This is a situation that you have both allowed to happen. She is acting as a perpetual teenager wtihout responsibility or independence, and you have enabled it. You have named a lot of things that are BIG issues in a relationship, so I'm not sure what you mean by “little issue outside of this”. Perhaps you might mean that you don't fight and you are both polite to each other. But that is hardly a relationship! In a relationship, regardless of who “makes the big bucks”, you should both feel that you are equals in the relationship. It is a relationship killer when one person is doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship and the other just coasts.
You have mentioned that:
She is not taking the initiative to get a job or get on track toward a career She does not take the initiative to do any chores (and even though you hear more about the ones that don't, there are tons of kids who do this without being nagged constantly) She does not contribute financially, in fact, you support her 100% She is not providing you any emotional support, which sounds like you would need when you are working 2 full-time jobs and caring for a sick father! You no longer have sexual relationship
Turning yourself into a doormat pleases noone, least of all yourself. Honestly, if I had a nickel for every post I've read where it turns out that the leech partner has been cheating in one way or another out of boredom…. Anyway, I'm not saying that is what is going on here. But I am sorry to say that you do not have a healthy relationship.
If you are holding back your real feelings and problems from her, you are creating distance in your relationship – you're not growing together. You are just two people sharing space and being superficially nice to one another. And you are the one who is treating her as a child who can't handle these “adult” situations – reinforcing your parent/child dynamic.
She isn't a child though. You don't improve the relationship by holding back the truth. You can say things kindly but you also need to express your own needs. You have held back from having your own financial, emotional, and sexual needs (not to mention, you must be exhausted) met for so long it's not surprising if all that ends up being left is resentment. You're resenting her because she is acting like a child, but she also could come to resent you for holding it over her and being cranky and withdrawn all the time. You need a partner to STEP UP. Honestly, dogs are less work and provide more.
Let's put it this way though, the longer you allow this to go on, the harder it is for her to start getting back into the work world and living life as an adult.
Start talking to her. Have real conversations instead of over-editing your thoughts. Ask her if she is happy with how things are now. What goals does she have for herself this year? When does she see herself being fully employed because you are almost at your breaking point. And honestly, what does she do every day all day if she isn't employed? How does she spend her time? And the big one, does she think she is depressed? If so, can you two work on a plan to actively address that? Final note: your weight gain may also be related directly to the stress you are under. Good luck!
Sorry dude she's cheating on you. The male friend came over, slept in your bed (and she replied she slept on the couch which is a total lie) and cuddled your wife. Most times cuddling happens after sex. It might have happened.
You need to get all the proof so she can't gaslight you. If you confront her rn she'd make up lies and make you question your judgement. Hire a PI and talk to a divorce attorney.
Block and delete. It’s a game to put you on the back burner. The viewing your stories is to make sure you see his name come up so you can wonder about him and he can be on your mind. Ego boost for him. Opposite for you. Never ends well.
I hate the term “age gap”. The “gap” is based on the stage where your life is at. Are you two at the same stage and have the same emotional maturity? If so, go for the relationship, otherwise, don't.
She didn't make you look like a joke. You did that to yourself. It wasn't about you, but you made it so. You going silent and displaying your insecurities by leaving are all on you. Just giving you a reality check, not trying to be mean. You could've ignored it, you could've chimed in and say he does look great in a suit. There's a myriad of ways that you could've responded, but you chose to take it as a slight and leave. How you felt is solely based on your reaction, filtered through your trauma. You don't want to create an environment where your partner has to mince their words, because that's how you teach people to be dishonest to you.
If you stay with this man who is choking you and smashing your face, along with a sea of abusive behaviour, you will die. If you are still with him in a year and are still alive and recognizable, email me and I'll send you $1000. Dm me and I'll give you my email. Really. That's how confident I am that you can not, will not survive a year with this escalating abuse. I don't mean you'll leave him, I mean you'll leave this mortal plane of existence. Do not take that bet.
Run away. Don’t look back.
This is a situation that you have both allowed to happen. She is acting as a perpetual teenager wtihout responsibility or independence, and you have enabled it. You have named a lot of things that are BIG issues in a relationship, so I'm not sure what you mean by “little issue outside of this”. Perhaps you might mean that you don't fight and you are both polite to each other. But that is hardly a relationship! In a relationship, regardless of who “makes the big bucks”, you should both feel that you are equals in the relationship. It is a relationship killer when one person is doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship and the other just coasts.
