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Girly pop, you are fine. As long as you are practicing safe sex and clean.
If it makes you feel any better, Im 20 and I have over 50+. And I have been proposed to.
You are fine, and there will be a man who will love you just as you are. 🙂
That was my main thought. Staying focused can be a great way to keep someone from going “but this is normal.” It's fine if he watches porn, and has a stash, the problem is that its inconsiderate to have exes there and lie specifically about them, and its wrong to take vulnerable pictures of you without your consent.
I would trust the dude
He doesn't love you, sorry. You don't do that to people you love.
Exactly! Nothing will ever be the same between us…I just don't get how he can't understand that
My girlfriend and I had a string of terrible luck on our second date, but to this day (4 yrs later) it's one of our favorite stories to tell. They were situations beyond our control, we were still having fun and that's what matters.
White lie. Nothing can be done about it now, and you said she’s still beautiful. Anything else will just make her self conscious and lose confidence.
Losing weight and being healthy is alot of work so yeah it sucks she isn't celebrating your accomplishments with you and instead bans you from talking about it. Talk to her and tell her you understand how it makes her feel bad but it also makes you feel bad that she isn't happy for you or being supportive. Your feelings are valid too and she needs to recognize that.
A dead bedroom at your age and stage of relationship isn't a good sign….
No it isn't lol
Date someone younger.
Call her parents to tell her, not to send such videos… lol
thank you !! this was really refreshing for me to read tbh. i was starting to feel so bad bc everyone’s saying that i’m too young etc. made me feel like all of it is my fault
Yes…and I won't blow any smoke up your crotch…its especially very hot
for folks who have gotten shitty messages from disabled parents.
Thats what makes finding a mentor….a responsible person you admire
who has accomplished what YOU want to do…sooner rather than
later. And…NO…it does NOT have to be a living, breathing, warm-to-the-touch
person. Countless people have modelled their lives on individuals who aren't
even alive anymore and you can do it , too.
Get going……
Ok, I FLEW to this post from my game, which is something that never happens ?
I was going to be an asshole until I read more about this situation. 9 months old is old enough to feel left out, but on Christmas she's going to be getting a lot of presents. They aren't having other children over getting presents with the little one watching empty handed. She won't know.
As for your family? They do understand. They don't care.
This is Reddit – your husband is a mysogist pig who doesn't respect your boundaries, lawyer up and dump him ASAP!
A tip from an old lady – guy doesn’t buy you a birthday present – don’t buy him a $150 gift. And don’t get him an Xmas gift. It sounds like he isn’t planning to get you anything. A guy who gives you zero on your bday after 8 months isn‘t a good boyfriend, btw. It’s not shallow of you. It’s about being thoughtful on special occasions.
Don't let her continue thus gaslighting.. i was in a 20-year marriage that I constantly thought I was going nuts. It's called the covert narcissist… they aren't out right nar5 thet are i In the down low narcissist… walk a way or you be in a rotten relationship for years
Do not go to couples counseling with an abuser!
At best it's pointless, at worst it's actively dangerous. She has already tried talking to him honestly and she gets screamed at and called names. The only healthy path forward is leaving. If she wants to try therapy, she should get individual therapy. She should absolutely not do counseling with this man.
“My wife had a friend escort her home instead of putting herself in a dangerous position with a stranger. Clearly this is all about me. She should just risk being kidnapped by the driver because I don’t like it when other men care more about her safety than I do. How can I make her feel bad about this?”
He’s made his bed.
“Mom, I can't be at your beck and call. This constant need for news and chatting is too much. It is entirely inappropriate to contact everyone I know because I didn't answer you for an hour. Please do not do that again. If you do that again, I'll leave the WhatsApp group and you'll be relegated to once weekly calls.”
Separate immediately and ask him to accompany you to couples therapy, from what u have written it sounds as if he is tone deaf towards you and your physical well-being. Wanting kids is one thing but going thru three events back to back, the mental toll you two have is truly enormous and I believe you both need third-party help to deal and come to term with the facts of the situation.
Also I'm sure your physician offered you some therapy but I believe your husband never got it
This was not romantic though, it was a straight up ambush.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You got some great advice here.
Please talk to your sister. If this happened to you, it may have happened to her also. If they can sleep with you in your room, or you in her room, then do that until you can find a safe place to move to.
If you are able to please keep us posted.
He also messaged her none stop when she’s at the bar and texts to make sure she made it home. He doesn’t text me when I’m at the bar like that
Yeah he's more interested in her than he is in you. He's your man, he should be checking in on you. I think you already know what you need to do. Rip the bandaid now or get divorced in 5 years after you find out he never stopped seeing her.
What are ypuou trying ton say exactly,please be clear.
Ah, yes, you've decided this is a universal truth. We'll all just blindly follow along now regardless of the many exceptions that would be valid reasons for teo adults to not neednto interact. /s
The biggest problem seems to be your insecurity.
