During an argument, my husband (30m) called me (27F) “defective” in reference to my miscarriage. Am I overreacting in my response, and is it time for me to move on?

I didn't think I'd ever turn to Reddit for advice, but I'm in a really bad space right now and feel like no-one around me understands my point of view. I just wanted to come here for some opinions outside my family/friendship circle.

My husband and I (30M and 27F) have been together for five years, and married for two. I always adored him and we were very happy, so decided to start trying for a baby. I ended up falling pregnant and we were overjoyed, but last summer I ended up suffering a miscarriage. We were both heartbroken, and I felt so guilty like it was my fault our daughter had died. My husband took it very hot too, turning to alcohol to cope. After a couple of months of that we realised how unhealthy our situation was, so got couples therapy. It was hugely beneficial to us both, and my husband got sober. There was still something of a strain on our relationship, but our therapist assured us it was normal and we should try working through it.

Last week, my husband went out after work with a few of his friends. I was happy to see he was making an effort to open up his social life again, so decided to prepare a nice dinner that we could eat together once he was back. When he got home, I was shocked and upset to see him extremely drunk. I tried to keep a level tone with him while still asking him what the hell he was doing. My husband told me he "still needed a break from life sometimes", and accused me of trying to meddle in his social life. I was really offended by that, and told him so, and our back and forth quickly became an argument. I tried to tell him that what he was doing was hurting both of us, which resulted in him yelling "you're the one that's fucking defective". I have never felt so hurt by anything in my life, and I was so horrified I went silent. He had looked so angry and had so much aggression in his voice when he said it that I instantly got old feelings of guilt come back. I knew I had to get away from him that night, and didn't care to arrange somewhere for him while he was so drunk, so I just packed a bag and went to my parents.

Since then, I've been so torn on what to do. We've had plenty of tension since the miscarriage and I've never taken anything in an argument to heart like I did with my husband's "defective" comment. I don't know if I can go back to him, truthfully. I'm still at my parents' house, but my husband constantly blows up my phone and doesn't respect my request for space. Right now the sound of his voice makes me nauseous. His family are on my case trying to accuse me of abandoning a vulnerable grieving man, and even my own parents asked if I thought I'd been away from him for too long. I feel so alone in my decision to even be upset by what he said, let alone want some space – everyone seems to think I'm blowing it out of proportion.

In truth, I don't know if the marriage can last. But I guess I wanted to know if you think I'm overreacting – I know I'm still grieving too, and it's nude for me to regulate my own emotions in all this. I also recognize he has a problem. Any opinions or words of advice over this, or the marriage in general, would be so helpful.