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On today's episode of how to blame a man for everything…
Idk about the series you‘re talking about but women like OP‘s girlfriend and Carrie are literally poison (I say this as a woman myself). And what you described is the exact same situation.
Why is she even with OP if she keeps seeing another dude she cheated with? They belong together, shitty people should date shitty people so we‘re all save?
Wow they did this all in front of his daughter?
Fantasies are just fantasies. It's entirely possible, probable even, to be aroused by something you'd NEVER actually participate in.
Porn is like any other form of escapism. It let's you mentally indulge in your wild safe in a relatively safe, consequence-free way, then you turn it off and life goes back to normal.
Don't try reading between the lines on this. You'll turn nothing into something with nothing to gain from it. If he's really into it, he'll say so, THEN you can properly turn this molehill into a mountain.
The issue is that he does not care enough about you to take your feelings into account.
He knows how you feel and he is still willing to put himself into a possible situation with someone who has blatantly disrespected you and your relationship.
She has no respect for either one of you. And has tried countless times to get him to have sex with her, flirt with him, etc
He obviously likes it as he keeps putting himself into situations with her.
He might not cheat by why is he willing to put himself in a situation where she can say something happened even if it didn't. You won't know the truth because you won't be there.
It will be his word against hers. And he will have no one to blame but himself
Would it be better to break up with him before something has a chance to happen or wait until it does?
You can get over it easier if you break up before If he isn't willing to accept your boundaries and not go then he cares nothing for you.
Have some self respect and don't allow yourself to be treated this way. Because a man wouldn't put himself in this situation and risk losing the person he loves to go on a trip. He would say he isn't going and stay home with you. He also would have no contact at all with this girl.
I kind of think this trip was planned so you couldn't go, and he could hook up with her, because you wouldn't be there to stop him. Seems fishy they plan it when they know you can't go.
Why are you so obsessed at proving that he liked you? You should try to understand that he is allowed to like someone else, especially if he just met this person.
Our brains grow until 25. By 30 we are moderately experienced. By 40 we might know exactly what we want. By 50 we are the full package. At 60 cognitive decline starts.
I am glad I never married in my 20's, because my views on humanity, people in general, gender, relationships, and existence, has been shaped to a great deal the past seven years, and I'm now 43. Holy crap am I glad I didn't get kids and raise them while still “figuring life out”. The kids would have gotten bad/unfinished advice the first seven years.
Doesn’t matter if he views this as “not a big deal has no bad intentions” he can say that til he is blue in the face. What really matters here is what YOU are willing to put up with, listen to what your gut is telling you and follow that. Don’t waste years of your life being loyal to a man who is disloyal, you will regret it trust me I’m speaking from experience.
Do what you gotta do. As long as you can afford to care for the child, you have the time to care for it and your prepared to be a single mother go for it. But do not willingly put another child into a bad living situation.
The thought of living with Larry David is exhausting, no? Always having to excuse his “unintentional” rudeness
I think you should leave.
If you won’t do that – create a second email address, and document every single instance of emotional and physical abuse. Send yourself an email asap after it happens so they are dated and time stamped. You say she won’t hurt your kids, but once you’re not there to be her punching bag, and aren’t there to monitor her, she might, so it’s crucial that you have evidence of her abuse as you build a case for custody.
His insecurity about his own masculinity isn’t your problem.
Modern times require modern takes on gender roles if they are going to exist.
I am the emotional center of my relationship and I am at the time the stay at home husband.
If anyone tried to tell me I wasn’t a man because of it I would laugh as I do what I want to every day and make sure my wife feels cherished.
ahem if he has to ask someone to LET him be a man… hes never going to truly “be a man”
I've got to say I disagree with everyone jumping straight to divorce. I think the way your wife is treating you at the moment is terrible but she's mentioned fears about losing the house. Yes, she could be doing more to help but ultimately I think she's scared. Also, from what she said about the baby I think she probably has her own anxieties that her biological clock is ticking – I get these myself and I can tell you that when you've wanted to be a mum all your adult life it gets scary once you pass 30 and it still hasn't happened for you but it's happened for all your friends. It seems to me that she feels all her hopes and dreams are falling apart and she doesn't have time to postpone them whilst you (as a couple) get back on your feet. Don't get me wrong, she's acting like a dick. But if you love her, take the job, tell her you're doing your best and she needs to realise that and you both need to be patient with, and kind to, each other.
