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If she hasn’t posted on Facebook in years, you can’t really know if she’s still married without more digging. She could Have easily ditched Facebook and made a new ig after a divorce. Lots of people just don’t bother deleting old photos or profiles, and the two of you still seem new enough that she may not have felt the need to divulge it.
If you don’t think you can trust whatever she tells you, you may be able to find more out via Google.
You do need to talk to her, but I don’t think you should jump to conclusions. IF your suspicions are right – and I’m not saying they’re not – you should get away asap. But right now you really don’t have enough info.
I do tell him so but I typically don’t have the option to leave. He once tried to force me to stay at his friend’s for a week and I paid to fly home and he was angry.
Most of the time I can’t be rude to the other person he’s forcing me to be around so I just am angry for hours until I can get mad at him.
u/throwra6546 Many times in life, you will not get closure. You have to accept that as a very hot truth of life. Stop wasting your time begging him to tell you the truth. He is a liar. Liar will lie. Accept that fact and do your best to move on to preserve your peace.
You started dating a smoker, so I don't know why you are surprised she's still smoking.
It's great that she was able to stop during the pregnancy, but you cannot make her quit, it has to be a decision that she make. If you don't want to date a smoker, don't date a smoker.
Get this psycho out of your social circle if possible. I'd worry that, if this is what he thinks is funny, the things he might escalate to could be dangerous.
Good question to ask is how much of your ex do you want to see for the rest of your life? do you want to possibly raise this child without their real father in the picture, and have them question why their whole life? do you terminate and appreciate what you have with your current daughter and freedom from the ex? I personally would terminate, but that’s just me. Id have to fight my hormones to keeps the fetus for sure though. I currently have a son, and I wouldn’t want to have another baby on my own.
super immature.
i can’t imagine that he thought you’d be on board with this behavior.
this does show a lack of impulse. and does he really feel old people deserve to be treated so poorly?
I don't think you should move on. I think you should move away. Confronting him will only confirm that he's garbage.
You should tell her she has lied, and cheated on you by going behind your back to someone that has hots for her. She needs to understand, and acknowledge it.
Now, for you, it would be best to break up. You can't trust your gf, she prefers breaking your trust repeatedly than cease contact with someone that is into her. Any sane person would see it as a too red of a flag to even consider long term relationship.
I guess you can wait for next inevitable betrayal of trust, and then use it an excuse to break up. You don't need it to break up, but if you feel like you do, then do it.
You can consider telling her you have been cinsidering breaking up with her. Pros of this that when she betrays your trsust again, she would do it knowing she us doing with her relation already on the brink of collapse.
Not telling has advantage as well. Along with complete stop of supervision on her, will make it easier for her to stray again. If you need excuse to break up this the way to speedrun it.
But you know that it’s a hickey and knew what it means. You don’t need him to confirm or tell you the truth. The fact that he cheated should be enough for you to dump him.
He’s just telling you that to make it your fault, and to keep you insecure. And it’s working. You know you don’t stink. You know he does. And still you’re bending over backwards to please a guy who couldn’t give less of a shit. Cut your losses. He sucks.
Well those are the unfortunate consequences of our actions.
I completely understand. When you're not expecting to be put in a particular situation (and in fact expect that you certainly wouldnt be treated a particular way bc everyone knows how you feel), it can be very hard to know how to react. Its pretty common to kind of just go into survival mode or dissociation mode bc you cant even process it as its happening. It sounds to me that you're now experiencing what i call an emotional hangover. Taking some space and time sounds like a great idea.
im going to link to a post about boundaries (and how to specifically articulate them) that i've found personally helpful. Its tailored towards those dealing with narcs though it can be applicable to all sorts of situations and dynamics imo.
If you're not already and also have access, perhaps therapy could be helpful for you rn. Recovering from everything you went through is difficult enough, its even harder when the person/ppl you thought you could actually trust arent behaving in ways that show they have your back. I suspect it is/will be hot to deal with the fact that your bro/mom have a relationship with someone who represents enormous pain. I really hope that your mom will at least pull her head out of her ass enough to be able to respect your boundaries going forward but i do think you should be prepared for this to be an ongoing issue to some extent.
I highly doubt it's about the money or your pass time.
It's more likely he has to watch his own kids while you're unavailable.
Yeah a win win for AP
She died or you broke up with her?
This is a him problem. Forward or screenshot all the messages and send them to him. Tell him to control his fwb. Then block her. You owe her nothing. You don't owe her your time, energy, or consideration.
It sounds like you dodged a bullet.
Make sure you get what's fair in the split, and move on with your life.
This might not be the terrible thing you think it is. She clarified she wasn't breaking up with you. She explained she was stressed and just wanted her family. After all that training, it might be simply that she wants to have a low-key time with her family. That doesn't mean you're any less important. I understand that you want to be there and you are hurt by it, but here's what I'd do instead: send her a text and say hey, I really want us to celebrate your graduation together, so please let me know when works best for you and I'll plan something. Try not to stress out too much!
Tell her if she plans on being with you long term she needs to get over this immature mindset or miss out on visiting these wonderful places altogether.
I cant i love her …even though hurts a lot
She has lied to you multiple times, and now is willing to go drinking with bob, even though it sabotages your relationship further. On what planet do you live!?
Although I guess I can't blame only her here. Instead of simply telling her, drop him or I can't be with, you do nothing of use. You already knew this before, and allowed to get to this point. Your way of acting in relationship ensures your failure, but I guess this is fine, since you are considerate of other people, that's what matters, righr?