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Oh boy. To answer your question: because viciousness, callousness, and being exploitative are punished by society, these people learn how to hide it very well.
Set all the boundaries you need, he's 100% in the wrong here. Don't let anything or anyone persuade you otherwise.
I've done all of the forensic snooping I can. It's funny: the only thing I found that really crushed me were charges to weight watchers from when it all started. She had our second kid, lost weight and started partying with strange men almost immediately. That was all I really needed to see.
So do you want to be wife or do you want to be loved?
I'm still in the throws of the relationship that i ended three months ago. To be honest, it would be comforting and help me move on if I could be certain I had in fact been dating a narcissist for four years of manipulating and cheating but all thanks to Josh Team on instagram @( JOSHTOHACK) for getting me accessed to her phone, i was able to see so much hiding secrets. Although enough examples were given here, I'm still too much in love with her to join up the dots!
if i were in your shoes, i wouldn't be too happy either. lets pretend for a minute that my boyfriend still somewhat likes his exes. (not on a romantic level of like) i dont like his exes simply because of the nasty things they did to him during that relationship. if he had exhausted all other options and it was 100% certain i couldnt get out of work, i would try to call someone in my family or another mutal friend of ours to come get them then as a last resort i would try again to get out
If ya wanna control the narrative- you need to be the one to tell him. I have always found it easier to process when I know things upfront
My company made me RSVP for me AND my wife on a company website, and we showed up together, AND ate together.
If it bothers you then tell him. “Baby, sometimes the way things come out of my mouth are not the way they sounded in my head. Yesterday I was trying to tell you how much I appreciate you coming Christmas shopping with me even though I know that it is difficult for you. I'm sorry that it didn't come out that way. I love you.”
Thank you for the very poignant words
Seriously…not sure he deserves that woman!
Yeah nah, when you're in a committed relationship or worse, married, you really don't want to hang out with single friends too much.
I’m grateful for everyone’s input even if I was wrong or I overreacted. I rather people be truthful and honest with me and blunt because with my trauma I sometimes don’t think clearly. So again thank you for your feedback.
No I mean when you overthink how do you handle it?
It sounds like you are more invested in this than she is – that’s can come across as desperate and needy which is really unattractive. Try and work on your thought process when a negative thought comes into your head. For every negative try and come up with 3 positives – I promise this will really help reframe how you look at thinks
Get your ducks in a row. Get your evidence, finances and emotions in order and file for divorce. Date men in your own age bracket going forward.
Also, just to let you know, I learned this in therapy a few years ago, him cheating has nothing to do with you. You can be perfect in every sense, a man that battles his own demons will cheat. Not making excuses for infidelity, just saying that you are good enough to be loved by someone who’s healed enough to care.
Best of luck to you!
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It sounds like you are in tremendous pain. But bending over backwards for your daughter is only making things worse.
“I always hoped you would grow out of the nasty, cruel way you treat me. But you seem permanently unhinged, and this latest decision to uninvite me to your wedding threatens your father's attendance. You can make me the evil witch of your life all you like, but you are the person who has refused to grow up and understand that you are incredibly fortunate and beautiful, save for the ugly insecurity you self-indulgently blame me for. You have been blessed with parents who love you, enormous financial advantage, and a fiance who obviously adores you, but that is not enough for you. Your envy is petty and contemptible, and the way you shirk your responsibility to grow out of this nonsense is pathetic. It is your responsibility to learn how to handle your feelings about the way the world treats other people, though I admit, I failed you by making myself less to try to help you overcome your emotional handicap. Instead, it has simply enabled your festering resentment of the way the world treats me, and you have destroyed our relationship through your jealousy. If this is all you can be as an adult, it isn't that I failed you — you failed yourself. And if you carry that foul failing with you into motherhood, I fear you will fail as much as a mother as you have as a daughter. For the good of your children, keep working on your mental health. I will do my best to urge your father to attend your wedding despite your latest vile tantrum. I love you, and I have always loved you, and I mourn for the daughter I lost who allowed the ugliness in her heart to destroy our relationship.”
