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If she did it with you there will be another one. You don't need to do a thing. She will fuck up again all by herself. Just leave it be, move on. If the guy has good character judgement he will realise in time. Sleeping dogs lie!
Wow this is bad and more serious than people are making it out to be. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Are you guys minors? Please tell a trusted adult and go to the police before mentioning to your friend. This guy probably has done it in the past.
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If you've told him before and he hasn't changed, then it's because he doesn't care enough to stop. He knows what he's doing.
Break up.
Breaking the rules of the threesome is cheating.
Pregnancy is temporary and NOT an excuse to be unhealthy and gain tons of weight.
My friend, you absolutely did not allow yourself to get over the ex before jumping into something with this new girl.
I promise you, keeping a relationship going with someone you know isn't right for you will hurt you, and her, far more in the long term than a clean break now.
When you are single again, take some time to yourself to properly heal and work out what shape you want your life to take. Stop panicking about peers having children etc. One of my closest pals was over 50 before his children arrived, it's fine.
You are not a failure just because you haven't met your life partner yet, but it would be a failure to push through with something that you know is not right.
Good luck and stop expecting your path to be identical to your friends paths.
No you are fine. Have the conversation with bf about it. Personally I think you and he should move out.
Make sure his parents do not have any access to his banking information or accounts
You are old enough to make your own decisions, mate. We don't know either of you.
Thank you, it’s tough to not let the anger of it all consume me. He has her every weekend so it becomes a lot for me whenever she goes.
It sounds like your mom has anxiety or ocd. When you feed into her obsession by communicating immediately, you are enabling this maladaotive behavior. Set boundaries for her. Tell her to contact your friends if she hasn't heard from you in X number of hours/days. Tell her she has gone overboard this time. She well have a difficult time at first but eventually she'll get used to it.
If she can get professional help, that's even better. What she's doing is not healthy. And your abs your sis shouldn't have to suffer because of mom's illness.
It's a huge issue. I think you should break up for your own good. She's lucky btw, since you get “sleepy-depressed” and not “angry-depressed”.
You cannot be serious ?
I think you need a therapist to get to the bottom of this. Her behavior is strange (leaving jobs and not telling you). You obviously want her to change and start being nice..fair..and supportive.
I think a therapist would assist you in making the right decision..
I’m truly perplexed about why you would think any kind of clothing is inappropriate for watching movies. And to say you are trying to be prepared…for what? How does making fun of her clothing choices “prepare” you for anything at all?
so i asked him about the picture and he said that the first time he noticed that hair color looked good he saw it on someone in a state he was visting before he met me and so he googled that picture to show his bestfriend an example and said he’s never said another girl should dye her that color “only me” and his explore page was full of women until i brought it up to him two months ago and i haven’t seen any since.. not trying to defend him at all i’m jus seeing if you still have opinion?
Of course you tell him. You just told a bunch of strangers that I will not marry him. He deserves to know.
She needs to see a therapist and I would strongly recommend that you do too (separately, not couples counselling). This is going to be hellish for her to process and it won't be easy for you either. Getting a therapist yourself means that you can have the space to process your own feelings so that you can be healthily available to support her. She will need you but you also need to take care of yourself in this.
I think the easiest explanation might be the case, your husband has an office girlfriend and doesn't want her to find out he's married and cut him off. Who was the co-worker he made dinner plans with, a guy or a woman?
I may get hate for this from some, however…
Your graduation is a huge achievement, the culmination of many years of very hot work, long hours and potentially even blood, sweat and tears.
A wedding, whilst a fun party for those involved, isn't actually an achievement. People get married all the time, and half of them get divorced. You don't even need a wedding to have a marriage.
So I actually think it's pretty darn weird that rather than celebrate your actual achievement, your family not only would rather enjoy your brother's party, but also want you to forego celebrating your achievement to go to your brother's party.
Go to your graduation and cross that stage with huge amounts of pride. You've earned it.
Lots of people lose their virginity in a car. Not sure what your problem is
None of that is your fault or problem. He needs to stop putting her feelings above yours and also put a stop to her disrespect. It’s obvious she’s jealous of you and that’s not a good look.
I was in your position.
After the “exclusivity” talk he told me he had kept going on dates with people for a few weeks. Yeah, it stings. You got to decide if it's something to move on from or not.
Been with him 5 years now. We're planning our wedding. He's never done anything to make me question his loyalty.
Some people just really have to have the exclusivity talk before they solidify down, then they're locked down.
Yep. I’m an old man, but way back in 20th century it was pretty skeezy to sleep around when it was obvious you were interested in/dating someone. I ended a few potential relationships for similar stuff back then.
I have definitely considered this. Reading all of these comments has kind of opened my eyes to the severity of the problems I’m having with him. I did seriously threaten divorce a few months ago and he swore up and down that he would be better. But since then, nothing has changed and that was the only time he ever acknowledged that his behavior is shitty. I think I’ll have one more big talk with him, but if I still see the same patterns and the same laziness we won’t be sticking around.
Time for you to break up with her. She's lieing to you. Tell you it's a game when in fact she's going to hook up with guys.
She hasn't grown up yet. She wants to be single
Tell her, go play your game. I'm done with this relationship.
She has your number, Op. If she's interested in you she'll call. If she doesn't call you, that's your answer.
Can you elaborate on what you mean by don’t allow this to happen?
You need to make it abundantly clear to them just what the stakes here are.
You need to make it clear that you're hurt that they're choosing your cheating POS ex over you (it wasn't “an accident” or “a mistake”. He didn't fall dick first into her pussy, he chose to cheat on you.) Throw all that guilt back at them, that you are supposed to be family, that you are supposed to have each other's backs and that you're incredibly disappointed and hurt that they're not supporting you and are instead choosing to support him instead.
If they don't change course, they've had their chance, disappear and ghost out of their lives for a bit, focus on doing what's right for you.
Sorry to have bothered you. I don't deserve your kind words but thank you.
Yeah, I don’t even see why this information matters that much. Is it because he didn’t disclose he had been in a poly relationship before? Was he even poly?
Maybe this is my sign to get out of this relationship?
And
I don’t have it in me to fight for a relationship I don’t have the energy to fight for it I'm kind of revealed I don’t have to talk to him all of the time
Mentally you're checked out already.
Even with one of two people unwilling to fight it to work.. it won't work. Both people need to be invested.
So yes, perhaps its time to close this chapter and have a new beginning for yourself.
Should have kept it to yourself and gotten a pi. That was a rookie mistake. Now you will never know because she will only ever tell you what you already find out on your own. I would still get a pi they are worth’s very penny. And get her a polygraph test set up, if for nothing else but to scare her in to more confessions. Or you can continue on with your clueless asking and never get anywhere. She cheated and probably has before several times. Bottomline is your wife is garbage and the sooner you realize that the better.
True. Thank you for your input, sweet stranger.
you don't have to wonder. he was pretty fucking specific buddy.
he was also specific that they don't fuck their close friends and also don't TELL their close friends about this, and they only sleep with people together that they agree to in advance.
you sure are ignoring a lot of the text to make a non-existent point.