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You have a very low chance of convincing your wife to stay away from her parents. It's just not something that is done in that society. Unfortunately, you should have talked about this before children were involved, but, now all you can do is mitigate the damage.
The baby won't understand racism for a couple years, so you can see how it goes, grandparents saying racist things-wise. If they are bad about it, it's unfortunate, but all you can do is support your children and explain, in age-appropriate terms that their grandparents are wrong for their racist remarks, and why what they are saying is wrong. I wouldn't do this in a bitter, angry way, but a “unfortunately, this is how the world works” sort of way. You have to face it this way because you chose to have children with a partner who refuses to cut off intolerant parents, and approaching it angrily will only scare and confuse the child/cause conflict in your marriage (if you intend to keep the marriage intact.)
Teaching your child(ren) coping skills to handle racism is going to be key here, because, together or no, your wife will most likely continue to bring any children around her parents no matter how you feel about it. In Asian cultures, your birth family is often emphasized over any family you create through marriage. Some Asian people are able to escape the toxicity this creates, but many are unwilling or unable to.
Good luck to you, I'm sorry that you're facing this.
You have a very low chance of convincing your wife to stay away from her parents. It's just not something that is done in that society. Unfortunately, you should have talked about this before children were involved, but, now all you can do is mitigate the damage.
The baby won't understand racism for a couple years, so you can see how it goes, grandparents saying racist things-wise. If they are bad about it, it's unfortunate, but all you can do is support your children and explain, in age-appropriate terms that their grandparents are wrong for their racist remarks, and why what they are saying is wrong. I wouldn't do this in a bitter, angry way, but a “unfortunately, this is how the world works” sort of way. You have to face it this way because you chose to have children with a partner who refuses to cut off intolerant parents, and approaching it angrily will only scare and confuse the child/cause conflict in your marriage (if you intend to keep the marriage intact.)
Teaching your child(ren) coping skills to handle racism is going to be key here, because, together or no, your wife will most likely continue to bring any children around her parents no matter how you feel about it. In Asian cultures, your birth family is often emphasized over any family you create through marriage. Some Asian people are able to escape the toxicity this creates, but many are unwilling or unable to.
Good luck to you, I'm sorry that you're facing this.