Sometimes you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find a Prince. ? Or being more serious, it's okay to enjoy sex and to want to explore. Everyone is different. I'd encourage you to find out the source of the shame you're feeling…
I played games all the time when I was single probably as much as him. When my girl and I moved in together I did make a compromise that I don’t hop on till she goes to bed. Granted I also work nights and keep my sleep schedule on days off so I have plenty of time more than most probably. If I do have a time where I’m gunna play with my friends I give her plenty of notice so it doesn’t seem like I’m just shutting her out. I’m also 10 years older than you guys so our time is more limited and the guys I play games with are busier as well.
Ultimately tho if he’s not willing to compromise and your needs aren’t being met you’re just gunna have to get out of that situation. He seems alittle addicted.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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You don’t understand the word, “hyperbole,” you are simply choosing to use a literal interpretation of a phrase, even though that phrase has a commonly understood meaning.
I want to talk to him about how I feel. I just don’t know how to make it sound better. A lot of the things that he has issues with is he has a lot of resentment and anger towards his dad not being there. I want him to open up to me about it, but he keeps saying that I won’t understand etc. he says it’s very hot to find the connection. I just would like to be there for him.
Go to the straight, pegging sub, Reddit. There’s many people that online happily with us. And actually enjoy it. It’s really gonna depend on his morality and ethics and if you want to do it. This is the time to find out before you make a huge commitment. If you don’t wanna do it don’t do it.
I think you need to ask your MIL to talk with your husband. And I think you should offer to be there when it happens and help navigate. Maybe you can chat with her how to best explain it to him in a way that softens the blow.
I don't think she has done anything wrong at all. I completely understand why she feels bad about the decision but in all honesty she made the tough, but best decision to protect her son and I don't blame his step dad either, I actually respect that.
I think you can perhaps help your husband navigate his feelings afterwards.
If MIL doesn't want to come clean, you may need to bring it up with husband because if he finds out you knew and kept it a secret for an extended period of time it could be trust breaking.
Leaving the marriage was fast (but not really since I was contemplating for years). Taking it slow with the bandmate in that we are long distance dating is slow.
Nope, even if it was just that, it was communicated clearly, and she still overstepped. Adding more context can help, but he still explicitly said what he was going to do and she fucked with his plans. He didn't do anything wrong. He doesn't need to apologize, and she needs to stop making this about herself.
This is apparently something that's important to him, and no one gives a shit including his girlfriend. It doesn't have to make sense, no one has to fully understand it, but it should be respected.
You may trust him but this doesnt sound like a matter of personalities. It sounds like you're insecure and telling yourself that there's nothing you can do to change the situation is setting yourself up for failure. If you truly felt secure in yourself/the relationship, this wouldnt be a problem. Now it might be something within yourself or you might be in denial about a chink in your relationship. Either way, since you plan on marrying this guy, you should consider therapy.
Well, I was trying not to say that you sound like you're fixating on something that is not important and that anyone your age should be able to handle easily.
Where did you work before this job? Did you have any similar issues?
Oh, also I see that I have a typo that made my response confusing. It should read: Are you new to the work world?
Depends on what you're looking for; Is it a relationship or something casual?
Ya'll haven't even been on a date or sat down to have a conversation and his already pushing for an overnight stay, talk and figure out if that's someone you want.
So like my (38f) wife (35f) and I got married when we were yalls age. Here’s the best piece of advice I have:
You’re looking at this ALL wrong.
Dude when folks get married it’s because they met the right person and couldn’t imagine a future without them. You’re looking at marriage as some sort of transactional thing. Like you’re doing all this so you SHOULD be married. Why is marriage so important to you now? Is it because you feel like you need to be or you just want the title?
Wifey and I had our wedding in 2010. We only got married because I made a joke to her about how we’re already living like an old married couple and she asked why we weren’t married. I let her know neither of us asked the other and she immediately asked me on the spot. It just HAPPENED. Neither of us even thought about getting married but in that moment it seemed right.
TALK TO YOUR PARTNER!! Does he know how you feel about marriage? Does he want to even GET married at some point?
If you’re in a long term relationship with someone yeah it’s gonna seem like a marriage because marriage is just a long ass relationship with legal protections and tax benefits. You’re right YALL are totally living like a married couple. That’s what couples who online together before marriage DO. It’s literally the same shit.
Pull back because you’re burnt out, want more equality but don’t put less work in your relationship because you don’t wanna act like youre married without being married. If you wanted to go that route fam y’all shouldn’t have moved in together.
Be happy and be in love but don’t try to manipulate the situation into marriage. Neither of y’all will be happy.
