Yes, I have many women who are my friends, that I do not find attractive. They’re my friends at the end of the day just like the guys. I have however been in the same situation as you, having a couple of them flirt with me. I responded differently in different situations. Some I just let it pass and they moved on (we usually end up staying friends) and in some cases with other more persistent, less perceptive individuals we have to have a conversation about it. A lot of young men just want a sexual component to a relationship as opposed to the whole relationship. I think it’s a maturity issue, but it varies from person to person.
In my latest relationship, when neither of us wanted to be on top we'd do it on the side (like in the position of him spooning you) which worked pretty well. Ofc our bodies are all different and this might not work for you guys.. but it might be beneficial to verbalise wanting to explore new positions, it won't hurt his ego and you guys might end up finding a new favourite?
I absolutely agree. But is there anything I can do to convince her and get another chance? I see what I have done wrong now and really want to change and not lose her
Encourage him to write our his jokes with set up and punch line.
Watch ” Kill Tony” together on YouTube. Encourage him to do open mic stand up.
If they're tasteless jokes he won't be comfortable saying them or will get no laughs.
I've written racist jokes, sexist jokes, and to follow through i have actually written my name on sign up sheets for comedy open mics multiple times and tested said jokes.
It's not fair to make shit comments in your home if others don't agree, but if he's genuinely trying, encourage him to do it publicly Like for real. And I've bombed with those jokes, they sometimes do NOT go well, even in a room of racially mixed people (like i ain't just doing black jokes with white audience, no it's for reals with everybody)
And sometimes they do go well.
You might be wrong. He might be funny and you might not be able to tell cause you're a woman. Or he might be an ass hat, only the audience can determine
And this is why we have so many fucked up families today, women like you having babies with men like him just for the sake of having a baby and not considering who the person you’re having a baby with is.
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I do think most of us enjoy getting attention and compliments.
I guess the problem is to understand where a friendly compliment becomes flirting. Especially when it comes from friends.
About the enabling part, I agree. I do think she is leaving open space for guys to start flirting (although she's convinced she's not doing that and is just friendly).
She does think that guys and girls can be friends. It's been a debate between us, cause I don't share that opinion. At least not entirely.
I actually feel a lot better about hentai. He once agreed to only watch that, but he quickly broke the promise. It's mostly just having him watch other girls, and the feeling of him going back to the same artist.
Based off your comments, you want to have a child accidentally and “spontaneously” because that’s how it happens in the movies…
Dude. Someone needs to give you a serious reality check.
Not only on the movie aspect, but on what it’s really like to have kids, about your wife’s desire for them (spoiler, it’s not even 10%), and just life in general.
I’m glad you at least realize you’ve been naive, but now you have to actually do something with this revelation, and it’s not to get pissy at your wife for her choice of contraception.
I think everyone is reading way too much into this. Fingering should not hurt, you could probably just direct him so he's doing it properly. He's inexperienced, show him how it's done and you'll both have a better experience. Very strange to me with something making you feel bad you wouldn't just immediately address it and work with him to fix it. Unless you're uncomfortable with your partner in general ig but in that case there's way bigger things to worry about. TLDR: Just give the poor man a fingering tutorial.
You both need to forget about his ex-wife. She’s the ex.
I’ve only ever had one gf successfully pull off anal with me. That doesn’t make the others less in any one. The she said one day she wasn’t into anymore and I never asked again for years. Then the relationship ended. Not every woman is into it or can do it. If it literally causes you pain he’s a shitty bf for pushing you into it. There are so many ways to please a partner that not doing one is insignificant. It sounds like you’re a very kind and considerate lover. He should mirror that kindness and consideration.
I have had other GFs that didn’t like giving me head but were happy to receive. Or didn’t like receiving and preferred to give. One liked to be slapped, choked, and called names. Every woman is different and figuring out how to play her body to give her the most fun is the best game in the world. So blow his mind in other ways (sounds like you do) and make him beg for those things.
Learn to say no to your mother. Your poor husband
Yes, I have many women who are my friends, that I do not find attractive. They’re my friends at the end of the day just like the guys. I have however been in the same situation as you, having a couple of them flirt with me. I responded differently in different situations. Some I just let it pass and they moved on (we usually end up staying friends) and in some cases with other more persistent, less perceptive individuals we have to have a conversation about it. A lot of young men just want a sexual component to a relationship as opposed to the whole relationship. I think it’s a maturity issue, but it varies from person to person.
Flip a coin. That’s your chances at 10 years post 2 kids unless you both put a shit load of work in it and blowies every morning.
In my latest relationship, when neither of us wanted to be on top we'd do it on the side (like in the position of him spooning you) which worked pretty well. Ofc our bodies are all different and this might not work for you guys.. but it might be beneficial to verbalise wanting to explore new positions, it won't hurt his ego and you guys might end up finding a new favourite?
