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No one is blaming victims at all, especially not me, trust me on that one.
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His parents don't want to talk about it I think because they think once they're gone your bF and his brother will feel too guilty to not take care of him. I'm often irresponsible but FFS this is their child and they're just completely letting his well-being fly. They sound like awful parents even notwithstanding the cinema thing.
I think you and your BF need to be sure you're on the same page on this.
He's 20 years old. Don't expect him to be the most mature or rational. He might not be able to cope with life issues as well as you.
Lol. You think vulgar granny gives any fucks about you clutching your pearls while she gets a good chuckle? I don’t disagree it stands to reason this could get awkward. But shiiiit, when I’m old and gray I hope I’m this funny. As long as granny isn’t having health issues causing uncharacteristic behavior, this is the kind of thing people like you need to either a) lighten up and laugh a little or b) give people with a sense of humor a good laugh when your panties get all in a bunch. Because I bet you wear the big ol granny ones. Thongs are SO distasteful! But lucky for me I’m vulgar and don’t wear any panties at all! You should try it! That stick up your ass might fall out though. ???
He has RJ but you're not supposed to deal with that right now , you have stuff you need to work on too. Leave him , you need someone more stable.
Wait until you're married for a few decades. “Wife, you breath stinks. Go brush your teeth”. Wife – Ok thanks for telling me.
Should've asked granny if she tested them herself first lmao
Like I said, I hope OP gets the test and uses it to get some killer child support. And we all know the husband has no proof of her cheating, because if he did, he’d already be gone and bringing divorce papers and mandatory paternity tests into it.
And listen, I don’t believe OP hid it. I don’t think it was relevant to her current relationship so she didn’t say anything about it. OP doesn’t owe her husband a list of her previous transgressions in relationships. I’m sure, based on her husband’s behavior, he has some doozies as well. Until now, they weren’t relevant to this relationship. Because you can’t tell me that OP’s husband JUST started dealing with shit in this unhealthy abusive manner in this relationship.
Because she wants you to.
That's why. That's the reason. You do things for your partner.
Maybe she wants to feel like she lives with an adult, not an entitled teen aged boy. Maybe she has had the dream of fixing a special meal together where she doesn't have to teach you how to use a potato peeler. Maybe she wants you to stop buying crap take out and help with the household chores for once.
Learn to cook. It's not that hard.
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Nowhere in here do you mention your apology. Maybe work on that.
Did you put any food in his lunchbox or just the diaper?
Dunno about your area, but in the US, that's a serious crime. I know I'd be bouncing out of that relationship at the very least.
It's understandable that you would be hesitant in this situation, given your past experience with being kept a secret. It's important to remember that you have the right to be open and honest about your relationships, and you should not have to hide your feelings or actions because of someone else's insecurities or concerns.
That being said, it's also important to take into account the potential consequences of being open about your relationship. If Rachel is prone to abusive behavior and has accused you of using Noel to get back at Robert in the past, it's possible that she may react negatively or even aggressively if she finds out about your relationship with Noel. This could be difficult and potentially dangerous for both you and Noel.
In this situation, it's important to have open and honest communication with Noel about your concerns and boundaries. Make it clear that you do not want to be kept a secret and that you want to be able to be open about your relationship. Ask him how he feels about this and if he is willing to be open about your relationship, even if it may cause conflict with Rachel.
It's also important to consider seeking support from a therapist or trusted friend or family member as you navigate this situation. It's understandable that your past experiences may make you paranoid and hesitant, and having someone to talk to and help you process your thoughts and feelings can be helpful.
Ultimately, the decision to continue or end things with Noel is up to you and what feels right for you. Trust your instincts and be honest with yourself and with Noel about what you want and need in a relationship.
As a fellow touch love language, it’s an absolute deal breaker for me.
My SOs love languages are respected and catered to. So when she indulges in mine it makes me feel loved and special.
You’ll never be satisfied if you aren’t being catered to.
That being said, you can address this with him and see if there is a change, or cut your loses and move on.
I particularly would like to be with someone I don’t have to remind to give me my one love language.
It’s never a bad idea to cut out of a relationship early if things are getting better.
I guess this is what happens when you knock up a 22-year old when you’re 35.
Wow I’m so sorry. My husband and I are trying. We had a bad miscarriage last spring.
He was absolutely nothing but supportive. He took care of me and made sure I had what I needed during and after. When we talked about when to try again his exact words were “Whenever you are ready. And we can even even consider other options if you don’t want to risk going through that again”
He has never pressured me or blamed me for what happened. Your husband needs to understand that there is A LOT of reasons you can miscarry and most we don’t understand.
Best advice is he needs to get counseling and educated about pregnancy. You could probably both benefit from couples therapy. Also maybe consider genetic testing for both of you. Genetic disorders are definitely a reason for miscarrying.