2 months before our wedding I had a bit of a melt down because I had been out of work for a few months and felt like I couldn't provide for her in the way I wanted to because finances were tight.
You should elaborate a bit more here. Do you share finances? Is she aware about your savings, income etc.? Before you called off the wedding, did you actually talk to her and discuss how to move forward together?
She doesn't understand how tight finances are, and that I cant just pull money out of my ass to make her feel “secure in the relationship”.
Are you sure she's actually talking about finances? In your post, her saying she wants to feel “secure” could simply mean being with someone who keeps their promises and doesn't just call off a wedding.
I really dont what words would be great to say but what i can say is speak honestly and from the heart but no so honest that it sounds like a personal attack
Sounds like you're the one who will need to have a conversation with her and set boundaries. The real question is, will your partner back you up? Because she's likely to say that he doesn't mind.
I promise you those who love you will make the trip and/or wait for you to come back knowing this is something to further your future. You’ll have breaks, Skype, FaceTime, etc. I promise you it’ll FLY by.
Girl he is isolating you from friends, family etc. and controls you. These are the first signs of a toxic relationship, and it will be even more toxic. You‘ll feel trapped, isolated, depressed, anxious and unhappy overall if you keep staying with this man.
If you take birth control or go out at nights is none of his business. He can express his concern, but he cannot make decisions for you or force you to stop doing what you like doing.
This guy is a red flag and he only has a relationship with you because women his age KNOW that he is a manipulative and controlling asshole. They have more experience than you, or I, which is why they target younger, inexperienced women.
Don‘t build a life with him, build a wall between you two and never break it.
Go ask your sister for help, ask your friends for advice and dump his ass.
The thought is already in her head. I would consider breaking up. If you said boundaries and she brings it up again she'll continue to bring it up again.
How are you supposed to solve his wandering dick problem? I'm dying to know. Because not being around people he wants to put his dick in I thought was a pretty good solution, but he didn't like that idea. You're basically watching him fuck other women while he tells you “why aren't you trying harder to stop me?”
It isn't OP's job to go around policing the world. This isn't a close friend but more of an acquaintance.
Have you ever heard the term “Don't kill the messenger”? Some people wouldn't thank you for bringing them bad news. If OP knew this person well then defo divulge the info, otherwise it is well to think before you act.
I definitely agree it’s a very hot time difference. I sleep odd hours though so I’m definitely awake enough to create some overlap, he just doesn’t seem to try and take any time to even message me to say “hey, I’m going to be busy today” or absolutely anything. So I guess it was just a big shock going from talking practically all day every day to not at all with no communication about it. I’ve even asked when a good time to call would be for him so I could work it into my schedule but there’s been absolutely no follow through from his end, even when he says he wants to. I think it’s just an unfortunate situation
Hm, antidepressants can affect people in different ways, in theory negative psychological effects should subside after a month or so. If you want to leave her, this is fine, you don't need much of a reason other that you don't love anymore.
On assumption, you would like to stay with her assuming, she can go back to her old self we should address the negative effects of the medication. If they remain after over a month, she would have the choice to switch them, and go through the adjustment process again, or stay on them, but in this case you need to leave her.
While there are different kinds of antidepressants, a lot of them are based on similar substances, and causes similar side effects. You can expect your gf to have no sexual drive btw. If that is the case, and it bothers you, leave her without feeling guilty over it.
I guess medication based on Wellbutrin substance is from a different group of substances, but it has it's own side effects as well.
His jealousy is out of control. Being neurodivergent is one thing, being controlling about male friends, colleagues and even acquaintances is another. Give him an ultimatum to back off and work on his security in his connection with you or you’ll leave, because policing your interactions with other men like this isn’t healthy when he knows you guys are exclusive.
Touch grass
Sometimes you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find a Prince. ? Or being more serious, it's okay to enjoy sex and to want to explore. Everyone is different. I'd encourage you to find out the source of the shame you're feeling…
You want your wife back but it doesn't sound like she wants you. It looks like she checked out.
She doesn't respect your boundaries ergo she doesn't respect you. If she doesn't respect you she doesn't love you….
I'd begin gathering evidence, protect your assets and above all contact an attorney if I were you.
You missed a golden opportunity to have “butt fuck” in there!
Delete and mostly, block her. I doubt this is a minor as well.
I played games all the time when I was single probably as much as him. When my girl and I moved in together I did make a compromise that I don’t hop on till she goes to bed. Granted I also work nights and keep my sleep schedule on days off so I have plenty of time more than most probably. If I do have a time where I’m gunna play with my friends I give her plenty of notice so it doesn’t seem like I’m just shutting her out. I’m also 10 years older than you guys so our time is more limited and the guys I play games with are busier as well.
