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I get sh*tfaced once every in 3-4 months to do a “brain reset” but never ever in my life have I puked/peed or did a mess inside a house. When I overdo alcohol I always have enough subconscience to do the stuff outside in a bush or near a tree or someplace. And mind you that sometimes I am in a really bad state that I can't even articulate. So, this is something very concerning. A sane grown up man should never pee inside a house, that's some mental brain issue over there, a basic reflex block or whatnot. Cuz that is literally something you have a sense for even when you r shitfaced. Who the heck would piss in his own house to make a mess and a bad smell…
I'm worried for the future of your kid because he is being raised by a woman the sees the bond between a father (that she CLAIMS to love) and his children as secondary to “what's in it for me”.
The way you earn the love of a stepchild is by being better than the ugliness of a broken family. You can't do that because you're not.
My advice is to choose a man with no past when (if) the next one comes along.
So….he didn’t read your mind so you canceled all the plans to make a point.
Super mature.
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You're only making things worse by faking it, because now he thinks what he did got you off so he's going to keep trying that same thing. Just tell him you can't cum from penetration and show him how to play with your clit. You'll both have a lot more fun.
You talking to me? I'm not trolling
About 25% of men have a responsive sexual desire or are low libido, he might be in that category. Have you guys ever had sex? Are you yourself high libido?
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He got butt hurt that you mansplained the joke, and then tossed a spoon at him.
What has he done to improve his issues?
No, I don't want that. But at the same time, I do love her and I want to leave in a way that doesn't lead her to doing self harm.
i don’t think so and if he does thats an absolute deal breaker for me. he wrote the song before me though
You need to break up with the pathetic bf. 2 schedule your dogs to get them fixed. They can do doggie abortions.
OMG. He’s abusive girl. No one should be treated like that. You deserve better.
Sounds to me that he treated his ex in a way that he feels he owes her everything. I would be concerned about how he treated her. Honestly op should be concerned that he can have a normal conversation with her. He can still leave everything to his ex and refuse to compromise on that and still be able to have a conversation about it.
Some of the best advice I ever got was “What other people think of me…is none of my business.”
You may still be too young and too concerned about your social status to perceive the wisdom of that axiom. But it's basically an encouragement to relax and just online your best authentic life, which some people will applaud and others will criticize. You can't please everyone, so at least try to please yourself.
FWIW I think you're right to be concerned that J and C talk negatively about you behind your back. Gossips gotta gossip, and when you're not with them, chances are good that you are right up there on the menu, along with V and M. If you felt uncomfortable about the way they dished dirt about V and M behind their backs but then turned friendly and joked with them in class, you should have distanced yourself from them once you discovered their true character.
But does it really matter? I'd be really careful about sharing anything with J and C that you don't want the entire world to know, but otherwise if you still enjoy their company, it's OK to keep hanging with them. You might want to track down your old friends A, V, and M and see how they are doing also, since J and C may have influenced you to distance yourself for no good reason other than their own need for friendship drama and vicious gossip. And nothing says that you can't expand your social circle in order to find new and better friends for your adult life, people who have no desire to criticize friends behind their backs. That might be the best solution of all.
Shes not poly. She has FWBs that she uses poly as a excuse to fuck freely.
She cheated emotionally
He's breaking up with you. Maybe took at a room-share situation,
Sorry your parents aren't much of a help, but you have to take care of yourself. This guy is only concerned with himself and at 27, he's not going to change,
Adding this for educational purposes: current term is child sexual assault material (CSAM) because porn is supposed to be consensual.
You're just a hook up for him. In a “serious” relationship it should be a matter of course to be allowed to have a snack at your SO's place or even a meal. If someone can't afford to share some snacks or food then this person should shift priorities. Just pathetic.
How can you say you haven’t seen his controlling side. Dot points 8 and 9 are literally him controlling you.
Exact same for me.
If your name is on the lease he cannot kick you out. But if it isn't leave and don't look back. Maybe this is just the catalyst, maybe there has been a buildup to this fight and it's the last straw. If you can't say this is true he's looking for a reason to get rid of you and probably has another woman to fill your spot. Either way why would you stay with someone so eager to rid themselves of you? Get out while you can
You don’t sound compatible at all. It doesn’t matter what you want to label it, but he sounds incredibly insecure, and you’re already feeling like you need to hide things from him. I don’t see how this can be a happy, healthy relationship.
