Just found out that my (24F) boyfriend (26M) has been cheating on me with multiple women including his ex

Yesterday, we were placing an order over his phone and he said that he'll take a shower by the time food arrives. He left his phone with me as I was making the payment from my card.

Soon after he went to shower, there was a silent notification on his phone and it was red heart and it was from someone who he had met on tinder 3 years ago and he'd told me they no longer were in contact with.

I know it was wrong of me to check his phone and i wish I hadn't, but my curiosity got the best of me and ended up opening his WhatsApp.

He has an "Archives" section and i found multiple women in there. I realised all of the chats were in fact very recent (last week).I scrolled up to find unending texts dating back to last year so idk how long it's been on. I went through a few of them and there were sexts and partial nudes.

What made it worse is, i found his ex among them who I've hated the most because she used to gaslight and manipulate him.

We've been together for 3 years including 1 year of on-line in. I moved across the globe while facing so so much to be here. Having had a severly abusive relationship previously, taking this step had taken me everything to be here.

But here's the thing, i feel numb. Idk what to do. I don't know how I'm feeling. I know how I feel mentally – shattered and hurting. But for some reason I feel numb. I was supposed to see a therapist but haven't been able to due to lack of money and time.

Idk what to do. It's complicated. I have my finals on going now. Due to housing and financial problems, i can't move out too.

I just feel lost yet numb and defeated.