That’s obviously not enough information. It’s probably something with how you approach them, eye contact, hygiene, word choice, tone, comments, etc
My (29M) gf (29F) asked me if I'd be interested in swinging.
I asked her back if she would be interested to which she said “yes”.
she made another comment about how I am “not open-minded and only want to keep her in a little box for myself anyway”.
our relationship started 18 months ago as an open-relationship which eventually turned into a monogamous one
She’s missing that lifestyle mate. You either agree to swing or she’ll cheat. It will happen. I guarantee it.
As her partner, it is reasonable for you to expect a high level of consideration and respect from her. You shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable because she’s behaving a certain way around and with ex boyfriends. Telling her to cut contact is a bit ott and would come off as controlling, I think that would likely backfire on you. But you should definitely have a serious conversation about expectations and boundaries and how her behaviour affected you.
But it's like TV so you should be fine with it! It's not like anyone ever wants to watch anything real on TV!! Right?? /s
Nice meme
No way you’re a serious person
?
Before I answer, what was your response to the above message?
Yeah, it’s condescending. If it is him being direct, then he’s saying explicitly that he doesn’t think you understand what he’s saying.
You’re right. Love is not enough. What you’re describing sounds like an okay friend, not a romantic partner.
Just tell him you’re not right for each other and you both should move on.
This gets into the he said she said. He said they discussed it , she said she doesn't remember. Idk about you but anytime I've forgotten something important that my wife swears we talked about, it's on me to respect how I made her feel and move forward from there, not belittle her because I don't remember talking about it .
Two days after she told you she wanted a break, she slept with someone else. During this time, she asked you to be faithful to her. Two days is a really short time to go from wanting to be faithful to someone to cheating. It's completely possible she asked to go on this break with the specific intention of sleeping with someone else.
This situation in itself is suspicious enough, but the fact that her friend who you trust has come out to you saying she cheated on you, it doesn't look like she had good intentions.
He knows he won't date a virgin at his age and yours, or that's my theory. But he's trying to make you feel like trash, like if you didn't deserve better because “you're ruined” (you're not! You're just a normal human experiencing normal life!). People who think that don't deserve better, stay on bad relationships, and accept all sort of abuse. It happened to me. My first boyfriend would say things like “you talk too much! I'm a saint for even tolerating how much you talk! Nobody else would want to stay even an hour with you!”. For the record I talk the normal amount for a normal person, but he would say this so much, several times a day, that he had me believe it and turned me into almost mute. And then abuse started, REAL abuse as in… you know, you've probably seen movies. When he realized that he had my mind, that he warped my thoughts, that I wouldn't leave because “he's a saint, he stays because he tolerated that I said a full 'hello' instead of just 'hi', I talk so much!” and he warped my mind in other ways too. He made me feel little, helpless, before starting with the complete abuse. I'm not saying this guy will also start with complete abuse, but insulting you on the basis that you had a normal life before you knew he existed on the planet, is already a form of emotional abuse and it IS making you feel little and like you owe him, when you do not.
I would say that she has made her romantic interest in you obvious. If you are like most attractive women, you have been in a similar situation with men dozens of times. You have told her that it's friendship only. The only question is whether she has the self control to accept that and remain a good friend.
He has visited Toronto before when he was in school, my guess is he has good memories there or the personal experiences which make him feel it is safer.
Congratulations for realizing this sooner rather than later.
Jesus. Well I agree with you here. This is becoming borderline unhinged. You’re right, she just wants the kids out.
I guess time to show her the door. If she wants out so bad, offer to help her pack. Up to you whether you want to continue this relationship in separate houses.
I’m sorry OP. Good luck to you and the kiddos and hopefully you’ll get some peace and quiet soon.