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Stop making this about gender, it's weird and gross. Most people* would want a spouse that helps with chores and with whom they can compromise on unpleasant household duties. This definitely requires a real conversation. It's not impossible that she thinks it's less of a burden on him since he enjoys it and she does not, though it sounds like they have fought about it before and nothing has changed. While cooking itself is probably not a dealbreaker, it is a symptom of one: your partner needs to hear you out and make a good faith effort to meet your needs. If they won't, the relationship is failing. OP, I'm sorry this is happening to you. Con selling is a good idea but also maybe start the conversation by telling her that it's less about the cooking than the lack of respect, appreciation, and compromise. Sometimes reframing a fight as what it's really about helps them to see that it's not petty but actually a huge issue.