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“I firmly believe this can happen to anyone, and the important thing is that you're wise enough to GTFO once you see it. “
Exactly. Maybe there were red flags but the truth is it can be really hot to tell the difference between “nobody is perfect” and actual issues, especially when you’re young and have less life experience. There is a tendency for people to say you should have known but I think they are projecting their fears, thinking‘but it couldn’t happen to me.’ Stay strong and stay away, you’re absolutely doing the right thing!
So what was your “protection” then? Pulling out? Jesus Christ. Because in a previous comment you said your “protection” had failed. Proper protection is birth control like Depo, IUD, condoms….
Move on.
“Trust me,bro” isn’t a source.
Yea they sometimes give a time, usually if they have something going on. We used to play pretty consistently until school flared up and I just expect them on at a certain time unless they mention anything different. That feeling is mutual, I tell them when I'm not on and such and I'm usually on first
As for feelings I have no idea. That's a work in progress for me
If he has a vasectomy then the wife's choice remains the exact same as it does now. Either stay and stop pushing for another baby or leave and possibly have a baby with someone else. Without a vasectomy, OP will be at risk every time they have sex that she has messed with a condom or doesn't stop before the finale as he has been.
If he does not want more children it is 100% his choice and his choice alone to get a vasectomy even being married. It is then his wife's choice to stay or go. He is not hiding it. He has been clear about his feelings. There is no compromise here. If my husband was suddenly deciding that he wanted a child after being (in our case) child free for our whole relationship and decided to nag me and “punish” me by withholding affection in an effort to make me give in (not change my mind but give in which is what OP's wife cares about) then I would go get my tubes tied and he could decide if he wants to stay in this relationship. They have discussed this previously and were in agreement to not having more children.
OP has tried discussing it with his wife and she has not budged after almost a year considering she started this after their DIL's pregnancy was announced and the baby was born last month. They need to go to counseling or separate at this point and in the meantime he shouldn't be intimate with her if he cannot trust her and/or get a vasectomy. HE DOES NOT WANT ANOTHER KID and it is fully within his right to make sure he is not made to have one against his will. The only amicable resolution available is if the wife comes out of her midlife crisis and that doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon.
I'd call friends or family or go to his house or his family's house. This isn't good or acceptable in any way on a holiday when plans are made. Geniunely hoping the best for you.
If they don't know where he's at its time to go to the cops and ask if they've seen him or have accountability for him.
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you are 100% right, i watched my mom in her abusive relationship my whole entire childhood, and while I realized at the time how wrong and sick it was, how upset it made me, and how i'd never EVER understand why my mom kept him around, my boyfriend even when intoxicated will make a huge point to not hit me because that would ultimately be crossing the real “line”. Both of our home lives are pretty similar so maybe its just the influences we grew up with, desensitization to physical abuse, but i just know if he were to physically hit me, that likely would be my final last straw, I just love him so much I want to give him the absolute benefit of the doubt that he could change how he acts when he's mad.
Oh, I wasn't even talking about the “die” part, just pointing out that he only cares about his granddaughter, not his daughter.
is anyone else playing the age gap drinking game? it's pretty early where I am~ might be too early to start drinking. maybe we could turn it into a pot smoking game.
You’re the only one here who needs mental help
Will try this, thanks 😉
It’s traumatic. So much so, I could see him goin back to previous partners. You can’t ever separate a truly bonded pair. Are they truly bonded? Cuddle together? Share a lifted box?
Offer her $ for both cats. That’s the only solution honestly. Good luck.
I would not be happy about that. I would have a convo with him that sex requires consent. No one is drunk, no one is high, no one is asleep, no one is sleep walking, no one ‘accidentally’ goes in the wrong door. Any further instances of him doing sexual things while I can’t or didn’t consent would result in an instant do not pass go dumping and a public outing.
It’s one thing to try and wake you up to initiate sex. Kisses, cuddles, sweet talk? Sure. It’s another thing to use your sleeping hand for a hand job. That’s gross.