Omg 2
lol
My dad “are you sure about that?-ing” Everything I say when he watches the fox news of French Canada and never read a newspaper. Yes dad I'm sure, you've never heard about that because you never hear about anything but anti immigration stuff.
Dries up communications real quick. Thank god he got better lately.but it's bc he sees me as an adult now.
Do you usually tell victims of domestic violence they need to do more cleaning and laundry to avoid triggering their abuser? The abusive spouse can go party with friends while the victim stays home doing all the work? Do you understand how seriously fucked up that is?
Don't sign an NDA. He'll make his relationship public as soon as the divorce is finished, and people will put two and two together. He might try to protect his gf by starting rumours about you instead, and making you the reason for the divorce. And where will you be then, with no option to defend yourself?
He doesn't sound like a very nice person, so make sure you don't put yourself in a vulnerable position.
Exactly.
Even if it's the sickness making her lash out it's not just gonna be entirely because of that. Deep down she's probably always felt that you don't do enough for her and she's now letting you know it in a specularly over the top fashion. Get your best jogging shoes on a run my man.
Please leave him with your child. Everyone’s safety depends on it. Every minute your child lives in the house with that dog his in danger. Plus your child,is developing serious mental issues because of being forced to online in the same house with the dog.
Unfortunately no, it’s all true
It's popular in BDSM as a smooth calm down from the intense emotions of the sex/scene and reassurance of worth beyond use as masturbatory aid. As BDSM involves more heightened emotions than regular sexual activity (kind of the point) then aftercare becomes more necessary to more people.
Those necessities are not unique to BDSM though, just vastly more common and amped up. Many people want assurance of a return to normal behaviour and value to their partner after regular sex, that's entirely normal.
It's popular in BDSM as a smooth calm down from the intense emotions of the sex/scene and reassurance of worth beyond use as masturbatory aid. As BDSM involves more heightened emotions than regular sexual activity (kind of the point) then aftercare becomes more necessary to more people.
Those necessities are not unique to BDSM though, just vastly more common and amped up. Many people want assurance of a return to normal behaviour and value to their partner after regular sex, that's entirely normal.
Awww. She and her sister were also my first pets as an adult. I got them when I was 20. I had her sister for 10 1/2 years before she got sick and I had her for 17 years before she passed away. Her sister was very sweet, but more shy and not as talkative.
I don't have the details, and I'm a random person on the internet… Take anything I say for exactly as much as it cost you.
This sounds like a 'Random', no matter what she says, actions speak lounder than words.
She RANDOMLY hooked up with you, and if she wants more she will be back. Who knows what she's doing the rest of the time…
Around your age I went through the same thing a lot of guys do, the idea of romantic love, desperately wanting a solid relationship, a wife… A LOT of guys do.
In my case my military career kept me moving, and living with a bunch of (asshole) guys with shaved heads made it worse…
I was 36 before I met, 37 before I seriously dated the woman that would become my wife.
I'd like to say I was in control the entire time… but I wasn't, and at around 29 I thought I'd die alone, resigned myself to that fact and stopped chasing tail entirely.
SUPRISE! When I stopped chasing, even turning down dates, here they came in droves! I just went about doing my thing, and I kept hearing “Mysterious”, “Interesting”, “Intellectual”, “Deep”, all because I didn't talk much, just soaked up what was going on people watching while out with my friends and doing day to day stuff.
When I stopped reaching out (trying too very hot?) Everything reversed 180° and I was being pursued. I saw a crap ton of 'Crazy', like boiling the bunny, destroying your car, get you arrested crazy. Seems when you are aloof and non-commital they go insane…
This is the point my grandpa's advice suddenly made sense… AVAILABILITY doesn't mean SUITABILITY.
When the pliers are handy, they might drive a nail, but a hammer does a better job…
I was still in the Marines back then, best physical condition of my life, had rank so not starving to death, my cousin and I had been in business since we were 19 and made some money, I could afford reasonable cars, had a motorcycle… Skydiving, scubadiving, trips when on leave, so traveled some outside the shit holes the Corps sent me to… By no means wealthy, just starting to get some of the 'Adult' things…
It got to the point I had a wicker laundry basket outside my apartment door, it was for the crap they left behind marking their territory… It was like a signal the door worked BOTH ways and they weren't going to let that happen…
My wife chased me (low key) for about a year. I was fully single, disabled from the Marines, building a homestead and business. I just had shit to do, people to see and now disabled I figured the 'Die Alone' thing was a given… Until the dying thing I was going to build my homestead out in the woods and do things the way I wanted… Completely out of shits to give..
