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I used to have a friend who would cheat on all her boyfriends,have whole parallel relationships with people, and Noone ever suspected a thing. She had a similar relationship with alcohol and she would drunk call them also. Once she got with a guy she wouldn't let him escape out of her life. She would literally collect them and contact them regularly. Again no one suspected anything. I'm not saying that your wife is like that, but some times when we go through very hot times our shadow self makes an appearance. A marriage is not all sunshine and flowers, it's mostly tough times and difficult decisions, do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is going to react that way everytime things get naked?
Also medication. Duloxetine didn’t work for me. Venlafaxine has. But this has to be from her and her experience, not yours. Depression is very very hot. I love this quote from Stephen Fry
If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.
Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s naked to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.