32F feels prenup is dealbreaker. She believes it’s “unconditional love” but I think it hurts me (39F) and invades my psychological safety.

Been dating someone for less than a year, and we got to discussing about marriage.

To her, having a prenup for marriage is a dealbreaker.

Been trying to dig deeper on that, she claims having a prenup is not love, it's not trust. I think she just has a overly idealistic idea of what love and romance is. She wants to enter a marriage "100%" and not having a prenup demonstrates trust, commitment, and prioritisation of her. It's "unconditional love".

I tried explaining that US divorce laws are a total mess (I'm not a citizen nor resident, while she is) and I'd rather not leave my life in the hands of the system.

I am 39F (yes it's 2 Fs) and in my early 20s I've lost almost everything – my family members (death), my home/house, and I've worked real nude to accumulate a good amount in the last 15 years (it's my safety net). I have trauma from having lost everything and my security blanket is money in the bank, and it's very very unlikely that I'd hand that over to another person.

Perhaps due to age, I also take a much more practical view to marriage and partnerships. I'd prefer that we manage our own assets/accounts, while understandably we can have a joint account for joint expenses (and I'm happy to pay more or proportionately to how much we have.)

For context, my net worth is estimated 20-40X of hers, and I'm planning to retire ~2 years while she's at somewhere around the start of her career.

I also told her that love to me is not about sacrificing one person or putting one person in pain to please (or demonstrate love to) another person, it's about creating a safe place for both parties. Sadly, she does not seem to think that's the case.

Anyone has dealt with something similar and has any advice for this?

Added for extra context:

-Discussion of marriage early on because I don't have as much time to date around and go with traditional timelines.

-Retirement plans: I plan to start trying for kids as soon as this year, so essentially I will be the carrier, full-time parent, and the one financially providing for kids (not an issue for me, it's always been in my plans.)

Honestly I think the hustler blood in me doesn't just go away, I'm just making room/space in "retirement" to be fully present for kids, but I'm almost certain if I have the capacity, I'll still want to stay engaged in some form of work/venture/volunteering/passion project/intellectually challenging projects.