You don't have to pay for 50% of everything. As long as you don't demand anything, it is perfectly fine for her to pay a bit more. Travelling for work is very different from travelling for fun.
I don't like sex when I am drunk. Different folks have different relationships with sex and intoxication.
Well, when you put it that way I guess. Idk I just dont want her to feel bad about it at the very least
Look at your lease. If there is an inspection clause or as he has moved in there might be post that he is getting. If it isn't illegal to have him there then you have to insist that he pays for bills or you will take it further and mean it. She didn't communicate to you that this was happening and has lied to your face. She doesn't respect you so don't think that you have to respect her as it goes both ways.
Additional info: I have been paying for majority(or all) of her monthly expenses since the last 9 months.
Edit: I am sorry if I gave the impression that she is she is trying to get her hands on my money. What I meant was that she is worried about her financial future as a mother and has confided in me enough to express that concern to me.
Mate, she already HAS her hands on your money and she’s trying to manipulate you into making sure that she continues to do so.
I would not be surprised if, as soon as the ring is on her finger (no prenup, naturally), she turns cold and distant from you.
Additional info: I have been paying for majority(or all) of her monthly expenses since the last 9 months.
Edit: I am sorry if I gave the impression that she is she is trying to get her hands on my money. What I meant was that she is worried about her financial future as a mother and has confided in me enough to express that concern to me.
Mate, she already HAS her hands on your money and she’s trying to manipulate you into making sure that she continues to do so.
I would not be surprised if, as soon as the ring is on her finger (no prenup, naturally), she turns cold and distant from you.
You have a very good heart. Unfortunately, I think she's using that to take advantage of you..
Don't do that, don't sign anything, tell her you will help her as long as you can and she needs it, but don't put any legal procedure on it.
In the best situation, she will stay with you no matter if you compromise to it or not.
In the worst situation, she will disappear from your life and you will only know she's alive because of thr montly withdrawals.
In the worse of the worst, she ends your life and uses the life insurance to fund her life-style.
Tell her you will help her reclaim the money from the kid's dad, so she can assure she will be fine even if you break up.
She went through some very hot times and I felt bad for her. Stupid, I’ve set myself up for this
listen – there are MANY parents of babies that require visitors, incl relatives to get OTHER boosters, not just the Covid vax,as is their right. Man up, this is not complicated.
This is the best comment.
Her daughter's mental health I'd more important than a relationship.
Not her fault you caught the feels, when she told you up front she didn't want a serious relationship.
Anyone who is offended by random porn usage in a relationship is either highly repressed, highly religious, or 18 years old. No one who has been in adult relationships should think watching porn is cheating.
WHY do you want to be married? Like why specifically?
Is it for the wedding? For health insurance? To buy a house? For the legal benefits? For being able to call one another husband and wife?
I’d really ask yourself why is this important to you. Are you worried about him leaving? Because if that is the case, it might be a good idea to hold off on getting married for awhile. Because at the end of the day, getting married is really an expensive way to say “I bet half my life savings and another 30k that we won’t break up.”
And I’m saying this as a VERY happily married 28 year old who got engaged after 1.5 years and eloped at 2. We wanted the marriage forever part, and legal implications as we planned to buy a house etc. The forever part was what we were excited for, and we have never gone through a rough patch, at least from a relationship standpoint, obviously we have been through some incredibly very hot times. It’s been 5 years now.
Idk just sit with the question about why marriage is important to you. I have friends who have dated for 10+ years and are happy AF. Again marriage is just paperwork, and if your begging for it during a tough time, you might not get the answer you want, but maybe the one you need.
She either wants to be with other women without you, or she wants to control things and slowly introduce the second woman to you, after being sure that won’t cost her the marriage by you losing interest in her. I believe that introducing threesomes into an ongoing marriage leads to nothing but disaster, that type of stuff has a good chance of working out only if both people were into that choice before marriage.
Just going to toss this out there. Me saying shit to another guy is an escalation, and I'd be going into that with the assumption that I'm about to get my ass kicked or worse.
You’re allowed to have a no-porn boundary. More people than you would think do. If he isn’t okay to respect something that’s a boundary for you, then the relationship probably won’t work out.
I get really tired of people screaming about how stupid and immature people who don’t like their partners watching porn are. You are allowed to not like it, it doesn’t make you a bad person, or “ridiculously insecure”. Not wanting your partner jerking off to other people is normal imo. So many studies have proven how bad porn is for peoples mentalities and how they treat their relationships. If you don’t mind it, fine, but I promise you it’s okay to be uncomfortable with it.
He could have mild autism or something else or really just appreciates his belongings. Why are you arguing with him for going to look for his lost item? That says more about you that you want to pick fights over an innocent action on his part. Do you often pick fights over things you deem weird or unacceptable?
Contacting his exes is not going to make ops life less stressful or dramatic.
Move the fuck on, weirdo. She doesn't want to communicate with you and it's blatantly obvious.