I did a river walk for charity, there she was.
The local street fest has a beer garden, I'm there with a couple buddies, there she was.
I went to a BBQ/Chili cook off, there she was.
Go to a car show with friends, there she was.
I thought I was being stalked at one point…
Turns out she was friends with my old middle school (different high schools, where she attended with them) geek/nerd group and none of those morons connected the dots, they were inviting her. We had EVERYTHING in common…
Don't get me wrong, I love my life long geek/nerd friends, they just don't always connect the dots really well… She had actually asked them about me and they still didn't connect the dots.
The point is, if someone is really interested in you, they WILL find time.
She’s not even prepared to abide by the boundaries they mutually agreed on. She can’t give him the basic respect he deserves.
While I support people doing what they like, I also take into account that the idea you can only be happy if you absolutely love your job is just romanticised bullshit. If you have a passion but you tried, didn't get anywhere, you don't need to quit. However, a stable, predictable life is important for many areas and, as such, should be reached first.
You should find a job you tolerate and plan on how to use part of this money to invest in what you like to do. Get a job that allows you to have enough time at certain point so you can work on what you love. When what you love starts giving you money back, it might become your main job.
This is presented as a stark all-or-nothing when it’s not. Parents can and do give each other “breaks”. Time away, as it were. I feel like you’re over-simplifying a complex and flexible thing and that there’s plenty of room to help each other out that doesn’t demand both parental figures be “on” all the time. Kinda tone deaf, really. But on the other hand, if you are actually the kind of person who doesn’t just shoot their fool mouth off proclaiming stuff you can’t online up to, you actually step up – good luck! Being “on” all the time is exhausting. I hope you are given breaks when you need them, even if at the time you’re too stubborn to admit it. You’re still wrong, but that’s kind of a universal human trait, that we fuck up but get by somehow, so… have a good life? And maybe remember this later when you learn more.
And that’s just the start.
You will owe that child your full support. You will owe that child unconditional love.
Imagine how you would feel on the day you realized that the reason your parent doesn’t seem to love you is they never really wanted you and on the whole they regret having you.
It’s been five years. If your ex hasn’t reached out to you then you shouldn’t reach out to her.
Destroying her relationship with her son was most definitely not the right choice. Dating a high schooler and ignoring her son for sex was not the right choice. She is a bad parent and human being. There is nothing right about any of this.
he's a very selective psychic. And a full time moron.
So, your wife is keeping in touch daily with ex boyfriends or casual sex partners, hiding it from you, deleting evidence.
Yeah.
Probably not physically cheating, but to me this is cheating, I would end it if this was me personally, i don't put up with crap like this.
But I am an arse hole, so wait for other advice from nicer people.
We’ve been together about 7 months. My plan was to say the things you’ve outlined here. Just wanted some additional perspective to make sure I’m just not being old fashioned.
Yes you are wrong. The stalker is counting upon you folks to be …. frankly speaking, dumb. And that's exactly what you are being.
Sorry.
Get some decent competent local help.
Well, i messaged her if she wanted to talk and even though she’s sick she called me
We talked a little and from what i can get braking up didnt even cross her mind.
For the record: she called me before even opening my message.
Birth control is never 100%
Nah man. Relationship has run its course. You don’t have to hate her, but she did you dirty. I’d break off all communication for awhile- it will help you get over it. You’ve been friends for most of your lives so you definitely need a new routine. Hang out with friends. Join a gym or a club. Meet some new people. You will find yourself missing her less and less. Good luck
Yes you have a right to be upset. No you should not keep pushing the proposal to him. Would you care to know why? You deserve a man who proposes to you because his heart is set on it, and for him, you are the only woman; rather than a man whose arm you had to twist into it, who was dumb enough to buy you a ring like that for a birthday gift. Don’t you think so?
Instead of misogyny you may want to take a look at NPD or Narcisstic personality disorder and its traits.
He's making no effort to spend meaningful time with you. Why are you still putting in the effort to date him? Love is not enough. He's showing you his priorities and you aren't even in the top 3. It's time for you to move on.
