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Sorry- if your wife hit you, that is domestic violence.
I would say she ruined the trip.
As for not taking pictures of her, she knows you- you are partners- so she shouldn’t act like a child about something she knows you do not do or aren’t good at (whatever the case is). It would come off as rude if you had said no to her friends, and I’m sure she would’ve found issue with that as well regardless.
I’ve been married a long time. I was engaged to the wrong woman once. I had doubts. I felt uneasy. My ex ( now wife of 25 years) looked me up after 3 years no contact and I broke the engagement that evening. It was shitty but I had no doubt about my future. My father said when you know you know. He was right.
Prepare to leave
She is showing you that you can’t trust her. So tell her that.
Tell her that you would love to be able to trust her unconditionally, but her past actions have made that impossible.
Tell her that it is actually the opposite at the moment, and that she has damaged the trust to an extent that you are starting to doubt everything she says and does.
Tell her that her inability to be honest about her past, herself and her actions currently are unhealthy and unacceptable.
Then tell her that she needs to be open and honest with you — list out the items/ events where you felt like she was not being completely honest.
Then tell her that she must start being open and honest with you from now, and that she can rebuild the trust she has damaged, but any future lies or omissions on her part will end the relationship.
He's showing you that he doesn't give a shit whether you're happy as long as you stay.
OK why does this man who you were genuinely frightened to tell due to fear of impacting your working situation and who’s baby it might not even have been have the right to be upset? It was a clump of fucking cells that could’ve have been genetically related someone else there was a 50-50 chance of it being his. There’s a 50-50 chance of it being absolutely none of his fucking business and the reason you didn’t tell him it’s all due to personal characteristics of his. If anything why the fuck don’t you ask him why he thinks it’s OK that someone was so scared to tell him about a possibly life-changing decision because he might fuck up their monetary and living situation? This is more about him and how he thinks he’s entitled to everything, without understanding that his actions and behaviors have consequences and you’re just bowing to it because you’ve always worked for him and done shit on his timeline. Grow a backbone and if you said you’re so fucking career oriented why is it that you’ve been at the same company for so many years and just made partner? You’re not career oriented you’ve excelled because you’ve been his favorite and you were scared to not be you. Now you are not you should probably understand that he is toxic and move the fuck on with your life. Come on now I’m 24 and you’ve been working at the same place for most of your working life because you were fucking the boss or because the boss had some type of feelings for you of course this was going to blow up that’s the only thing you have to take responsibility for.
I don’t trust him either
Worth. What do you mean by worth? What do you even get from it? Self satisfaction? Don't be a petty person man. Just move on and find another person that trust you is way better for your sanity.
Your last sentence snapped me back to reality. Yes the dating pool is more like a cesspool nowadays it's hard out here lol but that shouldn't mean desperation or lowered standards.
Never said I don’t have friends, idiot. Stop projecting
Refusing to sign a pre nup is a red flag to me. I love my husband so much I’d sign it. But we are both middle class.
You can put stipulations in like if you cheat he gets like $5000 to appease his assholeness.
But as I said. Red flag.
I’m not sure exactly what to say to him. I know whatever I say it will hurt him but I want it to hurt a little as possible (probably not possible)
She’s already been sick, so he’s had time to consider this. He’s giving her a heads up. Also him saying that he would expect her to do the same if the shoe was on the other foot is such a fucking cop out. You shouldn’t get upset that I’d abandon you because, I’ve chosen to act like that was part of our deal from the beginning. He had his fingers crossed during the vow portion of his wedding.
It is very toxic and it’s incestuous. And I went through a period like that in my 20s too, but then pretty soon people started resenting me and I ran out of friends. So when I hit 30 I completely changed my life. I quit drinking and I started meeting people one on one. I think that we group together when we’re young and as we get older, most of us pair off with mates and have family that we create, and then family of origin.
And you’re in a weird place where you don’t have that yet. Quit dating your friends just make it a rule. And start reaching beyond your comfort zone join a club. Ask somebody out for coffee that you don’t know, get to know new people. You’ll develop more confidence overtime you’ll get rejected a couple of times make a couple of new people in your life but you will gain more personal confidence. And you never know what the universe is going to bring you.
You’re 28 years old, I suggest therapy if you’re this distraught about someone who never dated you nor was interested in doing so.
Yeah I’d lose the word fetish as well, it’s your preference ? fetish implies something seedy you think girls look good in puffer jackets end of story. If you come at her oh by the way I can’t stop wanking my dick thinking about what you used to wear in school it’s likely to go down like a lead balloon.
Leave her alone
He raped you. And he's been abusive many times.
Biggest piece of advice for abuse victims: “Quit paying any attention to what he says, and give your full attention to what he does.”
If I had a dollar for every time I read, “But he says…” in these subreddits…
It's gone from “more” to “way more” in the last hour. I bet it's closer to what you eat than you think.
Ok thank you very much. I just don't want to hurt anyone. I don't mind if I'm sad all the time but I don't want anyone else to be.
Your gut is right: he doesn't give a fuck about you. You're not crazy. He's invalidating you because he doesn't want to be held accountable for lying to you. You will look back and wonder why you didn't detach from this leech sooner.
You couldn’t pay me to be 18 again
Get your affairs in order and leave him as soon as possible. once a cheater always a cheater. you need to be with someone who respects you. you’re so young you’ll be fine. I met the love of my life at a much older age. go on-line life and have fun. you’ll meet someone who actually gives you the respect you deserve. everything, yes everything, will be ok. one day you’ll look back at this moment and realize it was the best decision you made for yourself.
I have a feeling your therapist also visits the washie wash after hours.
he started dating her when she was 19? c’mon brother use your head
Maybe priming but not abuse yet and we don't know the full story.
What he did was disgusting but claiming stuff like this is abuse takes away from the actual abused.