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1. Divergence in values doesn’t immediately mean incompatibility though lol. Very few people are exactly aligned in everything. There’s also a HUGE difference between having a more casual view on sex and not being capable of committed monogamy. I consider myself demisexual and extremely monogamous—the thought of sex with other people actively repulses me. My girlfriend, meanwhile, grew up with a casual view of sex and has experimented a lot over her life, but is totally committed to me. We trust each other, we talk constantly, we have zero issues despite this difference. I was also raised religious and she was raised agnostic… but we agree on most things and the areas where our values are slightly different are areas we have discussed at length and come to resolutions on.

   People are allowed to have whatever dealbreakers they want, but to let a relationship carry on for 3 years without talking about this and then immediately freak out when your partner doesn’t go “ew DISGUSTING, I’d NEVER be in an open relationship, EW” after you’ve both been watching a show and discussing open relationships just seems silly to me. Like… yeah, they should probably break up because this is clearly going to be a big deal for OP, but my point is that her reaction to a question HE asked is not indicative of actual intent. Not being opposed to something and seeing it as potentially fun =/= acting on it. And if this was a dealbreaker for him (her having a more casual view on sex) he should have asked at the start of their relationship instead of wasting both their time and feeling she’s not trustworthy/capable of fidelity anymore just because she’s not adamantly opposed to the idea.

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