Found videos of my (23M) girlfriend (21F) of 3 years having sex with her guy best friend

Not really sure where to start, my girlfriend and I met at a fast food restaurant back before covid happened, when Covid happened we both spend the entirety of 2020 at home together which allowed us to bond at a much faster rate than most I guess, we were together 24/7 and we both loved it, never got sick of each other.

she was my first love and we both made it known early on to commit to each other and never go through each others phones, we talked about our future plans and our sex life and what we liked, we told each other everything, she went as far as to tell me how many people she had slept with in the past, and I witnessed her cut contact with any people in her past which tried to hit her up,

she told me about this one guy friend and how they had slept together one time but it was only a one time thing, ok cool but I made it known I didn’t really feel comfortable with her keeping in contact with him and she said she didn’t want to if it was making me uncomfortable, so she started ignoring him, I even witnessed him hitting her up and her telling him to stop talking to her,

Fast forward through an insane amount of good memories made, music listened to together, trips taken together, thousands of pictures between the two of us, lots and lots of heart felt gifts from her to me such as diy boxes you see on TikTok of pictures and candy and stuff like that, she even spent hours coloring a picture and wrote a long message on the back about how she felt about me and when she gave it to me told me how each of the colors had a meaning, I cried tears of joy because the fact she put in so much work and thought into my gifts. It’s hitting me hard because I never really went as far or as “thoughtful” as she did when it came to gifts

We never really fought at all, of course the occasional argument here and there and some were worse than others but I just knew she was going to be the one I married, we told Eachother countless times how we wanted to get married one day and grow old together and take care of each other until the end of our days…she seemed so genuinely happy and I actually was genuinely happy, she was my everything, we were both super clingy so the fact we could just lay there together and be content was perfect.

I never caught her lying to me throughout the whole relationship, ever,

so the other night I go over to her place and she lies about something small that I knew she was lying about, I committed to the argument because I knew she was lying and then I started to wonder, if she lied about something small, then what else is she lying about, i immediately asked to see her phone, and when I loaded up Snapchat I saw where a month ago she had received a message from the guy best friend, I asked “you still talk to him?” She said “not not really he always texts me but i ignore him”

I clicked on the profile and scrolled down to the saved pictures and I was frozen, pictures of her face in the previews of saved, I viewed all saved and there it was, recent nudes and sexy pictures from her to him.

My body felt like a wave of vibrations covered me from head to toe, I was in complete shock I couldn’t believe it. I asked “what are all these?” She said “I’m so sorry babe I was drunk I didn’t mean to”

I scrolled some more and found a recent video of him plowing her from the back and her just laying there in the bed after it was finished…I was traumatized, I didn’t know what to say or do, I stayed clam throughout the whole thing I guess because of the shock but she was balling the whole time saying she didn’t mean to and she was drunk and this and that. She said she thought she was just going over there to smoke but he started coming onto her and it just happened…I asked why she would even put herself in that situation to begin with and why she didn’t stop it when or before it was starting.

I also kept asking why she kept in contact with him this whole time and she just said because she thought ye was a good friend to talk to whenever I wasn’t around (which was rare since we were together so much)

I didn’t care anymore, we were done, I stayed for a while just trying to figure out why she would do this, and she never tried to blame it on me, she said it was her own fault and that she ruined everything and that she feels like a terrible human being.

Fast forward a couple days and the anxiety is starting to hit me extremely naked, all throughout the day just constant anxiety, I have went through and hid all pictures of us, I put away the gifts she gave me, I deleted so many songs that I’ll probably never be able to listen to again because it triggers my anxiety.

I have never had anxiety prior to this, I loved this girl with everything I had and she betrayed me through all of our happy and sad times, i have called her a couple times over the past couple of days just to try and get more clarity and now she says it multiple small things that added up to her doing it such as me not hyping her up as much as I used to. I still want to call her and just hear her voice and idk why, I feel empty and sad with no motivation to do anything, not my business, my job, my YouTube channel, none of it.

I don’t know what to to because I loved her so much but the fact she chose to keep in contact with him and even go as to far as to have sex with him destroyed me.