My [28M] fiancee [29F] cheated on me. I cut ties with her and now am being made to feel like she is the victim. Are my actions justified?

I am so confused.

I have been with my fiancee for 4 years now. Recently I was out of the country when I got a video call from one of my friends. It was clear that he was in a club and after exchanging greetings, he asked me if this was my girl before flipping to the front camera to a girl who was grinding on some guy’s lap with his arms around her hips.

I have never felt so sick in my life before because it was indeed my fiancee in the call. I fell silent and started dry heaving. I forgot how long I was silent but it was long enough for my friend to turn the call back to him and check if I was okay.

I asked him to take a video of her and send it to me then hung up on him. Sure enough, within minutes, I got a video of them grinding and she was snuggling against his neck. I can’t begin to describe how I felt in that moment. I wanted to just die so badly.

The rest of the night was a blur but when I woke up, I knew I had to cut all ties with her because I felt so disgusted with her behavior. The issue was that our lives had become quite tangled with our families and friends and I didn't want to drag out the process. So I messaged her the video and said “It’s over”, blocked her on every possible messaging platform before posting the video to Instagram story tagging her and telling her to have a good life with her new squeeze.

I know it is petty but my reasoning is that I didn’t want to give her a chance to worm her way back into my life as she was always really good at tugging at my emotional heart strings. The Instagram story was because I didn’t want to explain to all my friends and family why we broke up. I felt it was okay because my profile is private and I only had friends and family following me.

The next few days were kind of hazy as much of it was just going to the work conference I was out of country for and the rest of the nights was spend lying in my hotel room doing nothing. I knew she tried to reach out to me via communications I didn’t think to block such as my email as I saw the notifications on my phone.

When I was back in home, my friends and family reached out to check if I was okay. I tried to keep up a stoic appearance, suppressed everything and tried not to feel anything because I know if I did, it would hurt so fucking badly. Then a mutual friend who was initially my fiancee’s friend reached out to me saying that my fiancee needed my help and to go talk to her. I told him no and that chapter in my life was over with no chance of me revisiting it and if he respected my wishes he would leave me alone because he has no idea how badly it hurt and how close I was to breaking down.

A day later, her parents came over to my parents’ house (I on-line with my parents still), and begged me to go see her because she had attempted to take her life after what happened. Stood my ground and said no. After hearing this, my parents have started to tell me that I should go talk to her. And apparently, word got out because some of my friends started reaching out to me to go talk to her.

I feel like I am going crazy. Why should I visit her? Why should I talk to her? I don’t owe her anything. But my friends and family are telling me to go talk to her. I don’t want to. But I am made to feel like she is the victim as if it was me that caused this bullshit. I am justified in my feelings and action?

Edit: Just spent the past hour reading all the comments. There are too many to reply to individually so I'll just write my reply here. Thanks for letting me know I am not crazy for feeling the way I do. I think I just needed to hear my thoughts but from others. I feel majority of my friends and family might feel the same way you do, and it was the vocal minority that made me feel this way because those were the only voices reaching out to me.

Regarding the video, it is gone. Instagram stories time out.

Regarding closure and talking to her, the future is unknown and maybe one day I'll reach out to her. But for the foreseeable future I will hold my ground. I know I have to leave her and I don't want any chance of me being an idiot and going back or forgiving her. And personally, I don't feel like I am ready to talk to her. I just want to feel normal again.

Thanks for all the advice.