My (27F) boyfriend (31M) of two years told me he would always want a paternity test for any kids he has because “as a man, you can never know”

My boyfriend and i were making dinner and chatting about our days and I told him about some drama in my life and how one of my co-workers is questioning the paternity of his adult daughter. Thats when my boyfriend told me that, no matter the scenerio, he would always want a paternity test for any kids he has. He said we could be locked away in an isolated cabin for the entirety of a pregnancy and he would still want a test, just to be sure. He said he would do all the leg work of scheduling the test, showing up to it, and paying for it. His reasoning for wanting this is that as a man, you can never truly, 100% know if a kid is yours without the test so he would want it just in case. He also mentioned hearing too many horror stories about men raising children that werent theirs. He wanted to let me know all of this now, before we were thinking about having kids, because asking for one after i was pregnant or while we were trying would be offensive.

In the moment, i felt kinda disgusted at the request, but thought bringing it up now WAS a lot better than bringing it up later. I also am a woman, so i will know 100% that any kids i have will be mine. Therefore, i hid my disgust and told him that it would be fine. But the more i thought about it, the more i hated it. Asking for a paternity test, in pretty much any scenerio, is an accusation of cheating. Its saying you don't trust your parnter enough to not cheat AND you dont trust your partner enough not to trick you into raising a child thats not yours. Bringing it up before thinking about having kids is better than bringing it up afterwards, but still seems like a red flag.

Try as i might, i cant stop myself from feeling hurt by this. I have no intention of ever cheating on my boyfriend, so I can only really see it as an inability to trust. So now i am here, asking for perspective. Is this a reasonable request from him? Is the perspective of this situation from a mans view something i just cant see? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

TLDR: Boyfriend told me if he ever had kids, he will want a paternity test. I got some hardcore ick from his sentiments. Is there a perspective im not seeing in all this? Can someone help me understand his perspective?

submitted by /u/bunnnet8
[link] [comments]

Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *