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Holy crap is she manipulative. Please do not give her a baby. Instead seek couples therapy, tell her it’s to work through this issue together, but then in therapy address the sex withholding and punishing you. That’s just crap.
As for how to compromise, offer to take on older foster children. There are sometimes temporary fostering opportunities where you can help out and the experience might bring her down to earth more that it’s not all cute baby smiles and giggles. Sometimes you can even temporarily foster an infant. Or encourage her to volunteer at a hospital in the maternity wing to scratch her baby itch. Teach Sunday school to toddlers at your church. Or contact organizations like big brothers big sisters where you can develop a relationship with a child but it’s not a 24/7 thing. Or encourage her to volunteer or do part time work for day cares or preschools. There are ways to scratch that baby itch that don’t require you to take on a new 18 year commitment.