She sounds crazy
Right. My husband has no social media, never has, and when I did I told him about posting a few pictures of us. He calmly explained that he doesn’t like having his picture out there, hence having no social media presence, and he’d prefer if I took it off. No threats. No anger. No cops.
I took them down and eventually deleted all of my social media too. Now I just send our pictures to our families in group chats.
A loving partner never threatens the other, especially with something like this.
That is true.
You need to decide what you want to do!! Take a few days alone and figure it out.
I’m sorry you and your sister were assaulted. Please go to the police as soon as possible. Your mother sucks for protecting whatever man in your house did this to you both. He needs to be dealt with by the law or else he’ll continue assaulting other women.
I did leave out that we have 2 children together, ages 6 and under.
She told you she has a low sex drive. You need to respect that or leave because you’re sexually incompatible
Thank you for saying this, so I know I’m not crazy. This isn’t the first time he’s done it.. it’s like he expects me to just be here when he feels like it and go away when he doesn’t. And he doesn’t care, he says that. So I should believe him.
she said, she was going to hide everything and let this pass, since there isn't anything between her and that guy….
Tell her it's because you don't want to help her clean
His justification of the gaming chair is he is paying it in payments. He’s only paid $30 towards it so far
Potentially bi? Not a big deal. Potentially gay? Bigger deal. Lying about drug use, drug purchases, sexual orientation, you, your relationship, and about five other important things? Big fucking deal!! Leave yesterday.
Actual advice : you follow your daughter's request and visit her without your partner. She's set a boundary and is not required to allow him into her home. You also stop dismissing his problematic behavior.
Come holidays if/when she's around him he should be on better behavior. If his opinion isn't asked for he DOES NOT share it, etc. Maybe eventually he earns her trust back, maybe not.
get out of this relationship ??????
Ringing alone = damage.
Ask her if she wants to be more than friends
ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT!!!
It could also be the the GF's friends don't like OP, some friends of mine have had significant others that we wish would've been kicked out while we were there.
Or fuck your monogamous best friend’s husband… wtf
We're figuring that out quickly. We are trying to resist, but it's tempting to talk about it more and about having kids in general. Especially cause we wanted some soon. Like next year. But this was too soon, mostly because of her health. Yes we have other financial and career issues but we honestly could of made that work. But the health problems are inevitable.
I mean maybe he’s secretly gay
Well yeah, your relationship is logically over if she has avoided seeing you for a month.
1000% fake. This person has made exactly 24 posts in their reddit lifetime. 22 of those 24 posts have been removed for various reasons, mostly spam, some scam free makeup nonsense, suicide topics, and general lack of following any sort of community guidelines. He/she has been warned multiple times that they will be banned from various subreddits, no way to know if it ever happened.
My favorite one is the one about owning 1 billion dogecoin or shibacoins or some other random crypto, I didn't look super very hot into it.
Also her husband is not only schizophrenic and clearly incapable of functioning as a parent, but also now bipolar on top of it. His psychotic episodes are many and frequent. Allegedly.
If it looks like a duck, and sounds like a duck…well you get the idea.
Yes, she told you the truth but that doesn't mean that she didn't have an ulterior motive for doing so. She made sure to trash your ex, compliment you, and then offer to come over to comfort you.
Why
Welcome to the adult world. Most couples only do stuff at the weekend.
Literally. Dumping your pregnant fiancé of over a decade a few weeks before the wedding is never going to go down well and you’re never going to come out of it in a good light. It may be the right thing to do but very cruel to her to leave it this late. How humiliating.
And she did them on herself as well? Maybe the issue wasn't you? I'd wait on a second opinion before making life changes.
Read the book The Gift of Fear. Right now, today.
Uh…I got nothin. Except to say if this is your line, and you feel it was crossed, and that you don’t think you can communicate that in a way that will make it unlikely to happen again then leaving would likely be the better option.
I was in a similar situation with a husband of more than 20 years, about 6 years ago.
