I (39F) found out that my partner (40M) has a dual addiction and has been transferring money from my account without my consent to pay off his debt.

I have been with my partner for almost 14 years. we are not married and do not have children, but we've lived together for 12 years and own a flat together.

For a lot of our relationship we have had a lot of fun together but over recent years things have changed. In 2020, he was demoted at work due to a restructure, and he became depressed and completely lost motivation, spending a lot of time in bed. I always thought he drank too much, but his drinking escalated during this time.

In 2021, I found out that he'd spent the 80,000 inheritance that he'd received in 2015 after his Dad died. He told me he had run out of money because of the demotion at work and had, had to keep dipping into this.

Later, in 2021, he was signed off work for 11 weeks as his depression got worse. He's never wanted any therapy but was prescribed antidepressants. He finally admitted he had an alcohol problem but said he wanted to give up himself without support from professionals. His heart had started to beat faster, and he was often drenched in sweat when he woke up in the morning. He'd have the shakes if he stopped drinking.

In 2022, I found out that he had been taking money from my account, £100 or £200 here and there. When I confronted h, m he owned up and appeared ashamed. He was very apologetic, and I chose to forgive him.

Last weekend, I found out he'd transferred money to his account from another account. This time, when I confronted him, he said it must have been an accident. I told my brother about this, who said said that it's not possible for this to have been an accident. I then confronted my partner again, and he admitted to stealing as he needed to pay off his debt. When I asked how he could possibly be in debt as he never buys anything, he finally admitted he'd had a coke addiction for a few years.

I decided to stay at my brothers 5 days ago while I process everything. If he reaches out for professional help for addiction, debt advice, and most importantly, his mental health am I a pushover if I then choose to stay in this relationship?