine there was a decent amount of blood. This wasnt an accident. Did he even apologize for you needing to get stitches?
If she’s given you no reason to think she’s cheating, would even looking through her phone help? If the feeling she’s cheating still doesn’t just magically disappear (it won’t) will you want more proof? What if she can’t provide it? Where does it end? The issue lies within you and you have to deal with that. No other person can fix it.
In your example she would have been very selfish to join the military & support imperialism though
Wait until she responds. You do not want to be either forceful or desperate.
Your wife was mad bc you didn’t tell your mother off? Seems to me that your mom deserves to be made aware of your wife’s insecurities but don’t be harsh about it. I think your wife’s anxiety is no excuse to be rude to a family member. Do you and your wife stand out on the front porch and knock and wait for permission to come in when you visit your mom? If not, you should start, since that’s the way it’s going to be.
Heartbreak sucks, no matter what kind of relationship you were in.
Well, she cheated on you. Can you get past it? Do you want to?
That's her problem. She wanted to cheat and now she can suffer the consequences of being a cheater.
By not talking to him, you made it seem like you lost interest.
OP it was all downhill when he started leaving his phone in the hotel room so he could lie to you & likely cheat. Yes he is a pig, no there is not a reasonable explanation. I’m sorry
I am definitely insecure and he knows this! If I ever bring something up that makes me feel insecure he has always reassured me.
can guarantee that he'll suddenly have a change of heart when you tell him you aren't supporting him financially anymore
She said she wouldn’t do it again. We had a talk about it and she completely understands.
I think it is too easy to see the conflict with a major medical event, he would know the right answer and would lie to save face.
Make it something smaller and more mundane. See where his priorities lie. Because one of the biggest things in divorce is that one partner is just not there.
And if he thinks her crisis is more important than his family’s happiness, then he isn’t life partner potential.
I am not taking my partner’s last name, because I’m the only child of the only boy in the family. If I change my last name, it completely dies out. I want my kids to take my name so my family continues. My partner has brothers and sisters, his family name is not in danger.
Almost being the operative word here. End of the day, unless your Helen Mirren, we're all ugly once we hit 70+. For most of us, it's even sooner.
I really appreciate you taking the time to reply and for the advice. I have no idea if he is truly divorced and honestly don’t want to know more about the guy. The saddest thing about this is my dogs love each other and will most likely be broken apart. Agree better to know now
This hits the nail on the head. Literally so spot on.
It also makes me question whether this is really the first time the OP had feelings this strong, I’d argue he felt the same thing for Kayla initially and then once someone new, shiny and just out of reach came along he switch obsessions. As you’ve said can these festering feelings are primarily fueled by Sarah’s inaccessibility.
He lied to you, it’s simple. He didn’t test negative. Unless he has proof. And, even if he sent you proof now, he would’ve had to gotten treated for it. It only takes a week or two to clear up. So, either way, he lied, he cheated. Get treated, block him, and move on. Learn to use protection. Don’t trust these heauxs
Yeah it’s just naked because I really like her but one of the jobs I’m interviewing for that is my dream job is 6 hours away. We’ve actually been dating for 5 months
Also don’t have a penis but how on earth can he even get excited to have sex knowing there’s a chance this could tear. That thought alone makes my knees quiver
He's way more likely to get infections and STDs (sorry I'm not saying you're cheating or he is) but wounds and sex are a bad BAD mix
I am so sorry for your loss. It's still so fresh, I imagine the shock hasn't worn off yet. Just take it one day at a time and grieve. Be kind to yourself, you have suffered a huge loss. As cliche as it sounds, time heals. God bless.
With that comment of his alone would make me break up with him.
If you really don't want to say anything to Karla or Blair, and you, for some foolish reason, want to continue to hang out with them, stop bringing your boyfriend. Tell him the situation makes you uncomfortable and that you'd rather just see these girls by yourself.
Alternatively, you could have your boyfriend refuse her advances. “Please don't touch me” will do. Maybe a little PDA with you. But I wouldn't really put that on your boyfriend. These aren't his friends, he shouldn't be responsible for checking their behavior.