A wise friend said to me that the two things we owe our intimate partners are our honesty, and our compassion. Tell him truthfully but kindly, as soon as you can.
Also, it is no favour to him for you to stay in this relationship. He also deserves to be with someone who's passionate about him. Unfortunately, you can't be that for him.
Good luck. You've got this, and you'll feel enormous relief once you've done it.
It’s really important to look after your health by losing dead weight (i.e. your a-hole bf)
Another thing I do sometimes, this may or may not work for you. But sometimes I'd get upset with myself for being too anxious or sad or whatever. The thing is, your brain is trying to protect you. Yes, it's going too far and giving you nightmares and anxiety. But your brain is reacting to what it perceives as a threat (your partner withdrawing), and it's basically telling you, “hey, we need to be worried about this!” Your brain has learned to be sensitive to these kinds of things as a self-defense mechanism, and it's working overtime.
So if this kind of thing happens again with you and your partner, you can also try telling your brain, “Thank you for trying to keep me safe, but everything is okay”. Might sound weird, but again basically you're trying to acknowledge what is happening and let it go.
In that situation she might…. Choose the guy she likes the most….
I understand, just read a lot about still being there but not too much. Just small texts that might help her miss the moments we did have. Everyone says don’t text or call but that was the problem in our relationship was some ignoring I was doing so she said she wanted to see change in me and reflect
I think the question you need to ask yourself is whether you’d want to marry someone who refuses to afford you basic privacy. Don’t put up with this unless you want to erode all of your autonomy in the relationship.
Real talk: if you complain you’ll probably just be fired. Especially only having worked there for a few month.
If you are being over worked that’s one thing. If you are taking on responsibilities that you did not sign up for that is reasonable to make it clear what you Can and can’t do. Especially if you are being over worked. But likely it’s too late now.
But, “I basically have two jobs so I should be paid more because fairness” is not a thing. That is not how jobs work. In addition, You already said they are not paying you fairly for the job you already signed up for.
Again you’ll probably just be fired in some duration afterwards. So it’s more about what career plans are, what you are willing to put up with, and your get out plan. If you try to negotiate you basically should have a plan lined up for being fired.
If you think the company will do right by you, your going to get fucked. One of the most basic life lessons you’ll learn when getting hired by the company post college companies don’t care about you, and will always try to exploit as much as they can from. Most situation Companies do not a reason to do right for you, so even you complain and they say everything is alright and good, legit would could put into motion getting your replacement while telling you everything is ok. You won’t even know you are fired the day before.
So in summery: you’ll probably not get compensated for taking in additional work, and if you complain, it will probably lead to getting fired. So if you are going to risk it you better have a plan for getting a new job. Realistically people get new employment as a way to get higher pay and career advancement.
The information here about your boyfriend suggests he sucks. And you don't need to reassure us that there are positive qualities (everyone thinks that about their partner), but I strongly suggest you think seriously about if he's the one you want to commit to.
That aside, he's being shady about her. You know it. If you want to be with someone that respects you, break up with him and find someone else.
*he doesn't give him money
I dont go to either & im single. Lol
What a stupid fucking response. It's not said anywhere that he CANNOT get her off. It's that sometimes he gets himself off and then goes to sleep, without even trying to please her. It is selfish and you need to read shit before you spout off. Telling her to “try toys” when she's clearly stated multiple times he has no issue making her orgasm is an idiotic and dick move.
nope , that's not the case at all. I just want to know if she's safe . just like a quick update..
OP, let’s assume she’s right and you have more potential and blah blah blah, do you want to be with someone who then says that basically everyone in you life is a loser? It is important to work on yourself, but you do it for yourself. This girl wants to change who you are and control who’s in your life and so on. If you were my son, I would encourage you to go to votech and get certified in something that you like and which you could earn a good living at, but I’d also tell you to dump this women because she does not value who you fundamentally are.
good for you for moving on!!!
He blocked you from everything. That is more than just “implying” you're broken up.
Second last name sounds reasonable to me!