Ultimately tho if he’s not willing to compromise and your needs aren’t being met you’re just gunna have to get out of that situation. He seems alittle addicted.
I’m aware. But why haven’t I caught it if he’s had it since before our relationship of 2 years?!
Are you positive that it’s an antibiotic? If so, it’s not herpes or HPV because those are viruses.
Are you sure your boyfriend understood what the doctor told him?
This isnt love you don't know her
Yeah just break up.
I mean this post is just screaming you’re naive tbh
Shouldn't have happened even once. You're okay with that apparently. Piece of shit.
The best politicians rope other people into fighting their battles.
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You don’t understand the word, “hyperbole,” you are simply choosing to use a literal interpretation of a phrase, even though that phrase has a commonly understood meaning.
Assuming there was sex initially which then stopped, I have to wonder if you're not a very skillful lover?
I want to talk to him about how I feel. I just don’t know how to make it sound better. A lot of the things that he has issues with is he has a lot of resentment and anger towards his dad not being there. I want him to open up to me about it, but he keeps saying that I won’t understand etc. he says it’s very hot to find the connection. I just would like to be there for him.
Go to the straight, pegging sub, Reddit. There’s many people that online happily with us. And actually enjoy it. It’s really gonna depend on his morality and ethics and if you want to do it. This is the time to find out before you make a huge commitment. If you don’t wanna do it don’t do it.
I think you need to ask your MIL to talk with your husband. And I think you should offer to be there when it happens and help navigate. Maybe you can chat with her how to best explain it to him in a way that softens the blow.
I don't think she has done anything wrong at all. I completely understand why she feels bad about the decision but in all honesty she made the tough, but best decision to protect her son and I don't blame his step dad either, I actually respect that.
I think you can perhaps help your husband navigate his feelings afterwards.
If MIL doesn't want to come clean, you may need to bring it up with husband because if he finds out you knew and kept it a secret for an extended period of time it could be trust breaking.
Leaving the marriage was fast (but not really since I was contemplating for years). Taking it slow with the bandmate in that we are long distance dating is slow.
Does your gf like that you drop by with treats? And does she know beforehand when you’re dropping by?
Nope, even if it was just that, it was communicated clearly, and she still overstepped. Adding more context can help, but he still explicitly said what he was going to do and she fucked with his plans. He didn't do anything wrong. He doesn't need to apologize, and she needs to stop making this about herself.
This is apparently something that's important to him, and no one gives a shit including his girlfriend. It doesn't have to make sense, no one has to fully understand it, but it should be respected.
You may trust him but this doesnt sound like a matter of personalities. It sounds like you're insecure and telling yourself that there's nothing you can do to change the situation is setting yourself up for failure. If you truly felt secure in yourself/the relationship, this wouldnt be a problem. Now it might be something within yourself or you might be in denial about a chink in your relationship. Either way, since you plan on marrying this guy, you should consider therapy.
Well, I was trying not to say that you sound like you're fixating on something that is not important and that anyone your age should be able to handle easily.
Where did you work before this job? Did you have any similar issues?
Oh, also I see that I have a typo that made my response confusing. It should read: Are you new to the work world?
9 years, you aren’t married and you don’t work. He is setting you up for a life or failure.
There is zero reason for you to be a “stay at home girlfriend”. Get a job and a support network.
Go to your moms wedding and don’t return to this man
Depends on what you're looking for; Is it a relationship or something casual?
Ya'll haven't even been on a date or sat down to have a conversation and his already pushing for an overnight stay, talk and figure out if that's someone you want.
So like my (38f) wife (35f) and I got married when we were yalls age. Here’s the best piece of advice I have:
You’re looking at this ALL wrong.
Dude when folks get married it’s because they met the right person and couldn’t imagine a future without them. You’re looking at marriage as some sort of transactional thing. Like you’re doing all this so you SHOULD be married. Why is marriage so important to you now? Is it because you feel like you need to be or you just want the title?
Wifey and I had our wedding in 2010. We only got married because I made a joke to her about how we’re already living like an old married couple and she asked why we weren’t married. I let her know neither of us asked the other and she immediately asked me on the spot. It just HAPPENED. Neither of us even thought about getting married but in that moment it seemed right.
TALK TO YOUR PARTNER!! Does he know how you feel about marriage? Does he want to even GET married at some point?
