I’ve (28F) lost weight and now I want to divorce my husband (29M)

Sorry for the long post

We've been married for 5 years and together for 7 years. We also have a three year old kid

After having the baby, I struggled a lot with losing the baby weight and adjusting to being a parent. I also had the baby blues at first which was tough. I wasn't really focused on my appearance and instead I was trying to figure out our new routine and way of life.

But then my husband started making these little comments about my body and how I should start working out and wearing makeup again. It made me feel really awful and I worried that he might start looking elsewhere because we weren't being intimate anymore. He even suggested hiring a nanny so I could have more time for myself but I wanted to be there for our baby full time so I turned down the offer. That made him angry and he started acting cold towards me.

Months went by without any hugs, kisses, romance or any kind of affection. My self esteem hit rock bottom. Every time I looked in the mirror, all I saw were the flaws that my husband pointed out. By this point, our son was already 2 years old and I desperately wanted to win my husband back. I thought that if I got in shape again, he would show me love and affection and our marriage would be saved. I craved his attention so much and it hurt to see how much things had changed. But you can't force someone to be affectionate.

I took matters into my own hands and hired some help. With more free time, I started going to the gym, taking swimming classes (which are amazing for your back by the way), getting my hair and lashes done regularly and eating healthier. And guess what? I've lost a ton of weight and I feel amazing.

Suddenly, my husband started touching me, kissing me, buying me flowers and treating me like the complete opposite of how he treated me before. You'd think that would make me feel better but for some reason, it made me feel worse. All I could think about were the hurtful things he said to me when I was at my lowest and how cold he was towards me. I get that you can't force attraction but why couldn't he just hug me or give me a kiss on the cheek even when I was overweight? Why couldn't he love me as a human being and the mother of his child? When my self esteem came back, I got really angry at myself for putting up with his behavior for so long.

A few days ago, I told him I wanted a divorce because I don't think I can move past how badly he treated me. He apologized and promised to change and prove that he can be better. But honestly I'm not sure if I can trust him again. What if I gain weight again or have to deal with health issues? Will he treat me like garbage again?

I've talked to some friends and family about the whole situation and some say I should give him another chance, while others say I should leave him. So I'm turning to Reddit for some advice.

Am I justified in being upset over this? Do you think it's possible for my husband to change his behavior for the long term or is a divorce the right move here?