Should I leave him for this?
Yes.
But before you do, you need to make sure you get rid of any nudes of you in his phone. Because the next thing he'll do is share those pics to those AHs.
Also let the girls know that their pics are on that group and they're discussing them in that p0rn group.
Then also leave him with the term of 'revenge p0rn' law.
Sounds right
Not at all what was said.
My take on this is pretty primitive and brutal:
She dropped you for someone else – after she cheated on you.
Of course, she wanted to embellish it.
Now you know. He loves her and is apparently using you to support his not working laziness.
Thanks. I was already quite a little bit iffy after part 1, but this update confirms that this story is 100% made up bullshit. Good luck with your future creative writing endeavours.
Thank you for confirming I was right all along.
Who are you to judge. She has to online with losing her son. If she’s actually human that will hurt the rest of her life. Grow the hell up. That’s my point to you. Quit pretending you’ll never make a mistake that might actually affect someone else.
Seems like this is time for individual (and couples when possible) therapy.
With his ex in attendance? He knew exactly why he did what he did.
Small claims court, have a friend serve her. The documents are easy to do yourself.
This is the burning bridges approach, all other options will likely close doing this. You will easily get your $100.
We actually have 2 together, ones his and ones mine which we decided that when we got them both.
If u cant talk about it with her just the two of u go to counseling. Some ideas. Perimenopause, new med.
Stop making yourself the victim. You guys are not compatible.
I always find these type of posts funny. Because if the rules are reversed women will say “ask the woman what she wants to do and then do that”.
But when women ask the question. They seem to go out of their way to avoid the man asking for what he wants (which is usually sex).
He’s cheating
He's just not that into you. A guy who is actually into you won't 1) stand you up, 2) make you cover up your shirt, 3) insult your clothing, and 4) in general ignore you and only give you tiny bread crumbs of his time.
Please do yourself a life-changing favor and end this relationship. Respect yourself by ditching assholes who don't respect you. Read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft (free PDFs online).
I meant the option as in, it’s very hot to find anyone who hasn’t got a massive number of casual partners at this age
Not all ex's are created equal. This one is trash. Take him to the curb and leave him there where he belongs.
We really can’t pass a judgment about someone with this little info. For starters, why did she cheat? What has she said about regrets? Has she worked on herself?
People do bad things, but they also change. Also people who’ve never cheated end up cheating. It’s really not that simple
Not exactly what I’m saying
He’s not , possibly Bi is he? Wondering if the relationship was entirely with the “wife”. He felt the need to lie. It’s sus.
UpdateMe!
Out of curiosity, how do you make so much as an RN? I’m applying to nursing school.
Current girlfriend is 2 years older than me and we're really happy together. I just happen to have a lot of life experiences so I know things don't always conform to the ways society expects.
It’s not fair to yourself OR any hypothetical future children to have children you don’t want. Children deserve to be wanted and you deserve to have the life you want.
There is no compromise on kids. You either have them or you don’t. This is a dealbreaker.
I mean, you say you've been with her for 2 1/2 years and haven't seen anything like that. Why not give her the benefit of the doubt? Give her an opportunity to apologize to you, honestly. Sometimes shit just hits the fan and we explode, not everyone handles it gracefully.
Sounds like she just hit a breaking point, and it wasn't about the pizza, but the last straw for the day. She was probably just wanting to stay upset at that point and refuse a solution. Not making excuses, she really should apologize (sincerely), at least, but everyone has a bad day i guess.
The people in the comment section needs to grow up I get it they never got the love of their parents and yeah they will break any relationship cause they have none op Don fall for this reddit bs thing I read tons of peoples post story after they took reddits advice first it will seem really good then it will ruin you I have read tons of em and yeah ask him what he really meant about his mother tbh you are getting worried for no reason
Glad I am not the only one
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Best you can do is tell her that you will be there to support her and voice your concerns but you can't force her to do anything or even force her to see reason. This is something she will have to do by herself.
Its female
On paper yes, but in practice and with a well paid attorney he might be able to claim that he should have to share a house he has paid for. And it seems like he has the money for such an attorney, whereas you spend yours on the daily expenses and tuitions for his children.
Sleepy isn’t an excuse —ever. I said IF he was medicated- his back was injured by OP’s admission. IF medication was prescribed- likely as I’ve had similar experiences— he may have stretched out to relieve symptoms and succumbed to the medication. Benefit of the doubt without further details, not in any way excusing or degrading the incident.
Well, probably, mentioning the entire topic beforehand, when he reached the place late, and couldn't come back that night, should have been ideal. Relationship has to be all about being open and truthful, and not just communicate. Also, just a point, he could have stayed in some nearby hotel overnight, if travelling at night was that much of a trouble.
Always do remember, if there is will, there is a way.
Note: Yes, talk in detail about this incident with him, make sure you don't keep anything with you, if it is bothering you so much. Sailing through troubled waters only make the relationship stronger.