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“In the Middle” is a tall order. If my solution sounds strange, please consider that even King Solomon never really figured out how to split a baby.
IMHO, the Middle is where she gets what she wants – a baby – and you get what you want – little or no fatherhood. How to do that without seeming to offload all your responsibilities to your poor wife is the next challenge. For that, offhand I've got (1) hire a caregiver or two, and/or (2) create a multigenerational and/or extended-family household in which parenting is the collective responsibility of the adults.
A variation on (1) is to go together with your son and his partner on hiring a caregiver who would tend to both your son's baby and yours.
With (2), first consideration goes to your son and his partner and/or any or all of the future baby's four grandparents – but any branch of the family tree can be considered.