If you don’t want to get pregnant again that’s fine and your choice. You don’t have to. You guys may not be compatible in that way. Maybe look into surrogacy or adoption. If you guys can’t reach an agreement as to what you both want then it may be time to part ways.
Forcing yourself through it when you don’t want to could severely impact your mental health and well-being. Realistically as your partner, that should be your partners primary concern.
You claim you’re a conservative and believe only people in relationships should have sex but then you throw your believes out the window and cheat on your gf. If you want to experience more sex then break up with her
Here’s all I need to know to understand this situation: you said this was sort of for her birthday which was the week prior…
So on a random day you plan an incredible spa event coordinating multiple peole and even her job to make it happen?
What sort of surprise did you have for her birthday? What did you all do?
Did you tell her this was for her birthday? Did she know she was getting a surprise for her birthday weeks later?
Please tell me you didn’t forget her birthday and this was your attempt to redeem it?
“I don‘t feel comfortable with this anymore“
Because you come from an abusive background and have been normalized to excuse abuse.
hi, i just made another comment going into detail about my partners behavior, as i feel like i did not give enough context relating to that if you can give it a read.
Married her at 20 when he was 27, who knows how old she was when they started dating, of course he sees her as a child, that was the whole gross point.
Me over here married looking at the last three dogs I got that my husband didn’t want. That he probably loves more than he loves me.
I would have told him he’s exactly right I do love them more than him because they are far less controlling. Seriously though, he legit can’t tell you what you can and cannot do in your own home.
!remindme 2 months
You cannot reasonably expect a person to conform when you haven’t agreed what the rules are.
Define your relationship. If you’re unable or unwilling to have that conversation, then you’re just as unprepared for long-term commitment as you currently perceive him to be.
Talk, get in the same page, communicate your boundaries clearly. If you two come to an agreement, great. Otherwise, you’re judging a single man as if he’s not one. That’s seems silly.
Your wife is likely cheating on you. This all sounds so familiar.
Tbh, OP might dodge a bullet there.
If he’s bringing discussion back to class topics then sounds like he’s not interested, or sits next to u because you’re smarter than him
Exchange student basically. She said they're the host family
Why would you pay your boyfriend rent to live with him? Contribute towards the household, sure, but you aren't renting your side of the bed…
Anyway, legally “rent” while in a relationship is shaky ground. You would be seen as Contributing towards the mortgage in many countries/ states and you could be able to make a claim for all “rent” paid if you broke up. This stuff can get messy.
A joint mortgage is less messy, but you are not contributing towards the deposit so that would need to be considered.
Plus there's the age gap which is…. concerning.
Whatever you.do, take legal advice first. Don't get taken advantage of. Know.your rights.
he has dropped all of his friends and routinely tries to convince me why mine suck and I should drop them too
Uhm, what? Your boyfriend actively tries to create rifts between you and your friends?
Maybe stop doing this?
I’ve been giving him the benefit of the doubt for years because of stressful events going on in his life.
Stop enabling it and justifying his behavior. Stop giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Of course he would:
He says that i’m being too sensitive.
Take off your rose tinted glasses… Call it like it is. Your boyfriend is a toxic and dysfunctional partner.
You're trying to make a 'perfect' relationship with someone who is incapable of making that happen. This is not a healthy relationship IMO, and the potential has been reached.
We don’t know what kind of questions the dad was asking, if he was giving the boyfriend space, if anyone bothered to rein in the brother at all, etc.—a lot of it says things about the family dynamic. If he took one look at this, and despite really liking OP, knew they had their hooks in her really bad, he could have known that dating her meant a giant fiasco.
The family could have just meant well and been awkward, or it could be something totally different. My SO has a narcissist sibling that’s been unchecked and it’s really messed up the family dynamic. The guy has put a huge rift in the family and has ostracized multiple family members, one of whom is a sibling whose partner is infinitely more successful because they have a lucrative STEM career. Every time he saw the guy, he made a point to pick on him.
OP’s brother felt threatened because a guy was checks notes tall. He had every right to dip if no one told him to shut the fuck up.
That’s weird
Don’t confront him. If you like him you’ll be vulnerable to him apologising.
Just leave a note saying something like “I am sorry for your accident. I know I’m not a good girlfriend for leaving you over an accident – but I cannot accept any slips when it resolves in landing in another woman’s vagina. Don’t contact me, I wish you good luck in your life.”
And that’s it. He is blocked everywhere and you have left. You can piss in his milk or scrape his toothbrush under the toilet seat if it will make you feel better, but he does not deserve a reaction from you.
literally everything is wrong with this guy.
Jesus, she was barely more than a child. It's grossly unfair to hold a grown adult to account for a misdemeanor at the very beginning of their relationship.
Shut up.
High, just talked about the names, and he has apologized. Probably nothing to worry about, tbh.