He’s a liar, a bad husband, a bad partner, a cheater, ick. The facts alone are enough to turn you off girl you don’t need us
She isn't old fashioned because she doesn't want an open relationship; she is just monogamous. Not being comfortable with your partner being a sex worker is really common. And, as everyone, she has the right to have preferences around her partner(s) and sex. Break up with her and do what you want. She definitely deserves a better partner that doesn't push her to cross her boundaries.
Yes he snooped on your medical files. I would lock down all my shit now. He’s an asshole
What is YOUR problem? Have you absolutely NO self respect? Who lets anyone treat them like this?
Omggg you’re a huge AH. If Lucy stays with you you’re lucky because I would never allow my bf to be that close to anyone idc who it is. Kate seems to be developing feelings.
You can’t, your gf has some really weird jealousy issues with your sister. That’s on her, not you.
I was ban because I re-signed up too fast and it was treated as a fake account. It's not sexist, Tinder just has very shady and stupid rules about ban.
I try to stick to dating people who hold the same views on it, but I won't condemn people who are more casual. I just think that you need to be open and honest about where you stand on it from the start and not sneak around about it.
I’ve seen it all too often. People mistaken relationships for ownership. It’s like people want to become conjoined, no longer individuals at all.
There are 22 year olds who have been working full time since graduating high school and are married with kids. Why are you infantilizing young people? Also gen z and millennials are social constructs not relevant to two people deciding whether to date. My parents are different generations and a year and a half apart in age.
Girl how are you in an exclusive situationship but he can’t commit? The relationship was over before it even started lol
If your gf isn’t willing and able to immediately shut this down, you need to think long and naked about whether this relationship is going to work for you. This kind of interference never ends and you’re most likely going to find yourself continually stuck between your deep resentment for their meddling in your life, and whatever leverage it is that they hold over your wife (guilt, money, etc).
You think it’s bad now? Wait until you have kids…
Now, if she’s willing AND able to immediately shut this down and go on vacation with you, okay. Different story.
But if it turns into a fight….dodge the bullet, dude.
Hmm that’s a good question, I don’t think so. She has mentioned she’s always been this way though so perhaps there could be something there. She used to be even more disturbed by outside stimuli but recently she was very motivated to get lasik. That has seemed to make her feel less disturbed by being outdoors
Like why wouldn’t you want to celebrate an important event like that with someone you love. Does he hang with these friends frequently?
She is a SA or molestation survivor. Classic symptoms of abuse and Complex PTSD. She needs therapy. Honestly she really shouldn't be in a relationship until she can sort that out. It'll only lead to toxicity and codependent behavior on at least her part.
Worse, it will further complicate her trauma response
I would only confront her if it’s to tell her you’re breaking up with her. As for crying, that’s something you’ll need to prepare yourself for ahead of time. She’s obviously used to using that to manipulate you, but you know deep down that this isn’t good for you, and the instinct you have to take care of her feelings and make her better is only hurting you here. But when you do confront her, be FIRM about it. You’re breaking up, period. No, she can’t convince you to stay. No, you are not interested in “working on it” (because she has no real interest here in changing). If possible, once you’re done, leave for a while so you aren’t stuck with her for several hours afterwards. It’s going to be very naked but I promise you, once you’re out of this situation you will feel so much better and much more emotionally safe.
Men don’t expect this boys do. You absolutely shouldn’t have to take care of him for doing something nice. That’s not a relationship
I definitely agree porn is a problem, and did not intend to gloss over that; thanks for calling that out. The point I was trying to make is that we generally have limited options to coerce, or force change, of other people's behaviors. (reference Dr Henry Cloud's work on interpersonal boundaries, for instance) One option she has at her disposal is dissolution of the relationship.
Thank you for your reply and gosh, you are laying your soul here. Time is a healer and you will get over this. The more this unravels and more you see what has been hiding in plain sight, the more unpleasant he becomes. You’ve been blinded by your unwavering devotion to him, that is because you’re an honourable and loving person. He’s exploited your good nature. Life is too short.
You know exactly what to do.