If you’re in a long term relationship with someone yeah it’s gonna seem like a marriage because marriage is just a long ass relationship with legal protections and tax benefits. You’re right YALL are totally living like a married couple. That’s what couples who online together before marriage DO. It’s literally the same shit.
Pull back because you’re burnt out, want more equality but don’t put less work in your relationship because you don’t wanna act like youre married without being married. If you wanted to go that route fam y’all shouldn’t have moved in together.
Be happy and be in love but don’t try to manipulate the situation into marriage. Neither of y’all will be happy.
2 months before our wedding I had a bit of a melt down because I had been out of work for a few months and felt like I couldn't provide for her in the way I wanted to because finances were tight.
You should elaborate a bit more here. Do you share finances? Is she aware about your savings, income etc.? Before you called off the wedding, did you actually talk to her and discuss how to move forward together?
She doesn't understand how tight finances are, and that I cant just pull money out of my ass to make her feel “secure in the relationship”.
Are you sure she's actually talking about finances? In your post, her saying she wants to feel “secure” could simply mean being with someone who keeps their promises and doesn't just call off a wedding.
Yes but only for about 5 minutes
I really dont what words would be great to say but what i can say is speak honestly and from the heart but no so honest that it sounds like a personal attack
? ?
Sounds like you're the one who will need to have a conversation with her and set boundaries. The real question is, will your partner back you up? Because she's likely to say that he doesn't mind.
It’s definitely not ok. And I do think he needs therapy for thinking I would support him through this?! He has lost is fkn mind.
I promise you those who love you will make the trip and/or wait for you to come back knowing this is something to further your future. You’ll have breaks, Skype, FaceTime, etc. I promise you it’ll FLY by.
Girl he is isolating you from friends, family etc. and controls you. These are the first signs of a toxic relationship, and it will be even more toxic. You‘ll feel trapped, isolated, depressed, anxious and unhappy overall if you keep staying with this man.
If you take birth control or go out at nights is none of his business. He can express his concern, but he cannot make decisions for you or force you to stop doing what you like doing.
This guy is a red flag and he only has a relationship with you because women his age KNOW that he is a manipulative and controlling asshole. They have more experience than you, or I, which is why they target younger, inexperienced women.
Don‘t build a life with him, build a wall between you two and never break it.
Go ask your sister for help, ask your friends for advice and dump his ass.
Also condoms are free. You can even get them in the mail.
The thought is already in her head. I would consider breaking up. If you said boundaries and she brings it up again she'll continue to bring it up again.
I think you’re just complicating matters unnecessarily.
How are you supposed to solve his wandering dick problem? I'm dying to know. Because not being around people he wants to put his dick in I thought was a pretty good solution, but he didn't like that idea. You're basically watching him fuck other women while he tells you “why aren't you trying harder to stop me?”
No
It isn't OP's job to go around policing the world. This isn't a close friend but more of an acquaintance.
Have you ever heard the term “Don't kill the messenger”? Some people wouldn't thank you for bringing them bad news. If OP knew this person well then defo divulge the info, otherwise it is well to think before you act.
I definitely agree it’s a very hot time difference. I sleep odd hours though so I’m definitely awake enough to create some overlap, he just doesn’t seem to try and take any time to even message me to say “hey, I’m going to be busy today” or absolutely anything. So I guess it was just a big shock going from talking practically all day every day to not at all with no communication about it. I’ve even asked when a good time to call would be for him so I could work it into my schedule but there’s been absolutely no follow through from his end, even when he says he wants to. I think it’s just an unfortunate situation
Wear whatever you want, it’s your body and if your nipples are on show, go girl
They always end up deleting their accounts. What happened ? Can't take the heat ?
Hm, antidepressants can affect people in different ways, in theory negative psychological effects should subside after a month or so. If you want to leave her, this is fine, you don't need much of a reason other that you don't love anymore.
On assumption, you would like to stay with her assuming, she can go back to her old self we should address the negative effects of the medication. If they remain after over a month, she would have the choice to switch them, and go through the adjustment process again, or stay on them, but in this case you need to leave her.
While there are different kinds of antidepressants, a lot of them are based on similar substances, and causes similar side effects. You can expect your gf to have no sexual drive btw. If that is the case, and it bothers you, leave her without feeling guilty over it.
I guess medication based on Wellbutrin substance is from a different group of substances, but it has it's own side effects as well.
His jealousy is out of control. Being neurodivergent is one thing, being controlling about male friends, colleagues and even acquaintances is another. Give him an ultimatum to back off and work on his security in his connection with you or you’ll leave, because policing your interactions with other men like this isn’t healthy when he knows you guys are exclusive.