You have mentioned that:
She is not taking the initiative to get a job or get on track toward a career She does not take the initiative to do any chores (and even though you hear more about the ones that don't, there are tons of kids who do this without being nagged constantly) She does not contribute financially, in fact, you support her 100% She is not providing you any emotional support, which sounds like you would need when you are working 2 full-time jobs and caring for a sick father! You no longer have sexual relationship
Turning yourself into a doormat pleases noone, least of all yourself. Honestly, if I had a nickel for every post I've read where it turns out that the leech partner has been cheating in one way or another out of boredom…. Anyway, I'm not saying that is what is going on here. But I am sorry to say that you do not have a healthy relationship.
If you are holding back your real feelings and problems from her, you are creating distance in your relationship – you're not growing together. You are just two people sharing space and being superficially nice to one another. And you are the one who is treating her as a child who can't handle these “adult” situations – reinforcing your parent/child dynamic.
She isn't a child though. You don't improve the relationship by holding back the truth. You can say things kindly but you also need to express your own needs. You have held back from having your own financial, emotional, and sexual needs (not to mention, you must be exhausted) met for so long it's not surprising if all that ends up being left is resentment. You're resenting her because she is acting like a child, but she also could come to resent you for holding it over her and being cranky and withdrawn all the time. You need a partner to STEP UP. Honestly, dogs are less work and provide more.
Let's put it this way though, the longer you allow this to go on, the harder it is for her to start getting back into the work world and living life as an adult.
Start talking to her. Have real conversations instead of over-editing your thoughts. Ask her if she is happy with how things are now. What goals does she have for herself this year? When does she see herself being fully employed because you are almost at your breaking point. And honestly, what does she do every day all day if she isn't employed? How does she spend her time? And the big one, does she think she is depressed? If so, can you two work on a plan to actively address that? Final note: your weight gain may also be related directly to the stress you are under. Good luck!
If you used to have a meaningful relationship, then it would be a good thing to reach out and appologise.
Sorry dude she's cheating on you. The male friend came over, slept in your bed (and she replied she slept on the couch which is a total lie) and cuddled your wife. Most times cuddling happens after sex. It might have happened.
You need to get all the proof so she can't gaslight you. If you confront her rn she'd make up lies and make you question your judgement. Hire a PI and talk to a divorce attorney.
Its harder to break up than to cheat? dont be the reason this dude needs to heal for the next decade. fuck sakes
Block and delete. It’s a game to put you on the back burner. The viewing your stories is to make sure you see his name come up so you can wonder about him and he can be on your mind. Ego boost for him. Opposite for you. Never ends well.
I hate the term “age gap”. The “gap” is based on the stage where your life is at. Are you two at the same stage and have the same emotional maturity? If so, go for the relationship, otherwise, don't.
Get a paternity test, than see a lawyer for legal advice about custody and child support. Many parents co-parent without being in a relationship.
I don't want or need the pain of either situation.
50 dollars says he is full of shit. Cheating once may be a mistake 3x is an agenda
She didn't make you look like a joke. You did that to yourself. It wasn't about you, but you made it so. You going silent and displaying your insecurities by leaving are all on you. Just giving you a reality check, not trying to be mean. You could've ignored it, you could've chimed in and say he does look great in a suit. There's a myriad of ways that you could've responded, but you chose to take it as a slight and leave. How you felt is solely based on your reaction, filtered through your trauma. You don't want to create an environment where your partner has to mince their words, because that's how you teach people to be dishonest to you.
If you stay with this man who is choking you and smashing your face, along with a sea of abusive behaviour, you will die. If you are still with him in a year and are still alive and recognizable, email me and I'll send you $1000. Dm me and I'll give you my email. Really. That's how confident I am that you can not, will not survive a year with this escalating abuse. I don't mean you'll leave him, I mean you'll leave this mortal plane of existence. Do not take that bet.
She may have. We don’t know because Mr. ‘oh no, I have to penetrate her the way she likes’ is the narrator.
Nah cuz that’s literally what I was thinking when I read the post. Like how dumb is she ?