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When I look back over all the times someone was treating me poorly, where I felt awful but just wouldn't give up- I like to take a step back and think about what's really going on with me. What am I hoping for? What am I afraid of?
It sounds funny but once hindsight is activated I can't think of a single romantic entanglement where I didn't feel pretty much the same as the other person- if I scraped away all my own fears about needing to prove myself to be loving and loveable all I was left with was Some Guy who wasn't really doing anything to write home about. But I put him on a pedestal and made a song and dance out of him because I was determined to project magic where there was none.
And that's not exactly a high crime but I think when we are all whirled up in our hopes and fears it's nude to see the forest for the trees.
He love bombs, he love starves, he future fakes to get your guard down, reaps the benefits then ghosts. He is doing a text book job of getting you excited and helping you to feel like this is Something Special whilst simultaneously poking around for other women. Who the other women may be is irrelevant. It doesn't do anything to change how he treats YOU which isn't good enough to gain access to your time, attention, your body, your emotions. FULL. STOP.
And I am saying this to you because I want you to reflect on your feelings- your true feelings. I am not saying you are the same as me but I think on some level we all want to believe the best in people and that love is out there- and it is- but my theory is it only arrives when you stop letting in imposters masquerading as love when they're just looking for a bit of attention or entertainment. If you want more, accept nothing less!
I am a firm believer that nothing is personal- whatever he is looking for if that ain't you that doesn't mean you are any less amazing or wonderful. It just means he ain't your guy. And it's a shame he has been trash about it. But waiting around hoping he will grow a soul won't help you find a good relationship any sooner.
When I look back over all the times someone was treating me poorly, where I felt awful but just wouldn't give up- I like to take a step back and think about what's really going on with me. What am I hoping for? What am I afraid of?
It sounds funny but once hindsight is activated I can't think of a single romantic entanglement where I didn't feel pretty much the same as the other person- if I scraped away all my own fears about needing to prove myself to be loving and loveable all I was left with was Some Guy who wasn't really doing anything to write home about. But I put him on a pedestal and made a song and dance out of him because I was determined to project magic where there was none.
And that's not exactly a high crime but I think when we are all whirled up in our hopes and fears it's nude to see the forest for the trees.
He love bombs, he love starves, he future fakes to get your guard down, reaps the benefits then ghosts. He is doing a text book job of getting you excited and helping you to feel like this is Something Special whilst simultaneously poking around for other women. Who the other women may be is irrelevant. It doesn't do anything to change how he treats YOU which isn't good enough to gain access to your time, attention, your body, your emotions. FULL. STOP.
And I am saying this to you because I want you to reflect on your feelings- your true feelings. I am not saying you are the same as me but I think on some level we all want to believe the best in people and that love is out there- and it is- but my theory is it only arrives when you stop letting in imposters masquerading as love when they're just looking for a bit of attention or entertainment. If you want more, accept nothing less!
I am a firm believer that nothing is personal- whatever he is looking for if that ain't you that doesn't mean you are any less amazing or wonderful. It just means he ain't your guy. And it's a shame he has been trash about it. But waiting around hoping he will grow a soul won't help you find a good relationship any sooner.