UPDATE: 15 years ago my (then 18F) best friend (18F) got pregnant by my boyfriend (20M) of three years and my family knew about it but didn’t tell me so I ran from home. Now we are back in contact after 15 years and my (33F) mom (59F) demands I mend my relationship with the ex-bf and ex-BFF.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/m84cs4/throwra_15_years_ago_my_then_18f_best_friend_18f/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

My gosh, it’s been 2 years since I posted this. A lot of people have been asking me for an update.

First of all, I want to thank all of the wonderful people who have been sending me updates and lovely messages. I'm truly grateful.

A lot of things have happened in the last few years – not all great. Without making these 100 pages long…

I never mentioned my little sister in my original post. Her relationship with my parents went downhill after I left home, and she went no contact with them when she was 20. I received her number from our older sister and although it was awkward at first, it's been 15 years after all, we did start speaking again. She was very angry at me for leaving. A lot has happened in her life, and it wasn't the easiest. She has a toddler and a baby of her own and I have to say that the kids have helped us bond again. She's my best friend and we talk every day.

As for my other siblings. I'm in regular contact with both my brothers, although we aren't close. My older sister and I have a good relationship now, but last year we've had a longer period of not speaking. As she is married to Kyle's brother it was nude for her to deal with all our and their family drama. We are cool now and I have a lovely relationship with my nieces and nephews. I didn't go to my niece's birthday party. It just seemed like it would be too nude for me.

Now to my parents…

This one is a little painful for me to write and at the time it felt like I was reliving all those shitty emotions I had at 18.

My mom didn't let up with her pestering over me not talking with Kyle and Ashley. Her calls for that continued for months, even after I was home again. It bordered on emotional blackmail. She blamed me for not ''honoring her wishes'' for her friendship problems, and health problems and even accused me of keeping her grandbabies from her. Last June I had my daughter and it seems like that sent her completely over the rail. What I mean by that: 100+ calls a day, messages every 20 minutes to pester me about random things, sending me updates about people I never want to know about. When she started pestering Dean… I was done.

I was afraid to block her, so I spoke to my father. This was probably the first time in the last 17 years that we had a true heart-to-heart conversation. I was emotionally drained, tired from caring for three children, and just over everything. I've probably poured all my feeling and emotions onto him. Idk what happened to them afterward, he doesn't speak much about it. Her calls slowly ceased and something else must have happened because in August he filed for a divorce. My father and I are in regular contact, although I don't think we'll ever be back to normal.

Mom is devastated. In August her calls became insane and apparently not just with me. I've changed my number since then and as of February, she has not been able to reach me. I've been told by one of my brothers that she has problems with anxiety and depression, and lost a lot of friends. I don't really know whether or not she continues to have a relationship with Kyle and Ashley's family.

I don't want to have anything to do with her anymore, nor do I want her near my kids. The things she's said to me, about me and about my husband, whom she really doesn't know, and after 15 years of no contact is crazy. Although I regret not having a mom I feel like trying and fighting to repair the little remnants of our relationship would be a waste of my emotional energy and just pure torture.

As for Kyle and Ashley. I've received some calls from Kyle's mom as I mentioned in my original post. I blocked her and no other calls have been received from anyone. I really don't know what they are doing or where they are. I've had no contact with them.

The only thing that really happened is that… in August when shit went downhill my BIL (Kyle's brother) brought me a letter apparently written by Ashley. I've not opened it and I really don't know if I want to. I feel like I've moved on from them, but on the other hand, I'm curious as to what she has to say after so many years. However, that in itself could bring back bad emotions.

I'm doing okay now, with my babies and Dean, who is a real trooper in all of this. I'm trying to focus on my family, and I really hope that this is all behind me.

To all of you… thank you, again. If anything, else happens I'll try to update sooner.