My (27f) boyfriend (33m) proposed to me on New Years Day and it’s going to ruin our relationship

My (27f) boyfriend (33m) proposed to me on New Years Day and it’s going to ruin our relationship

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and he proposed to me on New Year’s Day after a really fun weekend together of celebrating the holiday. It was a spur of the moment, “I love you so much and want to do this right now” kind of proposal and all night after he proposed we were super giddy and excited. He mentioned he wanted to wait to tell people until I had a ring to show off, and said he wanted me to pick out my ring so he knew I could get get exactly the one I wanted.

What’s been off is every time I’ve tried to bring up anything about the ring, he seems uncomfortable (not something he expressed, just something I picked up on.) I brought it up with him three days ago and expressed that I wanted to be able to start telling our family / friends even without a ring because I couldn’t wait to share our relationship’s most precious moment with the people we love. He then told me he wasn’t ready to tell people because the idea “scares him”, not because I don’t have a ring yet. He says the idea of marriage was terrifying and he needed a couple days to “think about it”. I felt like my world shattered. I got upset, and expressed that if he felt this way, he shouldn’t have proposed to begin with because he’s clearly not ready for that step. I expressed that it was hurtful for him to put me through the joy of feeling engaged to him, only to rip it away a couple of days later.

I’m still not sure where he stands on this. Every time I’ve tried to bring it up since, he’d shut down. I don’t know how to feel. Am I being too harsh/critical of how he’s acting? Or am I getting my answer of whether or not we should be together based on his actions since the proposal?

submitted by /u/ThrowRA6789123456
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