My (34F) ex-husband’s (36M) future partner wants to know why we got divorced. Conflicting emotions, thoughts on how to respond?

So my ex and I had been married for 5 years, and got divorced a year ago (no kids). He has moved on and found someone new who's considering marrying him. She reached out to me to hear my side of the story. I'm not sure what he's told her, but it seems she's cautious and wants to understand what happened between us better, thinking it would help her gain clarity.

My ex and I are no longer in contact. The root cause of all our major issues in the marriage came from him being deceitful by nature. Absolute smooth talker, but couldn't trust a word that came out of his mouth. I didn't see this until much later in the marriage due to all the gaslighting.

As a woman, I can genuinely understand where she's coming from. I've been in her shoes, wanting answers. However, revisiting my side of the story is emotionally draining, and I'd rather not go down that road again. I want to warn her about the potential red flags, but I also don't want to unduly influence her decision-making process.

These red flags aren't always immediately obvious; they can gradually reveal themselves over time. Even if I were to warn her now, I'm unsure of how much it would truly benefit her.

Part of me also hopes he's changed since our divorce, but it's quite unlikely IMHO.

I'm torn. Do I warn her about the red flags or step back and allow her to navigate her own jounrey with him without my experiences clouding her judgment?

Has anyone else experienced this? Could you share your experiences or thoughts? I'd really appreciate hearing different perspectives.

submitted by /u/madagascar-world
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