Queer people and kinksters are light years ahead of heterosexual people in educating and talking about consent. Don’t have sex with a sleeping person seems really basic to me.
Yes, this is an eating disorder. Really he knows this too, but if he admits it then he has to do something about it. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. As someone who also suffers with an ED, you can’t bear the weight of trying to fix him. It just isn’t possible unless he’s willing. I’m sorry that doesn’t sound helpful and I wish I had solutions, I just want to reassure you that you aren’t expected to carry the weight of his world on your shoulders. All the best x
without looking in the details? Your “friend” tried to sleep your with your gf?
1) reward your gf. Props to her.
2) He's not your friend. You have 0 reason to defend or not tell.
3) she (his GF) is your friend. you have every reason to let her know what happened.
Acting rash would be hitting on his gf after he goes home for the night.
Acting responsibly is telling your friend that your ex-friend hit on your gf.
I’ve been black out drunk plenty of times and used to do a lot of drugs when I was younger. Never once did I mistake someone for my SO at the time. Never even mistaken a friend. So I’m calling BS
80% of sexually active people have it which means like 5% of reddit does.
He’s going to argue that he can engage with any woman in any disrespectful way that he wants to, even lie to them about his relationship status and talk shit on his partner to them, but until he sticks his dick in them, it’s not really cheating.
Even if they can’t agree on what constitutes as cheating, can he look her in the eyes and genuinely say that his behavior wasn’t disrespectful to his wife/girlfriend and their relationship? Even if it wasn’t cheating, can he at least admit that what he did and said disrespected their relationship?
This is so crazy
If you're going to lose him over this then he is not worth it. The right guy would be happy for you
NO DO NOT DELETE ANYTHING. NONE OF IT. NO.
A trip that is worth 2k? With another woman??? Like honey, no. You absolutely take a stand for yourself and set some boundaries. You are not being a jealous wife. You are his PREGNANT WIFE. What is he doing having a trip with another woman?
Not to mention you are ready to pop any minute. What if something were to happen while he was gone? This is not the right time for a trip nor is that woman the right person for your husband’s trip.
I've learned that mentioning engagement rings here is a sure way to bring the misogynists crawling out of the woodwork. People who think women should be grateful for whatever scraps of attention or care that a man chooses to toss them cannot WAIT to pounce on any complaints about proposals or rings, no matter how serious or valid.
God forbid someone wants to like a piece of jewelry they will be wearing every day for the rest of her life, or hopes that her partner could muster up one thing he likes about her while asking to spend the rest of their lives together.
I feel like a journal kept in an app that can't be used for communication should be off limits. You can't demand access to your partner's diary.
This isn't about his dental work. You're just sick of this guy and so everything he does annoys you. How to break up depends on whether this is a real engagement – meaning you've got a venue and a caterer booked, or just one of those 'let's call ourselves engaged but never actually get married' kinds of things. If it's the former you're going to have to contact all your wedding vendors and see if you can get any of your money back. If it's the latter you can treat like any regular breakup. So find a new place to online, figure out how to break a lease if you need to then just tell him it's over.
Hi, thank you for your response. I ended up confronting her about this, but instead of showing remorse, she became defensive, got mad at me and gave me the silent treatment. Eventually, she herself said she will block him – so I let this slide (like an idiot). But today I found out that their SnapStreak is still going strong and she is still in touch with him. Today she is at her college re-union (even her ex is there), and she shamelessly told me that she has asked her ex to drop her off after the reunion because she doesn't want to spend money on a cab. She even planned this with him before going to the reunion and only mentioned it to me over the phone like it was no big deal. Apparently he is also coming super late and she is still choosing to stay and come back with him rather than just taking a cab. I didn't react during the call, but I've decided that I'm done with this relationship. I'm heartbroken, I hate myself and I wish I hadn't let this reach till here. But I'm done. F*** her.