This whole story is weird and screams incest, molestation and abuse – from all sides. If I'd be you I'd stay away from this family, this is a dynamic you don't want to get sucked into. What you know is probably just the surface of what really went on there… Please take off your rose-colored glasses and smell the flowers.
You've already chosen fucking your housemate over your friend. Might as well lean into it now.
Don't be a jerk about it, but admit to yourself that your friend is no longer your friend.
Decide what to do about your housemate – whether you want to just screw him or get into a committed relationship with him.
Sorry, but this is sick…
You want him to reach out to show he cared. That there is some good in him and you weren’t wrong about him. Time will heal you and you will move on. Focus on hobbies and adventure. Hang out with your friends more and go on some dates. Occupy your mind with new things. One day he won’t matter and you won’t think about him. You just need to be at peace with the fact that he was yours for a season or a reason, he was there for growth not forever. Good luck
Just say ‘so hey, uhh, it’s awkward but I’ve forgotten your name. I’m so very sorry & it’s an awful habit. Please don’t think bad of me’ and I hope she’s okay about it. Because honesty is the best way forward
Social media has made it easier. People do this in their minds anyway (the term ‘spank bank’). Trying to control this borders on thought police for me
Maybe tell her that you’d like to take her out for a nice dinner when you all get back as a thank you.
And there’s no reason you can’t go have a nice meal by yourself at the restaurant you want to try and meet up with everyone after.
I (44F) travel all over for work and love to treat myself to a nice meal. I’ve met a lot of cool people that way all over the world.
Hey friend. Don’t be so very hot on yourself. You did not waste three years. You’ve lived for X amount of years under a misconception of your self worth but you also learned a lot during that time that has led you to be able to you de-program yourself from a toxic script in only a few hours. The you from three years ago wasn’t ready. Be kind to her. The you today is absolutely ready.
Take all that pent up frustration about “time wasted” and apply it forward so that you don’t waste one second of this new, stronger you, under these shitty conditions. Sonic the hedgehog on out of there and into your future!
I’ve told her I can compromise and I have I couldn’t have left her 6months ago when I knew about it but I’m trying cuz she’s a great girl, but the fact that’s she doesn’t see my point is what really bothers me…
I’m 100% over her. The thing is we were legitimately friends but I can see how it’s selfish for me to try n keep that friendship. I wanted to wait a little longer before she saw anything. Maybe we shouldn’t have tried the friend thing this soon but she wanted to stay in touch and check up on each other. She’s in another country now so I didn’t see the harm.
that ship has sailed
Does he look like Chris Hemsworth or something?Because I have a feeling he is some average DB! I don’t understand this post and why you are sticking around? He told you the truth now call his bluff and go! Trust me plenty of good men who would treat you like a Queen. Get out of this now! Old saying, better to be alone than with bad company! Get out or be miserable until he cheats and really hurts you even more. He is already wearing on your self esteem. Go please!
Thank you. I'm so sorry that you're also experiencing this. Maybe a burden shared is easier for all of us to manage.
1 day at a time it is. Hopefully it is ok to reach out to people here.. I feel that I might be becoming boring to my friends and family, just because I'm not exactly fun to be around at the moment.
We were also on the adoption path and were planning to marry this year too ..
Tell him if he cheats you will that the child and leave and he just needs to compromise with you if he doesn't like it. See how he likes being told he just needs to bend to your will. By the way he isn't asking you to compromise he is telling you he is doing it and you need to just deal with it. Compromise is when all parties change and give and come to an agreeable solution for everyone. What he is doing is in no way a compromise, he is just using the word so he don't sound like the dick he is.
it's kind of sick and creepy. you don't fix sick and creepy, you distance from it.
This is what’s known as the DENNIS system.
Too early to tell but my advise is to focus on yourself and don’t date people who only do “situationships”
Right nerd. You are such a mind reader.
This, OP. My dad was this man and we don’t talk now.
This right here. Candida is everywhere, and both partners have to treat it at the same time to clear it up.
r/healthyhooha
… so your problem is that she can’t handle your half of the expenses? you make 270k (i am assuming dollar?) and you can’t afford to have someone living with you for free? bro. you can Downton Abbey fulls of maids with that kind of money.
just say it. you do not think she is good enough to continue dating you. break up with her and ends her misery already. clearly you never have any intention to marry her.