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This is so tough. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I think I’d make some time to spend with the kids even before the results of the test, just because the regrets of not having done it if he turns out to be yours might be bigger than the ones of having done it despite him not being yours.
That being said, don’t make any life changing decisions right this second, since you’re clearly and understandably very overwhelmed and emotional at the moment. It’s okay to take your time with this. Use it to get the information you need regarding what a divorce would look like. Maybe also have a look at the subreddit r/AsOneAfterInfidelity. Should you decide on trying reconciliation, you’ll find a lot of useful information and support in that sub.
Maybe also check out r/survivinginfidelity regardless of reconciliation or divorce. It can be helpful to vent to people who’ve gone through similar.
How did you originally plan to spend Christmas? With extended family or just with the kids and wife? If it’s the latter, maybe compromise with your wife and visit a few hours for Christmas Day and she’ll either have to go out for that time or stay in another room. Unless you’re comfortable with her being around, then do that.
Also, tell family and friends. You need all the emotional support you can get.
Lastly, I get that neither of you were perfect in the relationship and that there needed to be changes and work done on both your ends. But that doesn’t mean it’s an excuse to cheat. This was a choice your wife made and she needs to take full responsibility for it. Saying she was taken advantage off is a cop-out. She was a willing participant frustrated with her relationship and not a damsel in distress. In order for reconciliation (R) to work, she needs to stop making excuses and realize that there is no scenario that excuses her actions.
I hope the kid is yours and I wish you strength to get through what’s happening. And because I know I’d need it, even though we’re internet strangers, I’m sending you all the hugs and warmth.
I agree, and also wonder about other fears he could have. This is just based on my own observation, but it seems like plastic surgery is similar to tattoos in that after you've gotten one, you tend to want more. I wonder if he is thinking this could be a lifelong trend with you – chasing the 'perfect' face and eventually ending up looking unrecognizable.