My (28f) husband (26m) threw away a list of transgressions I kept about his sister (28f) and now I think I want a divorce

My husband’s family has a ton of issues. They’re super dysfunctional and emotionally abusive. They’re also racist and bigoted so I don’t like them anyways.

My husbands sister (SIL) is one of the worst. She has hated me even before we met and has bullied me from day 1 of meeting me and tried to get their entire family to hate me and asked my husband to leave me many times. She’s done so many things that I started keeping a list privately of her transgressions.

She barely spoke to me at my own wedding because she decided she was mad at me for not responding to her saying she liked my flowers in the middle of family portraits earlier that day when there were a thousand people talking to me all at once. So every time I tried to talk to her, at my own wedding, including asking her to dance and hang out, she ignored me and I had no idea why. then she told everyone how rude I was for ignoring her comment about flowers, and that their family was so much better off without my “drama”. This is the kind of person she is and this is the least of it. She conspired with my husband’s former friend (former due to DV charges) to get him to end my engagement to my husband and would call him for hours trying to convince him, and asked him to lie to me to intentionally draw a wedge between us.

I started keeping my list once I realized how narcissistic she was and that trying to have a relationship with her was futile, and went NC with her. She was very upset about the NC for some reason despite telling everyone how awful I was. I also was in therapy just because of all this, so didn’t make the decision lightly. The purpose of the list is to keep track of abusive behavior for when their family gaslights me and tells me “sil’s done nothing wrong” (which is often) so I have my own reminder to myself why I made my decision. It’s private and not for sharing or blackmailing.

My husband found it in my desk draw and threw it out. He has told me he wants me to give SIL another chance. And now he is lying by saying he didn’t touch the list. I looked everywhere for it but I know where it was since I had just seen it the day before my husband went into my desk for something else.

I’ve been through a lot in the past year and my capacity for more pain and heartbreak is zero. I just want to be done with all of this. I feel like I have nobody to lean on and trust now, I just want to leave and start a new life. But I feel like I’m being so dramatic over a list by wanting a divorce. Someone please talk sense into me.