I absolutely agree. But is there anything I can do to convince her and get another chance? I see what I have done wrong now and really want to change and not lose her
Encourage him to write our his jokes with set up and punch line.
Watch ” Kill Tony” together on YouTube. Encourage him to do open mic stand up.
If they're tasteless jokes he won't be comfortable saying them or will get no laughs.
I've written racist jokes, sexist jokes, and to follow through i have actually written my name on sign up sheets for comedy open mics multiple times and tested said jokes.
It's not fair to make shit comments in your home if others don't agree, but if he's genuinely trying, encourage him to do it publicly Like for real. And I've bombed with those jokes, they sometimes do NOT go well, even in a room of racially mixed people (like i ain't just doing black jokes with white audience, no it's for reals with everybody)
And sometimes they do go well.
You might be wrong. He might be funny and you might not be able to tell cause you're a woman. Or he might be an ass hat, only the audience can determine
And this is why we have so many fucked up families today, women like you having babies with men like him just for the sake of having a baby and not considering who the person you’re having a baby with is.
yeah, i want to accept that we're both normal and just think different. it hurts right now but if its normal then i'm gonna try to accept it
Really? How is that the real question? He never asked it, it’s your own projection onto their situation, but alright.
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I hate to see food go to waste when I know there are people who could use it, also you could have a hell of a party without the wedding.
It seems very selfish to inconvenience so many people guests, staff , everyone for one person.
He sounds like an ass. This shit won’t end — and it won’t end well, either. You will get sick of his shit.
Plan your exit
You are a good human and definitely did the right thing.
Your friends are awful.
I mean, some people are just like that genuinely.
I do think most of us enjoy getting attention and compliments.
I guess the problem is to understand where a friendly compliment becomes flirting. Especially when it comes from friends.
About the enabling part, I agree. I do think she is leaving open space for guys to start flirting (although she's convinced she's not doing that and is just friendly).
She does think that guys and girls can be friends. It's been a debate between us, cause I don't share that opinion. At least not entirely.
She’s got a thing for Dan and prioritizing him over you. Time to break it off!
It's not your responsibility. Leave her. Let that be her lesson to do better.
I actually feel a lot better about hentai. He once agreed to only watch that, but he quickly broke the promise. It's mostly just having him watch other girls, and the feeling of him going back to the same artist.
Based off your comments, you want to have a child accidentally and “spontaneously” because that’s how it happens in the movies…
Dude. Someone needs to give you a serious reality check.
Not only on the movie aspect, but on what it’s really like to have kids, about your wife’s desire for them (spoiler, it’s not even 10%), and just life in general.
I’m glad you at least realize you’ve been naive, but now you have to actually do something with this revelation, and it’s not to get pissy at your wife for her choice of contraception.
Because he puts up with her kid.
Wtf is CoD relationship official? I mean I know Call of Duty, but that sounds like stuff pre teens would say.
Ha ha I don't watch ANY reality television and I don't need to with this sub.
Please do not date this person!
Tell him to get some therapy!
I think everyone is reading way too much into this. Fingering should not hurt, you could probably just direct him so he's doing it properly. He's inexperienced, show him how it's done and you'll both have a better experience. Very strange to me with something making you feel bad you wouldn't just immediately address it and work with him to fix it. Unless you're uncomfortable with your partner in general ig but in that case there's way bigger things to worry about. TLDR: Just give the poor man a fingering tutorial.
This situation would not be ok with me. I’d get out fast!
Comparison destroys joy.
You both need to forget about his ex-wife. She’s the ex.
I’ve only ever had one gf successfully pull off anal with me. That doesn’t make the others less in any one. The she said one day she wasn’t into anymore and I never asked again for years. Then the relationship ended. Not every woman is into it or can do it. If it literally causes you pain he’s a shitty bf for pushing you into it. There are so many ways to please a partner that not doing one is insignificant. It sounds like you’re a very kind and considerate lover. He should mirror that kindness and consideration.
I have had other GFs that didn’t like giving me head but were happy to receive. Or didn’t like receiving and preferred to give. One liked to be slapped, choked, and called names. Every woman is different and figuring out how to play her body to give her the most fun is the best game in the world. So blow his mind in other ways (sounds like you do) and make him beg for those things.
You know the answer. People with nothing to hide don't cry and scream when you pick up their phone.
Thank you for the reality check. Definitely not planning on policing her..
Maybe it’s fomo that I’m having because I wish i was the one with her while she’s looking that good
All of his actions that you are describing are very abusive. I hope you are able to find a way to divorce/escape from this man.